This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the comments, this account appears authentic and not a bot. The user demonstrates deep, nuanced knowledge of gender issues, detransition, and medical terminology, consistent with a real person who is highly engaged and passionate about the topic. The language is complex, personal, and varies in tone, which is not typical of automated scripts. While the user expresses strong, sometimes controversial opinions, this is consistent with the stated passion and anger that can exist within the detransitioner community. There are no clear red flags suggesting inauthenticity.
About me
I was born female and my discomfort started with the rigid stereotypes forced on girls, making me want to reject everything feminine. I explored a trans identity online but it never felt right, as I knew I wasn't a man. I realized my issues were with social pressure and objectification, not my actual female body. I am now a happy, masculine-presenting woman who is comfortable in my own skin. I'm so glad I never medically transitioned and instead found my community.
My detransition story
My journey with gender started from a place of deep discomfort, but not necessarily with my body itself. I was born female, and from a young age, I felt a strong aversion to the stereotypes and expectations placed on me. I hated the idea that I had to be a certain way because I was a girl. I found a lot of comfort in wearing masculine clothes. For a while, I even used a binder because I felt like my breasts were just objects for the male gaze, and I wanted to hide them. It felt like I was hiding my female body parts.
A lot of my unease was tied to how women are portrayed, especially in porn. Seeing those images of objectified women made me deeply ashamed and increased my discomfort with my own appearance. It made me want to reject anything feminine because it felt connected to that stereotype. I now see that my issues were less about my actual body and more about social pressures and internalized ideas about what a woman should be.
I explored the idea of being trans, but I always had doubts. I never felt like I was "a man trapped in a woman's body." That idea never resonated with me. To me, being female is a biological fact, not an identity. You can be female and wear whatever you want. I realized I was getting caught between two totalitarian systems: one that said a girl must not present masculine, and another that said a girl who likes masculine things is trans and needs to transition. I had to find a way out of that.
I was influenced a lot by online communities, and I saw how easily people can get swept up in these identities. I came to believe that focusing on identity is a dead end; it alienates you from the world because it will never feel 100% correct. The less you think about it, the better. Instead of looking inward all the time, I found it much more helpful to concentrate on others—doing sports, engaging in my local community, finding a job that makes sense, helping people or animals. That gave me a sense of purpose that "finding my identity" never did.
I also learned a lot about the medical side of things. I'm a physician, and it shocks me how easily hormones and surgeries are given out without proper exploration. I saw that doctors often don't want to hassle with your anger if they question you; they just want to earn easy money and move on. There's no genuine interest in the patient's story. Affirmative care often doesn't follow standard practices of history-taking or exploring other mental health issues.
I benefited greatly from the concept of gender exploratory therapy. It helped me understand that my feelings were complex and tied to many things: social expectations, internalized homophobia, and a discomfort with puberty. I never took hormones or had surgery, but I seriously considered it. Now, I am so glad I didn't. I would have deeply regretted losing the sensitivity in my breasts, as they now give me so much pleasure. It's a horror how we react to the objectifying male gaze, and it's tragic that so many young people are making permanent changes to their bodies because of it.
I don't regret exploring these feelings, but I do regret how much time and energy I spent focused on my gender. I am a masculine-presenting woman, and I love it, but it took me decades to get comfortable with that. I am attracted to women, and finding a community that validated me as a butch lesbian was a huge part of my healing. It lessened any envy I had towards males.
My thoughts on gender are that it's largely a social construct, and the constant need to identify as something is a myth that just makes people insecure. These labels are not part of the real material world; they are ideas that are easily exploited by companies selling chemicals, surgeries, and clothes. Human development is about identifying with things—a profession, a hobby, a spiritual group—not identifying as a label.
I have no regrets about transitioning because I never medically transitioned. My journey was social and psychological, and I found my way out of it. I am now comfortable in my body as a female who is masculine. I am happy with who I am.
