Whatever you do, don’t let fear and especially other people decide for you. I’m learning this the hard way myself. I can tell you all about my experience, but this thread is about you and so I’ll post my comment here on what I think will help you based on my personal experience.

Have an honest conversation with yourself about where you are now. Write down the answers in a private journal.

Be completely honest about who you were and have been since you were born. Write down the answers.

Ask yourself what would make your life better 5 years or more from now. It’s important to know at this point to plan ahead as if you are going to live forever, you never know. Remember, killing your self is never the correct choice, we’re probably going to die someday anyways. Wouldn’t you rather turn this giant painful shithole of life around and make your time on this place a lot better?

Once you know what it is that troubles you and know what will make you happy (regardless of other people’s opinion, but as long as you’re not hurting anyone around you or yourself) go all out for it. Turn your life around and be happy, you have nothing to lose and everything to gain.

Finally, remember that the best time to plant a tree was yesterday, but today is just as good. Tomorrow will be here regardless, but what tomorrow brings is something you might just have control over.

💜

I hope you don’t get banned. I don’t know much about this whole situation, but both/ all sides just need to hear each other instead of hiding behind their “concrete knowledge” of the subject. Most of the world’s problems would be solved with clear communication and willingness to work together from all sides. <3

It is, I can confirm the “gender dysphoria”, or whatever other name it might go by, “gender identity disorder”, is in fact real. That doesn’t mean you will transition at one point, there’s people who channel or otherwise cope with it in different ways. Some people become extremely homophobic, some transition, everyone who has it reacts to it in a different way depending on the individual and to a certain extent, the environment.

I was 24 when I started taking hormones for 2.5 years. The whole time I felt fatigued, had brain fog, couldn’t sleep well, and more things. A few times I struggled to breathe with sharp chest pains and felt like I was choking. I kept on taking it because I was told it’s safe and it’s just breast growth or something else unrelated to the hrt. Shortly before I stopped the whole thing, I was put on progesterone and I took it for like two weeks. At the end of those two weeks I had constant headaches and sensitivity to the light. One night I woke up because I had a sudden sharp pain on my right side of the head and for about a whole week, my whole right side I felt a constant numbness. Throughout these two years my endocrinologist told me it was perfectly fine and normal and that it was all due to anxiety. So after that progesterone incident I stopped taking it, but continued on the estradiol Valerate injections. I continued to repeatedly have trouble breathing along with chest pain especially after taking the injection. The last few weeks I had more and more chest pain and trouble breathing, but this time accompanied by shoulder pain and jaw pain, until the last time I injected. About six months after I stopped taking hrt, which I weaned off of it, I’d skip a dose then two then three and so forth. Anyways, after about six month of not taking it anymore I began to feel slightly better. I guess it all depends on the individual, I happened to be one of the unlucky ones I guess. To this day I have chronic fatigue, but I’m doing slightly better each day.

To make a long story short... I brought my transition (MTF) to a halt because if I continue to transition, my mom will go insane. I’m not even making this up, I wouldn’t be able to if I tried. She ended up in the psychiatric ward for about two weeks and in hospital intensive care for about two as well. She only recovered after I shaved my hair off and repeatedly told her that I had been cured, that I’m no longer trans... for I while I really did try to just man up. I attempted to have a civil conversation about the whole situation with her, but I see it in her eyes, I can’t do that to her ever again.

Now I’m back to where I started, an empty shell roaming around aimlessly. Before I began transitioning I didn’t know how depressed I really was, it was only after stopping and going back to pre-transition me that I now realize that I’ve always been so depressed because of the gender dysphoria I’ve been living with.

It feels like going back to normal... I’m quiet and reclusive again. I’m always in a bad mood, I get angry easily, everything bothers me now, again.... for myself and for those who know me, I’m just back to normal now. Escaping into the world of video games to get lost in another universe, far away from this reality, this nightmare that I can’t wake up from. They all blame my problem on video games, but they don’t understand that it’s just my way of forgetting about it all, besides, I get to be me in some of these video games.

Even today, like pre-transition me, I’m just trying to man up and outgrow this thing, to save my mom because I love her. I’m such a lame 26 year old man, nobody even wants to hire me because I’m so depressed I’m just repulsive. I don’t know how long I’ll be able to last... I’ve lasted 26, I won’t kill myself because I’m hoping things will change. When will they?

I kinda don’t, only a select few get to hear that part of my life. For the rest of the people, I’m just a normal man mostly. A bit free-spirited and non-judgemental, but “normal”… some in my family don’t know I transitioned at one point, some do. The ones that do don’t care, some do, it doesn’t matter lol

Hang in there bro, hey let’s chat for a bit. I went through two and a half years of transition mtf, now male and I understand the feeling. Definitely stay away from the toxic masculinity and toxic femininity. We can chat here or on a messenger, discord maybe? Honestly if you play games on Steam we can chat there while gaming, anyways I wish you the best! Stay strong bro, but more importantly, stay curious and enjoy the ride!

Don’t hurt yourself, there’s a point of intense suicidal intent, lasted one night for me. Don’t give into it. One thing that did help me was eating healthy foods and exercising. Listening to music and watching lots of YouTube! I kept telling myself that the brain fog is only temporary. It’s been about a year now since I stopped hrt after about 2.5 years and I still get the ocasional brain fog, but it’s starting to be less frequent. I am starting to take testosterone supplements now, one called Mdrive Prime so I hope that will help me be energetic once again!

I’m detrans as well, I don’t think I’m an asshole. Sometimes my straightforwardness comes across as mean, but I’m just saying in how I see it at the time. Of course this being the internet things like body language are absent and so it’s easier to interpret text as mean. Especially if you’re going through depression. That being said, I’m here for you as a fellow detransitioner. I am 28, soon 29 AMAB btw 🙂