This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or inauthentic.
The user self-identifies as a desister (socially detransitioned but did not medically transition) and provides highly specific, emotionally charged, and consistent personal anecdotes about their experience with gender exploration, social pressure, therapy, and the psychological impact. The writing style is nuanced, self-reflective, and contains human-like imperfections, which strongly indicates a real person sharing their genuine perspective.
About me
I was a tomboy who felt crushed by the pressure to be feminine, and my mental health struggles made me believe my discomfort meant I wasn't a woman. During a severe psychotic episode, I became convinced I was a trans man and forced my family to accept it. Waking up from that was devastating, but I had immediate clarity that I was, and always had been, a woman. My so-called friends abandoned me when I detransitioned, proving they cared more about an ideology than my well-being. Now I'm healing from the trauma, learning to accept myself as a masculine woman, and deeply regret ever leaving my true self behind.
My detransition story
My whole journey with gender has been confusing and painful, and it’s taken me a long time to understand what happened. Looking back, I see that my experience was heavily influenced by my mental health and the people around me.
It all started when I began to feel uncomfortable with the expectations placed on me as a woman. I’ve always been a tomboy, and I hated the pressure to be feminine. I hated having to wear makeup or dress up to be considered "adequate." I went through a very difficult time during my female puberty; I hated my breasts and menstruating. I felt envious of my three brothers, who seemed to have it so much easier and were automatically given more respect. I developed a lot of internalized misogyny and resentment.
I found a sense of belonging online, watching non-binary and trans male creators. They made it seem like you could be anyone, and that felt incredibly freeing at the time. I started to believe that my discomfort with being a woman meant I wasn't one. I began to think I might be trans. This was all happening while I was struggling with serious mental health issues, including depression, anxiety, and low self-esteem. I was later diagnosed with OCD, and a gender therapist I consulted implied that what I experienced was specifically Trans OCD (TOCD), where you become obsessed with questioning your gender.
The friends I had at the time, who were very liberal and trans-identified, reinforced this idea. They pointed out my masculine traits and told me I had "transmasc qualities." When I expressed doubts, they were dismissed. I remember one friend asking me, "Have you ever experienced joy as a woman?" and when I tried to answer, she told me my answer "wasn't good enough" and that was a reason not to desist. I felt pressured and eventually, I socially came out as trans. I even chose a new, gender-neutral name that used the same letters as my birth name because, deep down, I didn't want to forget who I really was.
The turning point was a severe psychotic episode. During this breakdown, I had spiritual delusions and became completely convinced I was a trans man. I told my family I was going to have full surgery and grow male anatomy, and I forced them to use my chosen name. Waking up from that psychosis was one of the most painful experiences of my life. The clarity was immediate: I knew without a doubt that I was a woman. I felt profound regret and embarrassment for what I had put myself and my family through.
When I told my trans-identified friends that I was wrong and that my trans identity was a delusion, their reaction was devastating. They had a hard time accepting it. When I said I could not move forward with medical intervention like testosterone, one told me I was at a stage where I should "play around with it." They spammed my phone, blamed my family, and insisted that "not transitioning for survival does not make me any less trans." This broke my heart. I realized that these friends, whom I had trusted with my life, were more invested in me being trans than in me being myself. I felt like an experiment.
I am now what’s called a desister. I never took hormones or had any surgeries. I reverted to my birth name and am working on accepting myself as a cisgender, lesbian woman. I’ve been in detrans therapy for two years to process the trauma of that entire period. To help reconnect with my femininity, I’ve done small things like growing out and dyeing my hair, doing my nails, and wearing comfortable feminine accessories. I listen to songs like "Just a Girl" by No Doubt to remind myself of my identity.
I do have regrets. I deeply regret the social transition. I regret announcing anything at all and wish I had just lived my life quietly without labels. It caused me to drop out of my studies and damaged relationships. I feel anger and bitterness toward the people who encouraged me down a path that wasn't right for me, and I'm sad about the stability I lost. I don't believe being trans is a mental illness for everyone, but for me, it was a symptom of my own psychosis and OCD. I now believe that being yourself is the most important thing you can be in a world that tells you you can be anything.
