This story is from the comments by /u/Chrysalis420 that are listed below, summarised with AI.
User Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags indicating it is a bot or a bad-faith actor.
The user's history shows:
- Personal, nuanced, and evolving experiences with gender identity, desisting, trauma, and religion.
- Consistent internal logic across years of comments, detailing a specific journey from identifying as non-binary to desisting.
- Emotional depth and self-reflection that is complex and human, not scripted.
- Acknowledgment of their own past mindset and how it changed, which is common for genuine detransitioners/desisters.
The passion and criticism towards the trans community and healthcare are consistent with the genuine anger and trauma many in the detrans community express.
About me
I started questioning my gender as a teenager on Tumblr, feeling like an awkward tomboy who didn't fit in with other girls. I thought identifying as nonbinary was the answer, but it was really an escape from my internalized misogyny and trauma. My dysphoria completely vanished after a religious conversion, which was a profound shift for me. Now, I'm learning to embrace being a woman through therapy and fitness, which helps me feel stronger. I regret that my experience might have influenced a friend and that other causes for dysphoria, like autism, are often ignored.
My detransition story
My whole journey with gender started online, mostly on Tumblr. I was a teenager, around 16 or 17, when I first started questioning. I never felt like I fit in with other girls. I was a tomboyish, autistic girl who was more into nerdy special interests than anything considered feminine. I felt awkward and out of place, and I started to believe that being female was the "stupider" or more "passive" sex, that a woman was only worth something if she was beautiful. Since I was a chubby, awkward girl, I felt worth less than an ugly man. I envied men for seeming to express their interests freely and being accepted for them.
I came across the concept of nonbinary genders online and it felt like a revelation. I thought, "I don't have to be either gender." It felt like a way to distance myself from this thing I felt I could never be—a "real" woman. Identifying as nonbinary became a form of escapism for me. It was a way to find a temporary meaning and relieve my suffering, something to fill a void. There was also a certain glamour to it, identifying as something that sounded cool and spectacular. I told a few friends online and a couple in real life, but I was mostly closeted, especially with my family. I only came out to my irl friends after I was already an adult. I never told my family; my mom thought it was "the voices" telling me when I tried to mention it once while dissociated, so I never brought it up again.
A lot of my dysphoria really boiled down to a generalized hatred of my body, not just specific parts. I hated being female. I now see it was tied to a lot of complex trauma and internalized misogyny. I also have OCD and deal with a lot of ruminating thoughts, which didn't help. My exposure to the trans community was through Tumblr, and while the individuals I met were fine, the overall mindset was toxic. There was this idea that every doubt was internalized transphobia. After I stopped identifying as nonbinary, some people told me I just had internalized transphobia, which really messed with my head because I already second-guess myself a lot.
I never physically transitioned. No hormones, no surgery. It was all social and psychological for me. I dressed differently and used different pronouns with a small group of people. Looking back, I'm aware it was still my choice, but I'm not sure how much of it was solely my fault. I was influenced heavily by what I saw online.
What finally ended it for me was converting to Christianity. It wasn't something I read in the Bible; it just happened when I was born again. My dysphoria just... went away. Poof. I didn't feel nonbinary anymore; I felt like a woman. It was a complete shift for me. I know that's not everyone's experience, but it was mine.
Now, I'm trying to reintegrate into womanhood in a way that feels comfortable for me. I still deal with trauma and sometimes feel uncomfortable with my body, but I'm in therapy for that. I focus on other things, like working out and martial arts, which has helped me feel stronger and more connected to my body. I lost a lot of weight and feel happier, but I still sometimes want to hide myself and wear androgynous clothing.
I do have regrets about my social transition. I feel like I was naive and convinced by my own BS. I even feel guilty because, after I stopped identifying as nonbinary, one of my friends who I had come out to told me they were questioning, and I felt sad, like I might have influenced them. I think a big problem is that people aren't given information about other causes of dysphoria, like trauma or autism, and any doubt is just reaffirmed as being trans.
