This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account appears authentic. The user, Cenis91, presents a consistent, nuanced, and emotionally complex narrative of being a female desister who attempted to live as a man but ultimately accepted a female identity due to biological reality and social difficulties with "passing."
There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or an inauthentic account. The story evolves naturally over two years, with specific personal details (e.g., height, physical changes from testosterone, struggles with swimwear) that align with a genuine lived experience. The passion and internal conflict expressed are consistent with a real person grappling with this difficult issue.
About me
I thought I was supposed to be a man because I hated the idea of being a woman in society, so I started taking testosterone. My body never felt right on it, and after I stopped, my hips and thighs quickly became more feminine again. I realized I couldn't change my biological reality and that fighting it was making me unhappy. I've come to accept that I am a masculine woman, not a man. Now, I wear clothes that suit my female body and have found peace in just being myself.
My detransition story
My whole journey with gender has been long and confusing. For a long time, I really believed I was supposed to be a man. I hated the idea of being a woman in society and I desperately wanted to live an unfettered man’s life. I thought transitioning was the answer. I even took testosterone for a while.
But it never felt completely right. I often had this feeling that my body was rejecting the transition. My passing as a man was very bad. I’m a very small person, only 5'1", and even on testosterone, my body developed in ways that felt wrong for the male identity I was trying to have. After I stopped taking testosterone, my body changed even more. My hips widened, my thighs and buttocks got bigger, and I quickly got a very feminine figure again. It happened so fast it was overwhelming, and I tried to hide my curves under baggy clothes.
I eventually realized that no matter how much I wanted to be a man, I couldn't change my biological reality. I was born female, I went through female puberty, and that is just a fact of my life. Trying to fight against it only made me unhappy. It felt like a vain struggle. I came to understand that I’m a tomboy—a woman who is masculine in her style and interests, but a woman nonetheless.
It was a big shift to accept being called "she" and "Miss" or "Ma'am" again. For a long time, being called those things felt like an insult. It still feels a little weird sometimes, but I know it’s what is appropriate for me now. I had to accept that when I wear men's clothing, I just look like a woman wearing men's clothes, not like a man. Even if I had gotten top surgery, with my wide hips it would seem ridiculous and inappropriate for me to be shirtless at the beach. So now I wear women's one-piece swimsuits because they are more suitable for my body. I even wear skirts sometimes and don't feel ridiculous anymore.
I don't really see myself as a woman in the sense of gender stereotypes, but I am sure that I could never be a man. I've learned to accept my female condition. I regret that we live in a world where people constantly need to point out your sex, but it's something I can't escape. The most important thing for me was learning to accept myself, which includes not being ashamed of the sex I was born with. I had to give up the fight and just be who I am.
Here is a timeline of the main events:
| My Age | Event |
|---|---|
| Not specified | Started identifying as a man and socially transitioned. |
| Not specified | Began taking testosterone. |
| Not specified | Stopped taking testosterone. My body quickly developed a more feminine figure (wider hips, thicker thighs). |
| 33 | Fully accepted being a woman again. Changed my civility title to "Miss/Madam" and began wearing clothing, like one-piece swimsuits and skirts, that suit my female body. |
Top Comments by /u/Cenis91:
We cannot choose our sex, it is a biological reality. I was born a woman like you and I will remain so for life regardless of my appearance. I’m totally a tomboy but I consider the pronouns "she/her" to be the right pronouns for me even if I’d rather be born a man, I have no power over that. I find that it is a vain struggle and one that has personally made me unhappy to try to change what by nature cannot be changed. We have to learn to accept being women with what it implies because the transition is far from being a solution: it is only for a few people.
I feel the same as you: it is a reality easier to accept when we accept it in its exclusively biological dimension. I can accept to be called miss or madam or designated by the pronouns "she" and "her" because it means what I am biologically and not socially and psychologically. I would so much rather be a man biologically but I would never be so I gave up this vain fight but I remain the same person whether I am perceived as a man or a woman.
I really think it’s not necessary. Estrogen is enough to give female curves. After the testosterone stopped, my hips widened, my thighs thickened and my buttocks increased very quickly. It’s even too fast for me and I try to hide my curves under wide tracksuits and baggy pants.
I really recognize myself in your testimony I posted almost the same message a few months ago but I finally decided to stay a man because that’s what I am even though I am biologically female. I find it interesting that you have the feeling your body rejects the transition because I’ve often had the same feeling. Finally I decided to assume myself as an androgynous man I can’t bear the idea of being a woman in society.
I am uncomfortable too but my natural appearance was too feminine to be credible as a man so I was even more uncomfortable. I accept being considered a woman without being as natural as most women. The situations where men and women are separated are painful to me but I have changed my "sir" civility to "madam" because it is more appropriate to my present appearance (even dressed as a man and with very short hair, I look like a woman because of my size - I’m 5.1- and my very round hip shapes and my clearly feminine thighs. I also have a very feminine face). Everyone saw me as a girl, even on T. So I’m adapting to my female condition. I felt ridiculous pretending to be a man. I am French and it is regrettable to me that everyone needs to constantly tell an individual what his sex is but it is difficult to escape it. I’m not really a woman in the sense of gender but what I’m sure of is that I could never be a man.
I think, you are still young and you have time to build yourself as the woman you are. Take your time. I am 33 years old and I recently accepted to be a woman and to be gendered accordingly. No one calls me Mister anymore, but Miss or Madam, whereas I used to feel this civility as an insult (it still makes me feel weird sometimes but I know this is what suits me best in a gendered universe), men treat me like any woman, if I wear men’s clothing, I clearly look like a woman dressed as a man, when I’ve lived for much longer than you have under a male identity. However, since I have wide hips again, it would seem inappropriate and ridiculous to be shirtless at the sea or at the pool even if I had surgery. I now wear women’s swimsuits (in one piece), it is more suitable for my body and decent.If I wear a skirt, I don’t feel ridiculous anymore. At the same time, given my small size (barely 5.1) I am much more in my place as a woman than as a man. You don’t have male chromosomes so I don’t see why you can’t be a woman again. You just have to give yourself time. Be proud to be yourself (which includes not being ashamed of your birth sex)
I think it depends of your natural morphology. I think I naturally have fairly broad shoulders but without T, the trapezoids and muscles are no longer drawn as before.
I also took a lot of fat in the hips and in the thighs and buttocks, which gives me a very feminine figure even if the shoulders remain relatively wide.
You can have a feminine figure with broad shoulders, the main thing is just that the hips are wider than the shoulders.
There are also male swimsuits that cover the torso and that can appear neutral for an androgynous person like me, I’ll try.
This kind of things, for example :
https://www.maximhom.com/import/maillot-de-bain-pour-hommes-coupe-combi-short.html
Yes, totally. I dream everyday of being a guy and being able to live an unfettered man’s life, which is absolutely not the case as a transman. we cannot get rid of the weight of biology. I was raised as a girl : I had my period, I have feminine shapes, a very small size. I also like to wear masculine outfits (tracksuits, sneakers, short haircut) to feel better and sometimes it makes me feel "like a boy" but now I know I’m a tomboy and not a guy.
Thanks for your testimony. It's difficult to let speak others and don't care because we live in society (unfortunately? :) )
However, I think I don't be happy to said others said only "she/her/Miss/Ma'am" to design me but it is so hard to live as a man with a very bad passing.