This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, this account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or inauthentic.
The user's language is emotionally complex, self-reflective, and internally consistent. Their narrative of desisting, processing trauma, and anger towards the transgender movement aligns with common, passionate perspectives found in that community. The specific, personal details (e.g., relationships, name change, scrapbooking) lack the generic or repetitive nature of bot-generated content.
About me
I started transitioning to male in my late teens because I hated being a woman and thought becoming a man would solve all my problems. It cost me my most important relationships and I finally admitted it wasn't making me happy. I realized I never truly wanted to be a man; I just hated being a woman and was trying to escape. Now I'm trying to build a new, positive life as a woman and make peace with myself. I'm here to grieve what I lost and connect with others who understand this pain.
My detransition story
My entire journey started because I hated being a woman. I had a lot of bad experiences growing up female that I was desperately trying to run away from. I think I saw being a man as an escape, a way to become a different person and leave all that pain behind. I convinced myself that if I could just be seen as male, all my problems would be solved.
I started socially transitioning in my late teens. I changed my name and asked everyone to use male pronouns for me. For a while, it felt like a solution. I felt like I was finally taking control. But it was incredibly hard on my life. It damaged my relationship with my parents almost to the point of no return, and I lost a significant other that I still feel intense remorse over losing. I built a new identity, but it cost me a lot.
Everything came to a head for me last December. I had a complete breakdown and finally admitted to myself that I didn't want to be trans anymore. It was just too difficult and it wasn't making me happy. Letting myself feel that was terrifying because it meant admitting I might have been wrong. But it allowed me to ask the hard questions I’d been avoiding for years.
I realized I never truly wanted to be a man. I just hated being a woman. I had internalized this idea that women were less than men, that they couldn't be smart or badass, and I was trying to escape into an identity that I thought was stronger and better. Letting go of that has been a process. I know I’ll probably always have moments where I wish I didn’t have to be a woman, but I’m working on accepting that it’s a part of me I can’t and shouldn’t change.
Now, I’m focused on repairing my relationship with myself. I’m trying to build new, positive memories as a woman. I missed out on a lot of typical experiences growing up, so I’ve started doing those things for my inner teenage self. I go out with friends and take cute pictures to make a scrapbook of my new adventures. I'm trying to look forward instead of dwelling on what could have been.
I don't regret my transition because it led me to this understanding, but I am angry about how I was misled. I feel a deep pain for others who have gone through much more, like having surgeries that permanently altered their bodies. I only transitioned socially, so my detransition is different, but the grief is still there. I need a space where I can be honest about that anger and sadness without being told how I should feel.
I changed my name back to my birth name legally to make things easier for my family, but it’s complicated. I don't really feel like either my old name or my chosen name fits who I am now. I mostly go by a shortened, neutral version of the name I chose because it feels like a comfortable middle ground.
For me, this community is vital. It’s a place for us to be angry, to grieve, and to process what happened without being told we're wrong for our feelings. We were hurt, and we want to protect others from ending up where we are.
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 18 | Started socially transitioning, changed my name and pronouns to male. |
| 23 | Had a breakdown and realized I didn't want to be trans anymore; began the process of self-reflection and detransition. |
| 23 | Legally changed my name back to my birth name for my family, but primarily use a gender-neutral nickname. |
Top Comments by /u/Creative-Basil130:
You CAN NOT tell people who have gone through it so much more then you have about how they should and should not feel about the transgender movement. I also only desisted and I can’t even fathom the deep pain and the trauma that so many detrans people have now because of what was done to their bodies. Not to mention the impact it has on other areas for example I almost completely lost a relationship with my parents, and did lose a significant other in my life that I still have intense remorse for. I didn’t lose nearly as much as many others but it’s insanely out of line to tell everyone to stop being transphobic when many of us are angry and many of us just wish it would all get out of our faces so we can forget it ever happened. We aren’t going to interact kindly with the trans community because of our experience, and it’s not okay to tell anyone how to process or feel
Except it actually is okay because this community exists as a support for DETRANS people!!! Not trans people, we’re hurt and we need community and we’re allowed to be angry and grieve and process and have our own space to be honest about our experiences
I just had a moment where I broke down and I realized I didn’t want to be trans anymore because of how hard it was on my life. Once I let myself feel that way I was ready to ask myself some harder questions I had been stepping around for years because I was too scared of admitting I was wrong. That self reflection led me to accept that I didn’t want to be a man, I just hated being a woman and had had lots of bad experiences as a female that I was trying to run from. I’ll probably never stop having moments of wishing I didn’t have to be a woman and that’s okay, I know I can’t change that part of me so all I can do is work on self improvement, repair my relationship with myself and stop thinking of myself as less of a person then someone born male, because women can be just as smart and badass!!
I don’t believe anyone is trans, so..? But hey again this is our community, we want to protect others from ending up where we are, we hate how we were misled and convinced we were something we were not. You have no right to police anyone into supporting people’s rights to destroy their bodies, especially those who have regrets about transitioning. We aren’t going to see eye to eye, but let us have our space for fucks sake you’re over here in the comments trying to be the devils advocate but we don’t want or need it. We’ve heard it all from people in the trans community, so back off
In the same boat and I’ve been feeling the same, but I’ve decided that although I missed out on typical girl stuff at that age but it’s never too late to start, and who cares if you need to go out and do those things for your inner teenage self! I’ve started taking cute pictures every time I go out with friends or do a fun activity so I can start a scrapbook of my adventures going forward, I’m building new memories and trying not to worry about what could’ve been
I feel kind of the same, I dislike having a religious name but I did change back to my birth name legally because I felt like it would be easiest for my family, however I still mostly go by the name I chose because it’s shortened version is gender neutral but I feel like neither one really is who I am anymore, it’s definitely a tough situation