This story is from the comments by /u/ClydeFallon that are listed below, summarised with AI.
User Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account "ClydeFallon" appears to be authentic. There are no serious red flags indicating it is a bot or an inauthentic actor.
The comments display a highly specific, emotionally raw, and internally consistent narrative of a young person who medically transitioned as a teenager and is now deeply regretful. The user describes a coherent personal history (starting T at 15, top surgery at 17), ongoing mental health struggles (OCD, depression, suicidal ideation), and the complex process of detransition (voice training, researching breast reconstruction, hormone changes). The language is emotionally volatile, repetitive, and deeply personal, which is consistent with the intense grief and trauma associated with this experience. The account also shows a natural progression of interacting with a support community, from seeking help to eventually offering it to others, which is not typical of inauthentic accounts.
About me
I started socially transitioning at 14 and was on testosterone by 15, believing it would fix my depression and OCD. My doctors and therapists rushed me through, assuring my mom and me it was the only path, without ever addressing my underlying mental health. I had top surgery at 17 and was immediately crushed by regret, realizing I had destroyed my natural female body. I am now filled with anger at the medical professionals who failed me and am struggling to accept my irreversible changes. I'm trying to move forward with voice training and new medication, but at 17, I feel my life was stolen before it began.
My detransition story
My journey with transition and detransition has been the hardest thing I've ever gone through. I started when I was just a kid, and now, at 17, I feel like I destroyed my life before it even really began.
I was what people call a "poster trans child." From a very young age, I wanted to be a boy. I had short hair, only wore boy clothes, all my friends were guys, and I had masculine hobbies. Before I even knew what the word "trans" was, I remember wanting to be a boy. I think a lot of this came from growing up in a world with strict gender roles. I never saw any strong, masculine female role models on TV; all the girls were super feminine. I wanted to be treated like my male friends, and when I wasn't, it made me feel like I needed to be a boy to get that acceptance. I now believe a lot of my feelings were tied to internalized issues with how society sees women.
I was also struggling with a lot of mental health problems. I have OCD, which makes me overthink everything, and I’ve dealt with deep depression and anxiety for years. I even had to go to a mental health hospital because my OCD got so bad I couldn't go to school. When I brought up my feelings about gender to a therapist at 14, they immediately affirmed me and said transitioning was the right path. They even told me that my OCD was probably caused by not being able to transition, and that hormones and surgery would make it better. My mom was hesitant at first—when I was 9 or 10, she thought it was just a phase—but the doctors made her feel like she had failed me by not letting me transition sooner. They made it seem like it was either have a dead child or a trans child. She trusted them, and so did I.
I started testosterone when I was 15. I thought it was going to fix all my problems. I believed I would finally be happy. But it didn't fix my OCD or my depression. I kept wanting more changes, chasing something I could never actually catch. I realized I would never be a biological male, and that truth started to eat away at me.
At 17, I had top surgery. It felt like the final step, but almost immediately after, I was hit with a crushing wave of regret. I realized I had made a horrible mistake. I didn't hate my breasts because they were wrong; I think I just wanted them gone so I would be seen as male. The surgery is my biggest regret. I would give anything to undo it. My voice deepened, I grew facial hair, and I have a visible Adam's apple now. I feel like I’ve lost the feminine face and body I once had.
Detransitioning has been even harder than transitioning. I am filled with so much anger—at the doctors and therapists who rushed me through this without ever questioning me, without showing me stories of people who detransitioned, without considering my serious mental health history. I'm angry at myself for not listening to that doubt in the back of my mind. I feel deeply betrayed.
Now, I can't do the things I used to love. I can't watch movies or play video games because everything reminds me of my past and gives me painful flashbacks. I can't even look at other girls without feeling intense jealousy that they have their natural bodies and don't have to think about this stuff. I struggle with an eating disorder and I sleep all the time just to escape my thoughts. I feel unlovable and worry that my dating pool is now tiny. I think about suicide every single day. The only reason I'm still here is because of my mom. I love her so much, and I see how much she blames herself, even though it’s not her fault.
I’ve started voice training, and it’s helping a little. My voice will never be what it was, but I’m learning to sound female again. I’m also on a low dose of Zoloft and waiting to get into a mental health clinic, but it’s a struggle to trust any medical professional after what happened. I’ve looked into breast reconstruction surgery, but it’s not the same as having my natural body back, and I’m scared of more surgeries.
I don't regret transitioning because I learned a hard lesson, but I deeply regret the irreversible changes I made to my body. My hope now is that by sharing my story, I can help someone else avoid making the same mistake I did. I’m trying to accept that this is my life now, but at 17, it feels like an impossible fight.
