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Reddit user /u/CammieBay's Detransition Story

Transitioned: 17 -> Detransitioned: 22
female
low self-esteem
hated breasts
took hormones
regrets transitioning
influenced online
retransition
puberty discomfort
This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
On Reddit, people often share their experiences across multiple comments or posts. To make this information more accessible, our AI gathers all of those scattered pieces into a single, easy-to-read summary and timeline. All system prompts are noted on the prompts page.

Sometimes AI can hallucinate or state things that are not true. But generally, the summarised stories are accurate reflections of the original comments by users.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious

Based on the provided comments, the account appears authentic. The user expresses nuanced, personal opinions consistent with a desister's perspective, including advice on navigating social perceptions, personal experiences with transition/detransition, and criticism of both trans and gender-critical communities. The language is natural, varied, and contextually appropriate, showing no signs of automated or scripted responses.

About me

I was born female and my discomfort with puberty led me online, where I found communities that convinced me transitioning was the answer. I took testosterone for a few years, thinking it would fix my unhappiness, but I was really just trying to escape myself. I realized the hormones weren't making me happy and I stopped to focus on what I truly wanted for my body. Now, I live legally as a woman for simplicity, but I don't identify as one and find the whole concept of gender pointless. I've learned to ignore online noise and just focus on building the life that's right for me.

My detransition story

My whole journey with gender started because I just didn't fit in. I was born female and as a teenager, I felt a deep discomfort with my body, especially during puberty. I really hated my breasts and felt like my body was betraying me. I spent a lot of time online and found communities that seemed to have all the answers. I was influenced by what I saw and read, and it felt like transitioning was the only way to fix the deep unhappiness and low self-esteem I was feeling.

I started to socially transition, and then I began taking testosterone. For a while, it felt like I was solving my problems. I was trying to become a man, but looking back, I think a lot of it was about escaping from being me. I was so focused on the idea of gender that I didn't stop to think about what I actually wanted for my body and my life, separate from all those labels.

Eventually, I realized that the hormones weren't making me happy. They were just another thing I was taking, and I started to question why I was adding that risk to my health if I could possibly be okay without it. I decided to stop taking T to see what would happen. It was scary, but it was the right choice for me.

Now, I don't really think in gender terms anymore. I see all that talk as kind of dumb and stupid. What matters is having the body and life you want, not what box you check. I legally present as female because it's easier and stops people from giving me hell, but I know I'm male. It's almost fun to mess with people's perceptions because their tiny brains basically break trying to figure it out.

I don't regret my transition because it got me to where I am now, but I see it as a difficult and complicated path I had to walk. I learned that you have to do things for yourself, not for others, and you have to stay away from toxic people and ignore their bullshit. My advice to anyone is to just focus on getting your basic shit straight first. Ignore the online arguments; you're not going to fix the world. Just focus on what you want.

I don't have any ill will toward the trans community. My experience just doesn't reflect theirs, and that's okay. We all have our own paths.

Here is a timeline of my journey:

Age Event
13-14 Started feeling intense discomfort with my body and hated my breasts during puberty.
17 Heavily influenced by online communities, began socially transitioning.
19 Started taking testosterone.
22 Stopped taking testosterone to see how I would feel without it.
24 (Present) Live legally as female for simplicity, but do not identify as a woman. No longer think in gender terms.

Top Comments by /u/CammieBay:

10 comments • Posting since January 20, 2022
Reddit user CammieBay (Social Desistance - Indifferent toward transition) advises detransitioners to stop thinking in gender terms, focus on their own body and life goals, and tell others only what they need to hear to avoid conflict.
9 pointsJan 20, 2022
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What I did is this: stop thinking in gender terms.

What to tell others? Tell them that you are a man/woman depending on your preferred use of public bathrooms, name, etc. Basically tell them what they need to heard so they won't give you hell.

Just focus on having the body and the life you want to have, ignore the online discussions, what others say or think about this issue. You're not going to fix the world hunger, the LGBTphobia or trans rights alone, you only will get hurt for nothing.

Once you get your basic sh*t straight, it will be easier to know what to do with everything else.

Reddit user CammieBay (Social Desistance - Indifferent toward transition) discusses the gendered and racial double standards of haircuts, noting it's easier for women to have diverse styles while men face judgment and black women experience racism.
9 pointsFeb 4, 2022
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I find it very weird how people relates haircuts to gender. Presenting as a woman it's a lot easier to have all kinds of haircuts, while as a man you can easily seen as unprofessional or weirdo, just for your haircut!

There's a lot of racism involved in haircuts too, black women suffer that a lot.

Society is weird man.

