I'd say maturity probably. Teen years are the worst but as you near the 20s people usually feel more internally settled. Especially as you start heading out of highschool and need to start worrying about dealing with the adult world, as there's just less time to spend stressing over things teens worry about.

I used to be so self conscious as a teenager I would avoid leaving the house but the older I got the more I was able to deal with my self-conciousness. Now I'm in my 30s and I honestly couldn't give less of a fuck how I feel about whether my internal feelings match how I present myself. The more my responsibilities grew as I aged into adulthood the less I had time or energy to spend on how I felt about anything and that forced me to accept myself as I was as the option to stress over myself was slowly taken away from me. I did no work on myself but just realised one day that I was fine with myself as I was.

There are a few different types of birth controls. If it's a progestin (synthetic progesterone) only pill then I would be surprised. If it has oestrogen in it then it is possible. I don't know of any research about exogenous oestrogen being tested specifically on ftm to see if it has that effect, however considering how oestrogen works then it is certainly a consideration. Of course it could be a coincidence!! A known side effect of oestrogen containing birth control is a drop in libido, vaginal dryness and atrophy of the clitoris, so it certainly has an effect but without proper research we can only speculate but I would not discount it.

I'm a girl, so it's not entirely relevant to you but I wanted to add that my mum frequently and with utter seriousness used to say it was a good thing I wasn't born a boy because she would have left me on a windswept crag to die. Thankfully she only had me because the damage she could have done to a boy would be awful.

I've been thinking further that it could possibly happen with a progestin pill, but I really doubt it unless you were already quite deficient in progesterone. Progesterone can decrease anxiety and improve depressive symptoms, but that is bioidentical progesterone, progestin in pills is made to look slightly different than natural progesterone so that it can be patented and sold as a brand. The synthetic version in birth control pills does not have as strong an effect on anxiety and depression as progesterone that is made to look identical to own. I don't know why exactly you're feeling like you want to detransition, so I'm just mentioning the main effects of progesterone/progestin on mood so you've got more information up your sleeve.

I'm not sure what your menstrual cycle is like now but generally if the stage after ovulation (luteal phase) is less than 10 days it will miscarry due to a lack of progesterone. Having enough progesterone is crucial to maintaining a pregnancy or having a non-painful and healthy length cycle.

It could also be that the embryo was simply not viable and it was a straight up coincidence.

I'm a people pleaser and find it difficult to stand up for my needs in a relationship. I've done a fair amount of work on it and I have a supportive partner who has become a lot better at listening to me. Is that something that you could work on, speaking up for yourself and your needs and finding compromises with whoever you're partnered with. Making another person happy at the cost of yourself when they're not putting in equal effort to making you happy is always going to hurt the person putting in the most effort.

If you were still growing when you started it's unlikely because oestrogen closes growth plates earlier than testosterone, which is why girls stop growing at a younger age than boys. If you were a young teen and you're still in your growing age then maybe. If you were finished growing when you started then no, probably not.

Not sure. Technically probably yes, but in reality low oestrogen isn't possible because we are literally living in a soup of synthetic oestrogen. Bisphenols like BPA, BPS, BPF are synthetic oestrogens and those are in hard plastics and in plastic and recycled plastic clothing. Phthalates in softer plastics like the plastic cling wrap we cover food also contains synthetic oestrogen.

Clearly various intersex conditions...shit, I have to go, I'll come back!

Edit: Right, so excluding androgen insensitivity and just focusing on everyone else. Most of us have too much oestrogen, though it doesn't show up on blood tests for our own oestrogen because synthetic oestrogens (xenoestrogens) from plastics and fertilisers don't show up in the same tests for human oestrogen. Unfortunately xenoestrogens and normal oestrogens both act as oestrogen in the body, the test might not notice the xenoestrogens but our body thinks we're awash with real oestrogen.

Not all humans can cope with all the extra oestrogen and then they have symptoms of oestrogen dominance, and in women that increases weight gain that is very hard to lose because of hormonally induced lowered metabolism, and an increase in anxiety and depression. On the opposite side of things some humans are very good at downgrading their oestrogen receptors when there is a lot of oestrogen. The body downgrades oestrogen receptors by shutting them down basically so they can't receive the oestrogen and trigger an effect in the body. Depending on how effective an individual's body is at this process they could end up with symptoms of low oestrogen, which also include anxiety and depression for some people. There's increasing research on how the menstrual cycle and oestrogen affect obsessive thinking.

We can have low oestrogen on blood tests but rarely do doctors ever factor in if the oestrogen is low because the xenoestrogen level is high and the body has slowed production of its own oestrogen. They also almost never factor in the way progesterone and oestrogen and testosterone work together and that when the progesterone is ratioed incorrectly with the other two hormones it causes anxiety and depression and generally feelings of feeling shite about everything. Also oestrogen is mainly stored in fat and hangs out in tissue, it doesn't spend much time in the bloodstream so testing the blood isn't overly accurate, especially if you're at all overweight because oestrogen loves fat, it can even make more fat and more oestrogen all by itself, like some self replicating blob monster.

Sorry I had to run off earlier, and I slightly lost my original train of thought. In women, if the oestrogen is genuinely too low compared with testosterone (for any myriad of reasons that doctors rarely understand and genuinely oversimplify unless they are incredibly good endocrinologists, and most of them aren't) then it could contribute to feeling internally, and sometimes appearing externally, more masculine.

Interestingly, females whose mothers had high testosterone levels during their pregnancy do have higher levels of 'male' traits, eg. somewhat poorer social skills than other females and a more systematising rather than a 'socialising with the girls' mind. Autism is also linked to offspring with mothers who had either abnormally high testosterone or oestrogen levels, and autism and feeling incorrectly gendered or genderless is pretty normal. ADHD is also linked to sex hormone exposure during gestation and ADHDers are more impulsive, anxious, likely to struggle with depression, struggle to fit in, particularly ADHD females with neurotypical females and so can feel like they don't belong in the female world as they generally get along better with boys. Gender identity and sexuality are definitely affected by the hormone exposure from our mothers during pregnancy, and then our own hormones and any additional effects of synthetic hormones. It's a tangled web.

So yes, very simply, low oestrogen or an incorrect ration of oestrogen, progesterone, and testosterone could contribute to internally identifying as ftm. Funnily enough very high oestrogen could probably do the same once it's high enough to start causing fertility issues. If you want to read some more I would suggest research on sex hormones by Dr Shanna Swan and research on oestrogen dominance and progesterone by Dr Peter Eckhart. Reading their stuff gave me more help than my endocrinologist ever did.

Would T damage eggs? The eggs are already created when you are a foetus yourself and short of radiation, x-rays etc. they should be fine. I'm not sure that T would do anything to the eggs themselves other than stop them being released, but pregnancy also does that. Unfortunately menstrual cycles are very easy to mess up, mine was very damaged due to high bisphenol exposure and I need to take progesterone now to have a normalish cycle.

"looking dejected when they don't fit in their beaks"!🤣 Funniest thing I've read in a while!! I've seen a film of a pelican eat a pigeon and I was dumbfounded, I had no idea they did that!!

I had no idea chickens were the stuff of nightmares!! WTF!! Thoigh I have heard birds described at dinosaurs with the temperament of a pissed off toddler, so its believable, but freaky.