This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags indicating it is a bot or an inauthentic detransitioner/desister.
The user demonstrates:
- A consistent, nuanced, and personal perspective on detransition, AGP, and the psychological drivers of transition.
- First-person accounts of their own medical transition, detransition, and struggles with pornography.
- A clear, argumentative writing style that engages with other users, showing an understanding of the community's discourse.
The passion and strong opinions expressed are consistent with a genuine detransitioner's experience.
About me
I was born male and my questioning started from a sexual fantasy about being a woman, which was heavily fueled by porn. I had a very weak sense of self and got caught up in online communities that presented transition as the only solution. Taking hormones finally ripped the fantasy apart and showed me the medical reality wasn't the answer I was looking for. I've since detransitioned and am now comfortable being a man. I've learned that for me, this was about deeper issues like a weak identity and internalized confusion, not about truly being female.
My detransition story
My journey into and out of transition was a long and complicated one, driven more by internal confusion and external influences than by a true, innate sense of being the opposite sex.
I was born male. For me, a lot of my initial questioning came from a place of sexual fantasy. I was attracted to women, but I also had this intense, euphoric fantasy about being a woman. I now recognize this as autogynephilia (AGP). It was a powerful, rock-hard-boner-inducing feeling centered on feminizing myself and embodying what I was attracted to. This was heavily fueled by porn, especially emasculation and sissy porn, which I now see really messed with my head and emasculated me. It gave me a submissive fetish when I should have been exploring a more dominant side.
I also struggled with my attraction to men. I knew I liked men but couldn't connect romantically in typical gay relationships. I started idealizing straight relationships, imagining myself as the woman in them. This let me explore my submissive side and my attraction to men without having to identify as gay. It felt like an escape.
My sense of self was very weak. I didn't have a strong foundation or a stable identity. I think for a lot of people, transition comes from this place of weakness, not strength. You're searching for something solid to hold onto, and the promise of a complete transformation is incredibly seductive. I got caught up in online communities where people constantly talked about needing to transition or they would kill themselves. That kind of black-and-white thinking is a social contagion; it makes you believe that your only two options are transition or death.
I did eventually take hormones. I thought HRT was going to turn me into this fantasy woman of my dreams. But experiencing the medical reality of it is what finally ripped the fantasy apart for me and showed me what it really was. It was only after going through that and seeing the reality that I was able to detransition. In a way, I'm glad I did it because if I had just desisted without trying HRT, I think I would have always been haunted by the "what if" and the seductive fantasy that transition would have solved everything. Actually doing it showed me it wasn't the answer.
I never had any surgery. I looked into FFS a lot, but I came to understand that it's largely a scam for most people. It doesn't change your fundamental male skull structure and bone size, which are huge factors in passing. Pictures online lie; they don't show the real results. Most trans women don't truly pass under reasonable inspection, no matter how much surgery they get.
I have some regrets about the time and mental energy I wasted, but I don't regret transitioning in the sense that it was the only way for me to truly see that it was wrong for me. It was a hard lesson I needed to learn. Now, I'm comfortable being a man. I oscillate sometimes, wishing I had more masculine attributes, but overall I'm okay with my body. I've found that as I've gotten older, into my mid-twenties, my sexuality has shifted. I feel more attracted to the masculine role in sex and have enjoyed having sex with women.
My thoughts on gender now are that for a very small minority, transition might be the only thing that makes sense, but for most people like me, it's a solution to deeper problems like weak identity, trauma, internalized homophobia, or sexual issues. Freedom means you're allowed to make choices, even self-destructive ones, and I chose that path for a while before finding my way back.
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| Early 20s | Started questioning my gender, driven by AGP fantasies and porn consumption. |
| 24 | Began taking estrogen hormones (HRT) after becoming entrenched in online trans communities. |
| 25 | Stopped HRT after realizing the medical reality did not match the transformative fantasy. |
| 25 | Detransitioned and began to accept my male identity. |
Top Comments by /u/Charming_Marketing67:
These types of infographics that lay out the real causes that trigger people to start "thinking about being trans" are helpful. Though I think they should be separated between MtF and FtM. With overlapping causes placed in both.
For example I think trauma plays a much bigger part in FtM transitions than MtFs. For MtFs its usually more about chasing euphoric fantasy, much less trauma involved.
This is THE talking point. Without the "life or death" suicide threats, the foundation of childhood trans healthcare falls apart.