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| Childhood/Teens | Felt like a tomboy, hated pressure to be feminine, had a difficult female puberty, felt envy toward males. |
| Early 20s | Discovered trans/non-binary communities online, felt a sense of belonging. Friends began suggesting I might be trans. |
| 24 | Socially came out as trans during a severe psychotic episode, chose a new name, insisted family use it. |
| 24 | Woke up from psychosis with clarity that I was a woman. Reverted to birth name. |
| 24-26 | Underwent detrans therapy to process the trauma. Ended friendships that were not supportive of my desistance. |
| 26 (Present) | Living as a desisted female, working on self-acceptance as a masculine woman and lesbian. |
Top Comments by /u/CollarNo7911:
I agree the rates will continue to increase as most people (at least in my life - hyper liberals) don't make an effort to pushback or question (which can be healthy - regarding any decision). They listen with their hearts and not always their brains- and I'm guilty of it.
I don't know exactly what the key is to making sure the people who will benefit the most from this care can get access to it and those who won't do not get access, but something needs to change to make that the case.
Other people positively pushing ideas around when you express a high degree of doubt is something I think should cease to happen. Creating dialogue about where your doubts are coming from and making room for conversation about the alternatives instead of promoting "to be changed is to be loved" and not allowing room for any other discourse is also important.
Absolutely! I was once dubbed pre-everything by a trans-identified individual when the larger part of me knew I was cis, I was constantly told I embedded transmasc qualities when I don't resonate with transmasculinity but rather with tomboy culture and cis lesbianism.
A lot of these subliminal messages led me to believe things about myself that weren't true and eventually I myself "came out" as trans to my family and friends.
I feel very misled, repulsed by my own inability to advocate for my authentic identity, and grieve and mourn the stability I once carried as a cis lesbian.
Gender ideology messed with my brain, although I desisted I ultimately ended up feeling like I tried to violate my body, erase my womanhood and the happy "tomboy" girl I grew up being and it made me feel so disgusted by my own self.
I used to look up to nonbinary lesbians, trans males, and trans nonbinary people of the internet. They made it feel like you could be anyone and anything and sometimes it feel freeing. But in a world where you could be anyone and anything, being yourself is the most important person to be and that's what I've learned through exploring my gender identity.
Moreover, when I watch those videos now, I wonder if those who chose not to desist ever feel the way I do - which is self critical and hateful toward decisions made/almost made. I wonder if they have no choice but to defend their choices whether or not it truly made them happy or not or whether they actually regret it.
I'm sure many people would have supported all the decisions I could have made about my body. Not enough people questioned or tried to pushback- because even the slightest bit of pushback would have allowed me to rethink/ reprocess myself and admit that I was making a mistake.
Of course I have resentment, naturally. But I try not to let it get to me because it won't do me any good. I hate the rabbit hole that gender questioning can lead you to, and if you express doubts, you're sometimes told (at least by hyper liberals) that your doubts are futile when in actuality they're very important to your decision making. I turned to the wrong people for advice about my questioning and it ultimately blew up in my face and mentally crippled me. I solemnly regret my queerness and wish I wasn't born any form of rainbow flavored human- which I know, is a sad thing to admit.
Seeing more and more of these posts helps me reconcile with myself and my life. Like it's okay to move in any direction, as long as it's the one you want to choose and feel happy and safe doing it.
Thank you so much for posting, y'all the real MVPS.
You look amazing! <3
TOCD (trans OCD) is something that is very real - which can bleed into the idea of social contagion in a sense. I won't get rambly here but there are some people who legitimately need to get treated for their TOCD by clinical experts, some may have it not realize it, never get treated and move forward in their pseudo trans identities.
I'll tell you now that was an insult likely from projection of this individuals own insecurities. Don't let the hate stop you from being the beautiful human that you are. ✨️ You don't need to post any pictures here, you're beautiful when you believe you are because beauty is subjective. Rise above any hate anyone throws at you and be the best you that you can be.
