This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the comments provided, the account appears authentic.
There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or a bad-faith actor. The user's posts show:
- Personal, nuanced reflection on their own complex feelings about gender, OCD, autism, and internalized sexism.
- Consistent internal logic in their viewpoint (e.g., identifying as a transmedicalist while questioning their own trans status).
- Emotional variability appropriate to the topic, ranging from passionate frustration to supportive and conversational tones.
The account's authenticity is supported by the detailed and self-critical nature of their comments, which align with the experiences of genuine detransitioners and desisters.
About me
I was born female and my questioning started from a place of deep discomfort and a belief that being male was better. My autism and OCD made me feel like I wasn't a 'real' woman, and I saw transition as an escape from my insecurities and internalized sexism. I explored online communities but became skeptical of the reasons some people were transitioning. Now, I'm facing my problems directly and realizing I might just be a masculine woman who doesn't fit a binary stereotype. I'm grateful I never medically transitioned and am learning to accept myself as I am.
My detransition story
My whole journey with gender has been confusing, and I'm still trying to figure it all out. I was born female, but I never felt like I related to that on a deep level. I have really bad OCD and I'm autistic, and I think that played a huge part. I always felt ashamed of being female because I saw it as being weak, while being male seemed to mean strength and capability. I think a lot of autistic women feel like they're not "real" women, and that's why many of us might think we're non-binary when we're actually just gender non-conforming women.
I grew up in a religious family where I wasn't really allowed to just be a girl in my own way. I also never got along well with other women, and I thought that if I were a guy, maybe I'd finally fit in and get along with men. A lot of this was about escapism for me. I saw transitioning as a way to run away from myself. I thought that if I became someone else—a man—all my problems and insecurities would magically disappear. It felt easier than doing the hard work of facing my low self-esteem and figuring out what I actually disliked about myself.
My feelings were also tangled up with internalized sexism. I found it easier to write male characters because they felt like the default person, whereas writing female characters was hard; I only knew how to write them as stereotypes. After puberty, I almost exclusively wrote from male perspectives.
I did start questioning if I was trans, and I looked at online communities. What I saw there started to bother me. It seemed like so many people who identified as transmen were what I'd call "submissive puppy bois" who had no dysphoria about their genitals. It felt like a fetish rather than a real need to live as the opposite sex. This made me a transmedicalist—I believe you need genuine dysphoria to be trans, but I also know that not everyone with dysphoria is trans, as proven by detransitioners and even some cis gay and lesbian people.
Right now, I'm questioning everything. I'm trying to face my insecurities head-on instead of avoiding them through a gender change. It's really hard. I'm realizing that maybe I just don't fit neatly into a binary box. I've always liked both boy's and girl's clothes, and trying too hard to be super masculine or super feminine felt wrong. I might just be a woman who is comfortable being more masculine sometimes. I have a friend who is male and questioning transition; he likes being seen as a girl but is comfortable being male. I think a lot of us are somewhere in the middle, and that's okay. Medical transition is a huge deal, and if you're basically okay with your body's hormones, messing with that can really fuck with your head.
I'm not sure if I regret my social questioning because it led me to this point of deeper understanding, but I'm glad I never medically transitioned. I'm trying to learn to accept myself as I am.
Here is a timeline of my journey based on my memories:
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| Before Puberty | Felt neutral about being female. Wrote stories with female characters. |
| After Puberty (Teen years) | Started feeling strong discomfort with being female. Developed internalized sexism, seeing males as the "default." Began writing almost exclusively male characters. Felt like I didn't relate to other women. |
| Late Teens / Early 20s (Questioning) | Started questioning my gender identity. Explored online trans communities. Considered that I might be non-binary or a transman. Used the idea of transition as a form of escapism from my insecurities. |
| Present (Early 20s) | Actively questioning and re-evaluating. Realizing my feelings may stem from autism, OCD, internalized sexism, and a desire to escape. Learning to face my insecurities directly. No medical steps taken. |
Top Comments by /u/Competitive-Bid-2914:
Yeah, that bothers me so much tbh. Soooo many transmasc ppl r submissive puppy bois who enjoy vag penetration and post pictures of it with like zero dysphoria. Like, even detrans women and cis lesbians have dysphoria abt their genitals, but these “bois” don’t? It does seem like they r just living out their fetish tbh. Same with some amab ppl obsessed with being seen as a girl with a penis like it’s some fetish, not having much bottom dysphoria and not caring abt actually living as a woman. For that reason, I am transmedicalist and believe u need dysphoria to be trans, but that not all dysphoric ppl r trans, as evidenced by many detrans ppl and cis gay/lesbian ppl
Somewhat similar situation here. I grew up in a religious family and wasn’t rlly allowed to be female. I’m also autistic and never got along with women so I thought maybe I’d get along better with guys as a guy. I’m questioning rn but it’s nice to see other ppl like me
Sounds like u r just a femboy coz u like living as a man but also enjoy dressing up as a girl. I think that experience is rlly common tbh. Trans women would not like to be seen as male at all.
I also have a friend who is mtx questioning. They like being seen as a girl but r comfortable being male as well. I think a lot of ppl just like having the best of both worlds, but it doesn’t rlly make us trans. Trans ppl usually do not want to be associated with their birth gender at all, in any shape or form.
Nowadays, there r more fluid identities between the two binaries of male and female. I think a lot of ppl fall somewhere there, and it doesn’t rlly mean u have to transition or anything. Medical transition is a rlly big thing, and biologically u can be operating on either male or female hormones. So if u r fine with being male, it’s best to just keep doing what u r doing. Live as a guy but dress up as a girl whenever u feel like it.
If u r comfortable with being male but u medically transition and ur body operates on female hormones, it’s gonna fuck with ur head big time. And esp since u already pass, there’s no real need for hormones, unless u have this extreme urge to be a woman and do not want to be associated with being male in any context, which it doesn’t sound like that’s the case for u
I also have rlly bad ocd and internalized sexism, and I relate sooooo fucking much to everything u r saying. I feel like being female means u r born to be weak, and that being male means u have strength and capability. I was always so ashamed of being female and never related to it on an intrinsic level, but I think many other women feel that way, esp autistic women. They never feel like a “real” woman, and I kind of think that’s why a lot of ppl think they r non-binary when they r just a somewhat gnc woman tbh
So real tbh. I always liked both boy clothes and girl clothes. Trying too hard to go in either direction (being too girly or too masculine) felt wrong. I was interested in transitioning ig to run away from my current self. It was a form of avoidance tbh. Thought if I transitioned, I’d magically be someone I can accept instead of going thru the hard work of facing my insecurities and seeing what exactly I disliked abt myself and facing it head-on. I’m trying to do that rn but it’s so hard bruh
Hey, sorry for the kind of late reply. I think similar situation with me. I’ve always related to women coz I was always more feminine I think. That’s why I can’t come to terms with the idea of me being butch bcuz I’m not that masculine, but ig femmes and futches r a thing lol.
And actually I have written more male characters than female I think, and it was easier for me than writing female characters coz male felt like the default, whereas for female characters, I didn’t rlly know how to make them act except for the stereotypical mean girl behavior lolll. When I was younger, I wrote more female characters, but after puberty, it was more male characters.
And yeah sure, I am open to dm-ing and talking abt this. But I should lyk that there’s a chance I might still be trans. Regardless, I still think we have a lot in common regarding our feelings abt gender. And also, I have a lot of schizoid traits and mostly isolate myself and prefer being alone, so I may take a while to respond, if that’s ok with you