In reality there are a lot more "guys walking across the tracks" than trans activists make out.
inb4 "Only .00000000005% of trans people detransition!!!!!!!! essentially no one!!!!"
So you misread my writing. I was describing how the average man or woman views them, not myself. So no, I am not dehumanizing trans people. Try to read more carefully.
My question was silly I guess. Cause I know why trans people are fragile, but I just felt like calling it out. Sometimes fragile people need to be called out and realize how ridiculous they are acting.
Yes, detrans crowd runs older, and therefore more mature. But just barely.
Transitioning young kids is gross, precisely because putting them on "puberty blockers" essentially assures that their trans identity will be cemented and they will pursue transition into adulthood. By giving them blockers you are giving them no choice, you are making the choice for them.
Puberty blockers don't give someone time to decide to not be trans, they cement the trans identity and make it impossible to backout mentally. Mentally they commit the young child to a life of tranistioning, where as if this was 1995, that child may grow to be a more centered, happier, non-trans gender non-conforming (or conforming more likely) adult, likely non-heterosexual.
But it is tricky because some individuals benefit from early transitions, and will have strong orientations that guarantee pursing sex change as an adult. But my feeling is that putting up barriers will make it so that only these individuals transition, compared to the "affirmative" care model that is doing so much destruction at the moment.
I said TRAUMA was less of a cause for MtFs. Please stop with the black and white thinking if you wish to engage with my posts. Women tend to have more trauma related to sexuality (like sexual harassment, being made to feel sexually powerless), than men. Males are punished more for acting out of their gender roles, I agree with you on that.
The point of my post was to differentiate FtM from MtF experiences, because they are different.
Most people who say they would transition sooner are just lying to reinforce the foundations of their new identity. In trans communities there is a big race to prove that you are more legitimate by claiming to have the earliest feelings possible and then having the biggest barriers to transition (to justify why it took them until age 29 to transition and shit like that)
Losing your father would be tough. But you need to be honest with yourself, and state why you are thinking about this stuff, and why you are desiring femininity or whatever it is that you are after. You are a rational individual and you should be able to work out what your motivations are and why you are having the thoughts you are having. When you understand where the motivation comes from, you can make informed decisions. You have said you are fantasizing about being a woman... well why is that? If it is sexual, I would suggest exploring your sexuality in other avenues. Not all sexual fantasy is conducive to a productive, respectable life in our society.
Based on your brief description, its likely that transition would be a very damaging thing for you to pursue and not likely to lead to any kind of long term contentment or happiness. At 22 you have your whole life ahead of you... be careful not to waste it on neuroticism.
Edit: And stop watching porn. Porn is definitely fucking people up and its emasculating a lot of guys, which is why most of them have submissive fetishes instead of dominant fetishes. It fucked me up for sure. If you can't even stop watching porn/sexual fantasy than don't kid yourself that your "identity" is legitimate or something real. Cause reality is that its more likely a sexual disease, than something worth celebrating and pursuing.
I'd say “u have to transition or you’ll kill yourself” is a big misrepresentation and a strawman, how many people told you that?
There are daily threads on trans internet spaces where people talk about themselves and frame their lives that way.
What is the difference between someone telling you "transition or kill yourself" vs. reading countless threads from people saying "I need to transition and x,y,z or I'm killing myself".....
Both are creating communities around suicide and black and white thinking.
the idea that other people would disrespect me for that makes me suicidal
I mean you live in society with everyone else. Humans have never been able to not take into consideration how their actions will be viewed and valued by other humans. Its part of life.
That is modern western society in general. In the middle east they make you stay with your family, marry you off, keep you behind guard rails that are determined by social mores.
In the modern West, you are free to "be yourself", and some will choose a path of self destruction. That is kind of the essence of freedom. The freedom to destroy yourself
You have never seen an example of a trans person making statements in trans communities about wanting to kill themselves for x,y,z reason?
What's bad with creating communities around suicide?
Because suicide is a social contagion. If you think and talk about suicide all the time you are more likely to commit suicide. Also the concept of suicide can be used as a coping mechanism to generate sympathy, which is a very self-destructive way to go through life.
genuinely are affected by someone saying "I need to transition and x,y,z or I'm killing myself", you more likely have different mental problems than just gender dysphoria.
Now you are just saying ignorant things ;). People are ALWAYS affected by the communities they participate in. This is basic human nature and psychology.