Thank you for your comment. When I found out that a child (i.e., Jazz Jennings) had SRS as a minor - I was mindblown because every ally/activist I had ever heard about said children were not having those surgeries. It really started to mess with my ability to be as strong of an ally as I used to be. To compromise, I decided to become an ally to all - trans detrans and desisted people. Detrans people do their best to be allies with trans communities (usually) but trans people rarely speak out and protect detrans people - once I realized that reality, I was heartbroken, appalled and disappointed which adds to my struggle to be an effective ally but I do my best.
I said these words to my therapist "I thought I was supposed to become a man" and I heard him typing his keys on his keyboard quickly..... and he asked did you change your mind? And I said "yes , I don't want anything of THAT" ("THAT" refers to the effects of testosterone).
But I was "out" to all my friends and family and wanted to hide my face from the entire world.
I am now in detrans therapy to process the trauma that was being trans-identified, even just socially.
Hey, I actually watched the same video and felt my heart sink when the person commented what you quoted to said detrans individual, I've followed their story just a bit after a number of trans individuals that I used to look up to (but no longer do) blew up their story and accused them of being transphobic to which I began seeing the obvious issues within that community. I get that a marginalized community will band together at all costs to protect themselves from obvious hate, discrimination, etc, but it is quite the most hypocritical thing to turn on a detrans individual who are still very much a marginalized community that most people aren't aware of due to them being silenced which has a lot to do with fear - that's just not okay. Trans individuals get to talk about their experiences when and if they want to, detrans individuals have every right to do the same and to be respected at the same rates any human does - trans or not.
I had a heap of regret from simply being socially trans and wanted so badly to walk it back (I came out during a psychotic episode so it was fully out of my control) and waking up from said episode was the most painful thing I ever had to do outside of a separate traumatic event.
It was so sad for me to tell my tiny trans circle that my identity was fully a delusion and they had a hard time accepting that it was. When I told them I could not move forward with medical intervention they insisted I was at some stage where I could "play around with it" It broke my heart. I broke my heart. Both trans and cis people have tried to tell me who I am and what I should or shouldn't do with my own body and nothing has been more devastating to me.
I can see how even I as a mentally unstable adult could misuse and misinterpret my feelings as a trans identity and how an impressionable teen could easily do the same thing.
For a long time I thought I owed the trans community some type of formal apology for having mental health issues and at some point I just grew aggravated with myself and my walking on eggshells mentality when it came to trans folk because in the same way that I won't ask other lesbians if it's OK to date a man (I'm formerly lesbian identified) I shouldn't ask gender variant folk if it's OK to exist as my natal sex yet I was low enough in self esteem to have done so.
This event of questioning cost me way too much in my life and caused me pain for literally no reason and if I want to be angry about how I was quickly affirmed of a literal delusion I should be able to be.
This describes me so well. I did my best to be gc growing up but there was still something about me as a girl with inherit masculine energy/mannerisms that made me feel insecure and was obvious to many people around me. Masculinity was almost prescribed to me because I wasn't as feminine as other girls so I was easily ostracized from them and so many of them dated boys, enjoyed it, and like you mentioned, enjoyed their objectifications which repulsed me to an overwhelming degree. I also struggled to enjoy being feminine (hated makeup/doing my hair/etc) and had such an awful experience with my estrogenic puberty that I grew unbelievably envious of anyone who didn't need to menstruate/grow breasts, didn't need to look "pretty" at formal events to be seen as adequate/normal/etc. It was all so difficult for me that discovering nonbinary/trans people felt like I had found a home (for awhile) until I remembered who I was/am. I am an uncomfortable woman I am a masculine woman, and there's no wrong or right way to be a woman. I am cis, and I'm okay with that now.
What's more is that I have 3 siblings (all male) who got to do the bare minimum in so many different aspects and easily earned respect from others and were able to speak in derogatory ways toward women without any repercussions. They were not subject to being treated like a doll by our maternal parent the way I was and I grew bitter, envious, & resentful. Of course I have internalized misogyny and I hate men and I can't believe I ever (even at a social level) identified as one. Easily the biggest regret of my life.