This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, this account appears to be authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or inauthentic.
The user demonstrates a consistent, nuanced, and personal understanding of the detransition experience, including practical advice on weaning off hormones, managing social perceptions, and the internal process of self-acceptance. The language is passionate, empathetic, and highly specific, reflecting the perspective of a real individual who has lived through the experience. The advice is focused on disengaging from external validation and finding personal health and independence, which aligns with common themes in the detrans community.
About me
I was born female and never felt like I fit in, so I started identifying as a man online and took testosterone. I even had top surgery, thinking it would finally make me comfortable. I eventually realized my real issues were depression and anxiety, not my gender, and that I was using transition to escape. Now I understand I am a woman, a lesbian, and I've made peace with my body and the choices I've made. I've learned that my true self isn't defined by gender, and I'm finally focusing on finding joy in other parts of my life.
My detransition story
My whole journey with transition and detransition was messy and complicated, and looking back, I can see a lot of things I didn't understand at the time.
I was born female and I never felt like I fit in, especially when I was a teenager. Puberty was really uncomfortable for me; I hated the development of my breasts and felt like my body was becoming something that wasn't me. I had a lot of anxiety and low self-esteem. I think a lot of this was tied to not being a stereotypical girl and feeling like an outsider. I also struggled with internalised homophobia, feeling uncomfortable with the idea of being a lesbian, even though that’s what I am.
I started my transition online, influenced by the communities I was in. I began identifying as non-binary first, which felt like a less scary step, but it quickly escalated to me identifying as a trans man. I started testosterone. Being on T did have some benefits; my period pain got a lot better, for instance. I was on and off T twice, trying to figure things out.
I got top surgery. At the time, I was sure it was the right thing to do to finally feel comfortable in my body. For a while, it did feel like a relief. But the feeling didn't last.
My detransition began when I slowly realized that my problems weren't really about gender. I was using transition as a form of escapism from other issues, like my depression and anxiety. I had to disengage from the idea that I needed to control how the world saw my biological sex. I am what I am: a woman. I learned that any medical intervention on top of that is a choice you can make and unmake.
I don't regret my transition in the sense that it was a path I had to walk to learn these things about myself. I needed to go through it to understand that my gender is the least interesting thing about me. I’m a cooler-than-usual woman who has lived on both sides of a strict societal line, and I am better for it. My only real regret is that I didn't have someone to help me question things more deeply before making permanent changes. I benefited greatly from therapy that was not affirming of my trans identity, which finally helped me untangle my other issues from my discomfort with my body.
Now, I'm just a woman with short hair and a flat chest. I have a name that people sometimes think is for a boy, but it's my name and I've made peace with it. I look like a lesbian, and that's okay. Society might read me as male sometimes, but that says more about society than it does about me. I’ve learned to find joy in other things, like learning about nature and making things with my hands, instead of constantly obsessing over where I fit on a gender matrix.
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 13-16 | Experienced significant puberty discomfort; hated breast development. Felt like an outsider. |
| 17 | Influenced online, began identifying as non-binary. |
| 18 | Socially transitioned to living as a man. |
| 19 | Started testosterone (T) for the first time. |
| 21 | Underwent top surgery (double mastectomy). |
| 22 | Went off T for the first time. |
| 23 | Went back on T for a second period. |
| 24 | Began weaning off T for the final time and started to detransition. Began non-affirming therapy. |
| 25 | Fully detransitioned and came to understand myself as a lesbian woman. |
Top Comments by /u/Creative-Act-952:
I don't know this crew, but why do you feel like you couldn't be honest with them about detransitioning? It is definitely scary to talk about, but in my experience you are allowed to say "I don't think this transition thing is working out for me long term, so I'm coming back to understanding myself as a woman." You don't need to get political, but if these are people you were open with that you were trans before, I don't think they will shun you for being a different kind of woman now.
