This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on this limited sample, the account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or a bad-faith actor.
The comments show:
- Personalized, empathetic advice that is context-specific, not generic.
- Consistent perspective focused on self-acceptance and the complexity of gender dysphoria.
- A believable persona of a desister/detransitioner who is passionate and critical of certain medical and community practices, which aligns with the stated subreddit's culture.
The language is nuanced and does not exhibit the repetitive, agenda-driven posting typical of inauthentic accounts.
About me
I started taking testosterone at 23 after feeling pushed into things too quickly while I was in a vulnerable place. My journey taught me that my real struggle was with low self-esteem, not my gender, and that medical transition wasn't the answer for me. I stopped hormones at 24 and learned that real friends will accept you through detransition, as it's about putting yourself first. While I don't regret exploring my identity, I deeply regret how fast the medical process moved. I'm now learning to be confident as a masculine woman, content without any medical intervention.
My detransition story
My whole journey with transition and detransition was complicated and, looking back, I think I was pushed into things too quickly. I was in a really vulnerable place, and seeking help felt like a huge step, but the system felt like a gamble. I’m surprised to hear about psychiatrists who are overly hasty in diagnosing gender dysphoria because I had the opposite problem, but I know from others that it happens. Some people are almost bullied into transitioning when it’s not a magical solution for everyone.
I took testosterone for a while, and from what I’ve learned from other people, male hormones have a permanent effect on female bodies even after just a few months. That makes detransitioning from female-to-male not as smooth as some might think. I wish my doctor hadn’t moved so quickly; a single letter should never be enough for such a big decision.
A big part of my struggle was low self-esteem. I kept thinking the grass was greener on the other side. I’ve come to believe that these feelings come back until you work on your confidence. You can be introverted and masculine, and you can be introverted and confident at the same time. For me, working on my self-esteem was what I needed to stop the feelings of doubt. I realized that if I had been born a girl, there would have been different layers of insecurity, and if I had fully transitioned, I would have been preoccupied with passing. There’s nothing wrong with being a man; it’s a pretty sweet deal, all things considered.
I never felt like I had to transition to be valid. Too many people are told they can’t have experienced dysphoria if they haven’t transitioned, but that’s not true. Some people live with dysphoria their entire lives without transitioning, and I wish that was more accepted. I’m always glad when people open up about their dysphoria but find ways to be content with their lives without medical intervention.
When I started to detransition, I was worried about how it would look and how people would react. I have a shaved head and dress in a pretty masculine way, but I found that I didn’t make anyone uncomfortable in women’s restrooms, especially since I have no facial hair. Little things, like wearing simple earrings on both ears, can help you feel more comfortable without drastically changing your look.
I was also worried about my friends. I thought they would feel like their trust had been destroyed, that it was some big dramatic betrayal. But I learned that my own identity and detransition don’t revolve around them. Real friends will accept you, and fake friends will take care of themselves. You are not at fault for anything; you were just trying to live your life and found out that way wasn’t for you. Detransitioning is about you, and you have to put yourself first.
I don’t regret exploring my gender because it led me to where I am now, but I do have regrets about how fast everything moved medically. I think I needed more time and better therapy to work on my underlying confidence issues instead of jumping into medical transition. I benefited from stepping back and realizing that transition isn’t for everyone, and that’s okay.
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 23 | Started taking testosterone |
| 24 | Stopped hormones and began social detransition |
Top Comments by /u/CarelessLingonberry:
This. Too many people are told they can't have experienced dysphoria if they haven't transitioned. Transition is not for everyone, and some people go decades (or entire lifetimes) with dysphoria without transitioning or identifying certain ways.
I'm always glad when people open up about their dysphoria but find ways to be content with their lives: wish this was more accepted.
They said they would take a long time to accept it, if at all, as they would feel that their feelings and trust would have been destroyed.
I see they have a flair for the dramatic.
Your own identity and detransition don't revolve around them, and they'll either get over it or you'll simply find better people. You are not at fault for anything, you haven't betrayed anyone's trust. You were just trying to live your life and you found out that way wasn't for you. Put yourself first, detransitioning is about you. It's not your gender that makes real friends love and support you. If you explain clearly where you were coming from, real friends will accept you and fake friends will take care of themselves.
Call me pessimistic, but I think a lot of people would flip tables and would drive the youtuber offline - whether for a while or for good. I'm sure there would be people that would appreciate youtubers being true to themselves that way, but it's really the nasty minority that creates trouble.
Your description is close enough to mine, and so far I haven't made anyone uncomfortable going into women's restrooms - and I got a shaved head and dress in a pretty masculine way, nothing form fitting, no blingy stuff. I think you should be okay, particularly if you have no facial hair.
If it makes you feel more comfortable though, you can try wearing accessories and/or colors that are considered to be more on the feminine side. It's the little details. Wearing even the simplest earrings on both earlobes is usually coded as feminine and won't drastically change your look.
It comes back because, at least until you work on your confidence, the grass seems greener on the other side. You can be introverted and masculine, just as you can be introverted and confident at the same time; you don't have to be extroverted and/or charismatic to have self-confidence. Body language and learning not to be too hard on oneself can do a lot; so can charisma, debate, or public speaking classes.
I'm positive working on your confidence/self-esteem is what you need for those feelings to stop coming back to you if you are sure you are not trans. The best way to stop questioning yourself is working on yourself, because you become the one in control.
If you were a girl, there would be different layers to your insecurity. If you transitioned, there would be other layers still - like being preoccupied with passing. It's great being a man, plenty of people would kill to be one. Not many people nowadays would say out loud their lives are easier and better for being born male, but all in all you got a pretty sweet deal.
The most important thing is what you said yourself: there is nothing wrong with you.
I hope that psychiatrist is no longer practicing. A letter should in no way be considered enough for diagnosis. The amount of people hurried (and sometimes bullied...) into transitioning when it's no magical solution is astounding. Besides, from the experience of other people I hear that male hormones have a permanent effect on female bodies even if taken for just a few months, and so the detransition from ftm is not as smooth. Yet another reason he shouldn't have moved so quickly.
Don't beat yourself up though, you were in a vulnerable position and it's already a lot you sought help. Thank you for sharing your experience though. I'm surprised to hear about psychiatrists that are overly hasty in diagnosing GID as I had the opposite problem. Finding good therapists is really a gamble, and gender identity issues make it even tougher.
Always amazes me how much bigoted words can come even from other people in the LGBT+ community, you'd think they'd know better. There are definitely some who have a "transer-than-thou" attitude, I'm going to assume it's because of their own insecurities. You don't have to transition to be valid. If are even considering detransitioning, as other people have suggested, it would be better to stop taking hormones and give yourself the time and space to evaluate where you stand. It's your body after all, you're the one who gets to have the last word on it.