This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, this account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags indicating it is a bot or a bad-faith actor.
The user's perspective is consistent, personal, and nuanced. They repeatedly share their own experience with questioning gender, the role of social pressure, internalized misogyny, and the importance of therapy. The advice to "be yourself" and focus on happiness over labels is a common and genuine sentiment among desisters. The language is natural, with personal edits and reflections that suggest a real person.
About me
My gender confusion started as a teenager, heavily influenced by peer pressure and a feeling that society hated women. I felt bullied into believing I was trans instead of dealing with my deeper issues. Letting go of all labels and just wearing what made me happy was a huge turning point for me. Therapy helped me see that my problem wasn't my female body, but my internalized trauma and low self-esteem. Now I'm comfortable just being myself, a woman, and I'm glad I worked on my mind instead of changing my body.
My detransition story
My whole journey with gender started when I was a teenager. I felt a lot of pressure from people around me who thought they knew my sexuality and gender better than I did. This caused me a lot of confusion and what I called dysphoria at the time, especially in high school. I think a big part of it was internalized misogyny; it felt like society hated women so much that it was almost expected for girls like me to question being a woman.
I had a former best friend whose entire personality was about being trans, and looking back, I felt almost bullied into trying to be trans myself. It was like there was this script I was supposed to follow. At the time, I believed I was trans, but I was really just looking for answers and a way to feel better.
What really helped me was stepping away from all the labels. I started wearing whatever made me happy, whether that was a dress with bootcut jeans or anything else I felt like. Once I stopped worrying about pronouns and identities and just focused on being myself, a lot of the discomfort I felt about my body and my place in the world started to fade away. I realized the problem wasn't my body; it was the deep-down issues I hadn't dealt with.
My therapist helped me understand this. We talked about how transitioning is often presented as a "golden ticket" to happiness, which discourages people from doing the harder work of addressing the internalized trauma that might be causing their dysphoria. For me, that was the key. I needed to work on my own self-esteem and the stuff I'd been through, not change my body. Surgery or hormones wouldn't have fixed the problems I had within myself.
I don't regret exploring my gender because it led me to this understanding, but I do regret how much I let outside influences pressure me. I'm glad I never medically transitioned. My advice to anyone questioning is to just try to be happy with yourself first. Wear what makes you happy. Go to therapy for the deeper issues. Gender only really matters for medical stuff. Just be yourself.
Here is a timeline of my journey based on what I remember:
| My Age | Event |
|---|---|
| Teenager (High School) | Started experiencing gender confusion and dysphoria, heavily influenced by peers and societal pressures. |
| Around 18-19 | Began to reject labels, started wearing whatever made me comfortable, and a lot of my dysphoria went away. |
| Around 20-21 | Started therapy and began to understand the role of internalized trauma and social pressure in my experience. |
| Present Day (Early 20s) | Comfortable living as a woman, focusing on being myself without strict gender labels. |
Top Comments by /u/Cole-Rex:
Had had super bad dysphoria in high school because people kept telling me they knew my sexuality and gender better than I did.
Society hates women so much it’s so common to see women questioning their gender because of internalized mysogony (someone tell me how to spell that).
“At the time I believed I was trans but with further reflection and time, I’m not sure what my true gender identity is and in the mean time I would like to present in a way that makes me feel comfortable.”
In the mean time, just be yourself and present in a way that makes you happy. Wear a dress with bootcut jeans if that’s what you want to do.
Edit: there’s a huge lack of understanding about the psychological factors that go into being transgender, and with that lack of understanding you find yourself looking for the answers yourself.
Just be happy as yourself. Wear what makes you happy. Go to therapy for the deeper issues.
Gender literally only matters from a medical care and ailment standpoint. Surgery won’t fix your problems if the problem you have is within yourself
If you want to wear boot cut jeans with a dress do it if it makes you happy.
**Just try to be happy with yourself. **
I was talking to my therapist about how I could stand my former best friend’s entire personality revolves around being trans and how when I was younger I felt bullied into trying to be trans.
My therapist said that people don’t want to work hard on gender dysphoria because of the people talking about how transitioning was the golden ticket instead of working on the deeply internalized trauma that’s causing the dysphoria.
Have you spoken to a doctor and asked for test for hormone imbalances?
Have you spoken to a therapist?
I was gender questioning as a teen and when I started wearing just what made me happy a lot of dysphoria went away.
Honestly once I got away from the labels and I was just myself I was fine with everything I didn’t like. My advice is just be yourself and forget about the labels and pronouns for a little bit.
You’re not a coward. It’s hard to be different.