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 3-4 | Wanted short hair, boy clothes, and had mostly male friends. |
| 9-10 | Strong desire to be a boy; mom thought it was a phase. |
| 12 | Started puberty. |
| 14 | Socially transitioned; therapists immediately affirmed me. |
| 15 | Started testosterone. |
| 17 | Had top surgery; shortly after, realized it was a mistake and stopped testosterone. |
| 17 | Began the process of detransitioning. |
Top Reddit Comments by /u/ClydeFallon:
I also signed papers that mean I’m included in some study but I’m pretty sure they don’t put me in as a detrans person now. So I’m unsure how real these studies can be. So many detrans people just ghost their clinics because they have trauma associated with them and don’t want to go back to them. Also!! It takes time for one to realise transition was a mistake, so half a decade doesn’t necessarily mean anything. They could still decide it was a mistake even 10 years later. I also believe that a lot of trans suicide deaths also include detrans deaths that are marked as trans deaths. So idk 🤷🏻♀️.
I’m with you. Actually I told my therapist how much I wanted to be a boy when I was 9-10 years old and I had short hair and only wanted to wear boy clothes. My therapist wanted me to socially transition and I guess not soon after would have got me to go on hormone blockers too, but my mom though it was just a phase and we didn’t do that. When I came out with 14 as trans I blamed my mom for not letting me transition earlier and how she could have saved me from so much suffering. Doctors told her too that she should have let me have transitioned and that is is the right thing to let me do that now. She blamed herself and believed those doctors and so I got on testosterone with 15 and had top surgery with 17. Worst mistake of my life. I’m highly depressive now and even suicidal. I don’t know enough about all this to say that everyone is gonna feel the same as me one day and regret transitioning, but I don’t think it’s acceptable to let people who can’t consent take hormones and have healthy body parts cut off. I was 15 and the doctors knew about my mental health history with bad ocd and me even going to a mental hospital cause I couldn’t go to school because of it. I thought that everything is gonna get better when I get on t and when I have top surgery and I believe me having this mindset should have excluded me from being treated with hormones etc. even though I think my age should have as well. In no way do I blame my mom for all this. She was trusted those doctors and documentaries the same as I did and that plus her being blamed for her decisions in the past made her think it’s the right thing to do. Who I do blame is the doctors who we trusted. The therapists who didn’t question me at all. Who made me think almost everything is gonna get better after testosterone and top surgery and who told me that my ocd was caused by not being able to transition. The clinic that let me transition now doesn’t even care much about me being suicidal about this. They send me to other people who don’t know sh*t about trans or detrans people. I want my breast back and my old voice. I don’t want my prominent Adam’s apple and I don’t want the facial hair I have. I want my old body back!
Hey sadly I can’t help you because I myself I’m in almost exactly the same position as you. The only think I can do is tell you that you’re not alone in this. This means you don’t have to fight alone we can fight together and get back our happiness that was taken from us.
I don’t get why it’s a weird reply? OP was talking about terfs and mentioned that their views about porn and sex work are according to him too extreme. EmpireStateAngst answered why she disagrees with him and if he brought up that topic of sex works and Apperantly thinks it’s harmless or that terfs are wrong for being against it, why is EmpireStates answer unjustified? It’s again a man just casually making sex work and porn seem harmless when it’s not and we are not allowed to talk about that?
Pls pls pls don’t do this. You are 17. Give yourself time. If you are already doubting just a little bit that means something and don’t decide such a thing without therapy, maybe you have other problems that make you think you want to transition. Pls wait at least till 21. I took t with 15 and I regret it so much. Yes maybe not everyone will have the same regret as I did, but at least know that there is the risk of regret, I though I would never regret it and here I am. I wish you the very very best!
I wish my therapists would have questioned me more and not just immediately affirmed me. I wished my therapist wouldn’t have told me that transitioning is to some degree curing my ocd. I wish he would have informed me of all the struggles transitioning brings and not acted all excited to go this journey with me. He was the therapist, he shouldn’t be excited to have a patient who transitions.
Hey thanks for taking the time. My mom is awesome and I know she loves me and I’m trying this for her. Without her I would be dead already. Im also so so thankful for this community. Before I realised what mistake I had done I didn’t knew how many detrans people there are. I thought there might be less then 100 to be honest. Maybe a thousand, but alone this sub has more then 30 thousand members.
What you said about a passion. You are right but the thing is and that is probably another thing that makes me so depressed is that I love skateboarding but due to an injury I can’t skate right now and will probably still have to wait at least another 2 months before I can try to lightly start again and so that’s another really depressing thing for me. And all the other things that used to be fun now sadly aren’t anymore. Maybe I need to find a new hobby. I’m gonna try. Thanks again for taking the time. It really means a lot to me.
I didnt realise I wasn’t trans. I was a poster trans child. Had early onset dyshporia etc. If I had a button to turn be a biological male I’d click it but I’ll never be a biological male and I realised how I lied to myself and hurt my body in the process. So for me it was realising there are better ways to deal with my problem and transionining isn’t the way
I feel you so so much. Just know you are not alone in this. We can share each of our strengths and make it somehow. Im so sorry you too are going through this 😔. I wish you the best and if you ever need someone to vent to or anything. My dms are open
Same same same. Had too surgery with 17 and if the doctors really thought I was sane enough for that decision then they shouldn’t be docotrs and if they knew I wasn’t sane and did it anyway, they shouldn’t be docotrs either. I didn’t lie to get it but even if someone lied, therapists and psychologists are taught to realise that a patient is lying. If you are mentally ill then you aren’t thinking straight