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| Teenage Years | Felt strong discomfort with female stereotypes and social expectations. Started wearing masculine clothing. |
| Early 20s | Used a binder to hide breasts, disliking the attention they attracted. |
| Throughout | Felt unease and shame from portrayal of women in media/porn, reinforcing desire to reject femininity. |
| Late 20s / Early 30s | Explored trans identity online but found it didn't resonate. Rejected the concept of a "true self" or being "born in the wrong body." |
| 40s | Found comfort and validation as a butch lesbian. Began to feel more attractive and comfortable with age. |
| 51 (Now) | Fully comfortable as a masculine-presenting woman. No medical transition occurred. |
Top Comments by /u/Comfortable-Code5235:
You are changing topic and target the personality and moral integrity of the one you are discussing with. This strategy is typical woke strategy, when arguments do not work, you attack personally. Nobody has to have transitioned to argue about women's rights. Since trans woman never were biological women, they do not have the experience of biological women. You don't need to have transitioned to argue this way.
Nobody "feels" female, only trans women do. I certainly don't "feel" female, it's a biological fact. "Feeling" some identity is branding some trademark to sell e.g. chemicals, surgeries. Making people "feel" such and such makes them dependent. You are free to "feel" masculine without risking surgeries, pain, dependence on chemicals. And all the unwanted side effects of cross sex hormones over the years.
The Dr.s didn't want you happy, they just wanted to not hassle with your anger in case they questioned. They wanted to earn easy money and move on to the next patient. There was no genuine interest in you and your story. Otherwise they would follow official standards and trans affirmative care has been shown to not even perform the normal standards. Of history taking, exploring comorbidities. No, they did not care about you.
I can feel you, putting your fetish publically, using others in non consensual ways, for autogynephiles it must be so much more shameful as it involves arousal. It's hard to go through a mourning phase and reach acceptance. But it will help to understand humans. Everybody does silly things some time. They may hurt others. It's good to come to an understanding. I think you can also be proud a little bit for learning about yourself.
You are in a bind already if you don't name birth sex. Questions and treatment are different for boys and girls. Please refer to geta, gender exploratory therapy association. there are many therapist with a lot of experience and they just published a handbook. https://genderexploratory.com/
Last time I directly said I don't want to think about pronouns when asked.
Picking identity just fits good in our world, since you can then have to buy the fitting accessories, like t shirts, surgeries, hormones. And this has the advantage you get sick and dependent on chemicals. So you consume and this helps make certain people richer.
The pattern is obvious as is the media attention for men in dresses, which is a fetishistic interest of mainstream media. But the trans mob are in majority cis woman who fight for their dearest new victim category. This is an example of women feeling their strength only when protecting victims. Not daring to speak for themselves, which would be gender nonconforming and punished by society (Turf).
Hiding some kind of horrendous stigma seems to be a pattern in your life. Maybe the feeling of having to cover something hideous about yourself goes deeper than just gender identity? Maybe there's a much more to this feeling? I think therapy might help.
Have you read: "Different. Gender Through the Eyes of a Primatologist Frans de Waal?" Or "Carol Hooven: T Testosteron"
Humans are mammals and mammals are sexually dimorphic animals with different behavior per sex. Testosterone does a huge part of especially libidinal behavior, but also competitiveness and empathy. Human males are all time high testosterone mammals, which is rare in animals and a complete waste of energy, but that's what males habe to live with.
Social norms exist also, and more than in other mammals, but on the basis of biologically divergent behavior. As an example: murder is performed in overwhelming majority by males across all cultures.
Identification "as" something is a myth and a shortcut, it must leave you insecure and doubtful, because it's not normal development. Identification is a much more complex and ever changing process that never ends. You cannot identify "as" male or female or trans or detrans, just like you cannot identify "as" black, American, Dutch, whatever. But the insecurities around these labels are easily exploited by corporate companies who are searching for new markets to sell chemicals or surgeries or clothes or badges.
The insecurities around identity labels are perfectly normal, because these labels are not part of the real material world, they are ideas.
Human development includes identification "with" something or someone, it's a process, it will never be perfectly reached, it can be hard or beautiful, it can change, it can be a profession, an appearance, a sport, a spiritual group. It is however independent from you as a person who is ok just like you are.