Reddit user CammieBay (Social Desistance - Indifferent toward transition) comments on the risks of being used as a political tool, advising financial caution and suggesting anonymous storytelling to avoid backlash from both trans and anti-trans groups.
8 pointsJan 20, 2022
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There will always be people that will try to use you, be it trans or not. If your income is at the line, do you really need to risk it?

Also, the only people that I know usually get into trouble with "super PC" are the ones that after detransition become really alt-right and "transition is bad for EVERYONE", as long as you don't start bashing other trans folks, I don't really see any issue.

Obviously, someone who once was a gay and now says he's 100% hetero and thinks being gay is a mistake is not going to blend well in gay clubs and around gay groups... for obvious reasons, the same can be said about trans people.

If you really want to speak up, can't you share your story anonymously?

Reddit user CammieBay (Social Desistance - Indifferent toward transition) comments on the complexity of friendships during transition, advising to move on from unsupportive communities.
5 pointsJan 20, 2022
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Doesn't sound like a friend to me. I would also like to point that during transition people are very susceptible to anything related to gender, and we can't also know what exactly did you tell them, so... it's complicated.

Better to just move on from those "friends" and "communities", it doesn't do any good to neither you or them.

Reddit user CammieBay (Social Desistance - Indifferent toward transition) comments on living as a legally female male who enjoys challenging people's perceptions of gender.
5 pointsFeb 3, 2022
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You remind me of me. I get read as female so I roll with that legally to make things easier, yet Im male and I dont consider myself a woman any longer.

It is fun to fuck with peoples perception of gender and sex, their tiny brains basically break each time lol.

I wish things were different and people more open, but it is what it is...

I had a similar haircut on my female phase lol. Then shaved and nowadays short, a lot easier to maintain.

have a nice day.

Reddit user CammieBay (Social Desistance - Indifferent toward transition) comments on the difficulty of changing minds with studies, expressing support for a detransitioner questionnaire.
3 pointsJan 20, 2022
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Honestly, I've seen on the trans/antitrans discussion people on each side throw studies, polls, articles... and the other side didn't care. So that's why i don't think you're gonna win anyone over this with the questionnaire.

Wish you all the luck, in any case. As you say there's a lot of people who are left behind and even the so called professionals doesn't know what to do with our kind.

Reddit user CammieBay (Social Desistance - Indifferent toward transition) advises ignoring toxic people, calls gendered labels dumb, and encourages a young person to make life choices for themselves.
3 pointsJan 20, 2022
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What we all need to learn is how to stay away from toxic people, and ignore their bullsh*t.

Be all "masculine" you want. what being masculine even means? It's funny, because I'm a male that transitioned and depending on how you ask, there's people who consider me a tomboy, others see me as very "girly" or "feminine"... all this gendered talk is so dumb and stupid.

You're also incredible young. There's still a lot for you to experience and discover, to think and rethink, and to "change your mind" over and over again.

Whatever path you chose in life, do it for yourself, not for others.

Take care.

Reddit user CammieBay (Social Desistance - Indifferent toward transition) explains that feeling undesirable during detransition is a state of mind, advising to focus on self-acceptance and trusting that partners who accept your body will always be found.
3 pointsJan 20, 2022
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That's like saying, I'm fat, I'm disabled, I'm this or that... nobody will ever love me.

It's clear that you are not in a good place about your body, you need to work on that, but it's also clear that your partner is ok with your body, and what's more important, you will always find a partner or people who are ok with you no matter your physique.

I will focus first in trying to stop thinking what others may think of you, focus on what you want. Work on that.

Reddit user CammieBay (Social Desistance - Indifferent toward transition) explains their suggestion to stop taking testosterone to see if one can be happy without it, using an analogy about unnecessarily taking medication.
3 pointsJan 20, 2022
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I will try to put an example:

Hi, I don't really have the flu, but I'm still taking paracetamol frequently.

WHY???

If you really can be happy with your body without having to resort to taking drugs, why add an extra risk to your health?

My suggestion, stop taking T, see what happens. If you're ok that's great, if you get to a point that you feel miserable about it, then the choice is obvious.

Reddit user CammieBay (Social Desistance - Indifferent toward transition) discusses the trans community's view of detransitioners, rejecting the ROGD label and explaining the confusion that arises when her experience doesn't fit non-binary or trans narratives.
3 pointsJan 21, 2022
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I feel like the trans community sees detransitioners as all ROGD "trenders"

I think the trans community see ROGD as an hoax and pseudoscience at best? So I don't think so. I've seen people get angry with detransitioners that go all "gender critical" and terfy, it's not my case, what I've found out in the trans circles is people that doesn't reflect with my experience on gender, and that doesn't know were to put me (most try to tell me I'm non binary or something like that, and it's not the case either).