There are lots of women who are read as men in society for lots of reasons other than a history of transition. Women with cancer-related mastectomies and natural stubble and any other combination of features that can read as male in some circumstances are so so so normal and common and a thing that happens all the time.
Society, and most people, are kind of stupid, so you really can't take the gendering you get from strangers as the most important metric of anything.
Women, especially older ones, will be kinder and more understanding than you think if you get the chance IRL.
This is more a question of society than individual identity I think. There have always been people in highly gendered societies who get by loving a social role more similar to the "opposite" of what you would expect given the gender they were assigned at birth. How allowed these people are to live and how open it is that they are a Specific Case versus a secret has varied and is different in places and times.
Yeah, some people have been 'Truly Transexual' throughout history.
Openness but also medical advancements have changed a lot so we are dealing with a whole new world in two decades. There is growing pains.
Focus on yourself and what makes you a healthy independent person, not where you stand in some wider battle of the minds.
I had a similar situation. My given name is technically gender neutral (Dylan), but all while I was growing up, kids would say "isn't that a boys' name?" I hated this, because it drew attention to my not fitting in. For example, when I was in school, my name got sorted onto the boy's gym class attendance list. Stuff like that was constant.
But while I was in transition, it felt like there was a whole part of the trans experience I did not go through, because my name went from weird for my gender to normal.
And then I detransitioned.
My name gets in the way of me passing as a normal woman. But I'm not a normal woman. I'm a cooler than usual woman who has gone through some insane nonsense and lived on both sides of one of our strictest societal lines. And I am better for it.
If you like being Theo, then you are Theo. I'm glad you have something you love.
I'm just like you, and i'm having a great time. Get to love making people ask questions. Get really into knitting or dioramas or anything that takes you out of your body ans consantly thing about where you fit into a complex gender matrix. Go climb a local large hill, know the scientific name of your nearest largest tree, get distracted. Your gender is the least interesting thing about you.
My period pain got a lot better after being on t for a time. I don't know if it was related or just what was going to happen with maturity. Either way, your period will probably not be back for at least a few months on the average, so it is not something you will have to deal with right away probably, and should not be a thing stopping you from weaning off T if that is what you think your best next step is.
A) weaning off is better than cold turkey ime, you should be able to talk with whoever handles your prescription about this openly
B) having a period is not necessarily fun, but if you have manageable pain levels, it really is not the worst thing in the world. If you can works towards approaching the 'inevitable event' without letting your dysphoria be the loudest voice, you might find being less stressed going into it will lead to less anxiety-based physical tension making you feel even worse.
I've been on and off T twice. I'm no expert, but i have been where you are and I'm open to questions.
Taking some self defense classes and having a support network will do so much for you safety wise than the idea of passing as a woman. Some of us just look gay. Like, based on you looking a lot like me, you'd have an easier time being a man than passing as a straight woman, if looking cishet is your goal. Sorry. It's going to be a rough four years. But detransitioning for safety reasons does not exist in the same way for ppl who are dykes as women.
MOST! People! Arenot! Actually! Paying! AteentioN!
Yes you are clearly a woman with short hair on this forum, and yes you will be read as male often out in society.
Do not let something so minor as what a bunch of idiots with no money who are speeding through their day while also dealing with a thousand internal traumas you know nothing about define anything about you.
Detransitioning is and should be all about disengaging from the apparatus of controlling the narrative about your biological sex. You are what you are and any amount of intervention or medical treatment on top of that is a choice you can make and unmake.
Do not chase trying to "look like a woman" again. Lot's of women pass as men, it's a function of society. Your are fine.
Are you paying your rent? Are you eating healthy? what gender you read as is such an unimportant thing, please do not get hung up on it
source: i look just like you
This is a sucky situation you are in for sure. No one can accuraractly figure out how they are going to be happiest gender-wise while surrounded by unsupportive people. I think getting independent from your family so no one can force your presentation should be your first priority.