My thoughts on gender now are that it's not as simple as the online communities make it out to be. I think a lot of the "trans science" is pseudoscience that ignores how sex is interwoven into our DNA and biological programming. I believe my experience was less about being a different gender and more about trauma, internalized hatred, and a search for meaning.
| Age | Year | Event |
|---|---|---|
| 16-17 | ~2015-2016 | Started questioning gender, influenced by online communities like Tumblr. Identified as nonbinary. |
| 18 | ~2017 | Came out to a few close friends as nonbinary, but remained closeted to family. |
| 22 | 2021 | Stopped identifying as nonbinary. Began to understand my feelings as rooted in trauma and internalized misogyny. |
| 22 | 2021 | Converted to Christianity; my gender dysphoria disappeared shortly after. |
| 22-23 | 2021-2022 | Started therapy for trauma and began focusing on fitness (working out, martial arts) to feel more comfortable in my body. |
Top Reddit Comments by /u/Chrysalis420:
I agree but I feel like a lot of information isn't put there. Such as how people are not given information about other causes of dysphoria, how trans people will reaffirm that you're trans if you doubt yourself for any reason, how detrans adults usually end up transitioning as kids and detransitioning later as adults, etc.
The title also says "There's nobody to blame" but then says its the detransitioner's responsibility, so I'm not sure what OP is actually trying to say? I agree there's no one person to blame, sometimes in life there's no one person to blame. Sometimes multiple people are to blame, sometimes there's just too many factors involved. It's like saying who's to blame for having a drug addiction.
Honestly that's really messed up. Transition isn't like some light switch you can flick on and off. It's serious and it makes me sick that people were mad at you for just giving an honest and nuanced answer that was neither pushing nor discouraging transition.
I honestly feel bad for that person because if they treated you that way, they're probably going him the same way if he doubts transition.
I can't really help but be angry at this. This is the natural result of introducing pseudoscience into the field of actual science. And yes, this IS pseudoscience, with believing in trans brains existing, or thinking that trans kids must transition and they'll be a perfect biological male/female as if human bodies were just puzzle blocks, etc. And talking with most trans advocates I know the vast majority of them don't actually have a good grasp of how human bodies work and are instead deluded by their ideals or how bodies should work.
My main hope is that it'll eventually reach a breaking point where this madness will eventually stop and the kids and families affected will eventually get some type of compensation.
Yeah after I told people I was no longer nonbinary, I've had people say I just had internalized transphobia. Which sucks because I deal with second guessing myself a lot. I've even heard someone say that detrans people only exist because of internalized transphobia (although the discussion was not about me). I've had some trans people accept me though.
>I do see a doctor and a therapist for my mental health issues however i would prefer not to bring this topic up to them as it is emberassing to me.
bring it up to a therapist, they're not going to care if it's embarrassing.
i'm not sure what country you live in so i can't really offer more advice. i think too many people overlook that the country or area you live in might affect the care you get.
many years before gender ideology or even before i identified as nonbinary i felt i didn't know what it was to be a woman. i never fit in with other girl groups, adults tried to push me into gender roles i didn't fit into. only as an adult can i feel even remotely okay presenting as a woman because i'm not defenseless.
When I converted, my dysphoria went away. It wasn't something I read in the Bible that convinced me or anything, it just... went away when I was born again. Poof, I don't feel nonbinary anymore, I feel like a woman.
This isn't necessarily something that happens with all detrans Christians from what I'm aware of, it's just what happened with me.
That's not what eugenics is, by definition eugenics is intentional.
Also, last i checked transitioning was relatively expensive. it probably varies from place to place but i don't believe most who do are poor. (my only disclaimer is that i haven't looked into transitioning in years so it might be slightly more affordable in some places by now)
Men tend to be written better than women in general. There tends to be more men in casts, so there are more men with diverse sets of personalities, while with less women characters, there's less different personalities between them. In worst case scenarios, they tend to be reduced down to "the woman" character. (The exception to this is media catered to women and girls that generally have female casts, ex: My Little Pony) It tends to be worse if you're a minority, and even worse yet if you're a sexual minority... It's only recently that gay characters were "allowed" in more family friendly media, and even then they're generally just tokenized or put in to check off a checklist.
Straight women in particular feel like these alien creatures to me, and that's just because I'm gay
Hahaha... I'm bi but I can kinda get this. Women feel like aliens to me, and I always related more to men. Unfortunately that may have more to do with being autistic, considering how I tend to be awkward around both genders.
I'm glad that the posts related to the school shooting were removed, but I can't help but feel betrayed... I don't believe in "safe spaces" of the sort, especially not on a popular public subreddit that's gotten media coverage, but I can't help but feel gross seeing posts how transitioning can lead to school shootings, and seeing people agreeing with them. I feel like I've been losing faith in the subreddit as a place for detransitioners for a long time now. It feels more like a place for people to seek out detransitoners to point fingers at trans people rather than an actual place for detransitioners.