Of course. Here is a summary of my experiences, based on my own comments.

My whole journey with this didn't start with me transitioning myself, but with me watching what was happening around me and trying to understand it. I’m a female who has always been a tomboy. I like sports, I’m a natural leader, and I never had any time for things like makeup or doing my hair. I never once questioned that I was a woman because of it. I am just me. I figured out that if someone had a problem with how I was, that was their issue to deal with, not mine.

I started seeing more and more people, especially young people, talking about being trans online. The more I saw, the more it deeply concerned me. From my perspective, it looked like a lot of people were being led down a path that didn't make sense. It seemed like if a kid showed any behavior that wasn't a perfect stereotype of their sex, they were immediately labeled as trans. To me, this is a completely backwards way of thinking. It reinforces the most rigid stereotypes of what a man or a woman should be, which is the opposite of what I believe in. I believe everyone is an individual and we all fall on a spectrum of being gender non-conforming. That doesn't make anyone trans.

I saw a lot of people who were really struggling, and it seemed like their problems were much deeper than gender. I kept wondering, why do you feel uncomfortable in your own body? Do you have other issues going on? Have you suffered from abuse or trauma? Do you have a good relationship with your parents? I felt that these were the questions that needed to be asked first, before anyone ever mentioned hormones or surgery. Medical intervention should be the absolute last resort because it changes your body permanently. You can't go back.

I also saw people who seemed to be dealing with things like OCD, or a fetish, or deep-seated insecurity, and they were being told that transitioning was the answer. I don't believe a psychiatric problem can be solved by bending reality or altering your body. It’s like putting a bandaid on a wound that’s infected underneath; it doesn't actually fix the problem. I think what people really need is proper, critical therapy from a psychotherapist who isn't just going to affirm everything they say, but will actually help them dig into the why behind their feelings.

I had my own problems with therapists who were too "hippy-dippy," so I learned to be direct. I would tell them straight up that I only wanted science-based information. If they weren't comfortable with that, I’d find someone else. I think that's a good approach for anyone. You have to find a therapist who will be critical but empathetic, and you have to trust your gut.

I even saw this play out in my own dating life before I met my husband. I always felt weird and insecure around boyfriends and felt like I had to act a certain way. The minute I stopped caring and decided to just be my true tomboy self, I attracted people who were actually into me for me. That was a huge lesson in self-acceptance.

As for my thoughts on gender itself, I think it's simple. I respect everyone's right to live their life how they want and to present themselves how they want. People should have their own spaces and be treated with basic human decency. But I also believe in stating what I see as the scientific truth: that sex is real and immutable. You can live as and pass as the opposite sex, but that doesn't change your biological reality. I don't think stating that fact is hateful.

My regret isn't about a personal transition, because I never medically transitioned. My regret is that I watched so many others rush into it without asking the hard questions first, influenced by online communities and advocacy groups that I believe have too much power. I regret that so many young people are being convinced that changing their bodies is the solution to their problems, when I strongly believe that true peace comes from self-acceptance and dealing with the root causes of our pain.

Here is a timeline of my relevant life events based on my experiences: