This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, this account appears to be authentic.
There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or a bad-faith actor. The comments display a consistent, deeply personal narrative centered on trauma, mental health, desisting, and a critical view of transition. The language is emotionally charged, nuanced, and contains specific, lived details (e.g., family mental health history, personal diagnoses, a botched surgery on a sibling) that are complex to fabricate consistently. The passion and anger expressed are consistent with the experiences of many genuine detransitioners and desisters.
About me
I started considering transition because of deep-seated trauma and my schizoaffective disorder, heavily influenced by online pressure and friends. I realized my desire to have both male and female traits was a spirit of confusion, not my true self. I never had surgery and now understand I am a female who needed to heal, not change. I see the push to redefine biology as harmful, especially after witnessing the long-term damage to a close friend. Now, I'm focused on trauma therapy, embracing my femininity, and my faith, finding peace as a woman.
My detransition story
My journey with gender started from a really broken place. I have a lot of trauma from my childhood, and it’s something that runs in my family—my mom and my grandmother both had serious mental health struggles. I was diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder when I was 13, and I see now that my wanting to transition was tied directly to that trauma. It was like a cycle; the feeling would get stronger around the time of year when bad things had happened, and then it would fade. The body really does keep the score.
For a while, I identified as salmacian, which is the idea of wanting to have a body with both male and female sex characteristics. I thought I could have the "best of both worlds." But I came to realize that for me, this was a spirit of confusion. It was chaos. I never went through with any surgeries, which is why I call myself desisted, not detransitioned. I’m a woman, a fully grown female, and I’m now focused on healing and getting to know my feminine side as part of that process.
I was influenced a lot by what I saw online and by friends at the time. There was a lot of pressure. I remember thinking that everyone questions their body when they’re young, and that’s where adults are supposed to guide you, but that guidance wasn't there for me. I had to learn that my own wellbeing is more important than what my friends think. I had to put myself first.
My thoughts on gender now are pretty straightforward. I believe you are born male or female, and anatomy defines what biological life is. You can’t change a cat into a dog. I see the push to change definitions as confusing and unscientific. Taking testosterone might make someone a "biochemical male," but it doesn't make them a biological male. This is especially clear to me when I think about my sibling from the foster home. She has been transitioning for ten years, had a botched top surgery, and now wants bottom surgery. It breaks my heart because I know she will never be a man, and I can see the harm she’s causing herself long-term, even if she seems happy on the surface.
I also struggled with internalized feelings about sexuality. I’m a bisexual woman, and I felt pressured to be attracted to everyone, including male-to-female transwomen. It made me cringe when people would call me "phobic" because I, as a bisexual female, wasn't interested in a surgically created penis, which I call "fleshcraft." If I had gone through with my own transition, I wouldn't have wanted to force that on anyone else either.
I don’t regret not transitioning, but I do regret ever going down that path mentally. It was a distraction from my real issues, which are trauma and my mental health. I’ve benefited from focusing on those root causes instead. I haven't had non-affirming therapy, but I strongly believe in trauma-based therapy over something like CBT, because you have to address the cause, not just the behavior. My physical health is also a factor; I have PCOS which made me insulin resistant, and I believe the high cortisol levels from my childhood stress are connected to that, not to any transition-related things.
My life now is about healing. I’ve become religious, focusing on being a Child of The Most High, and that’s given me a lot of peace. I correct people when they mistake me for masculine, but I don’t make a big deal of it. I’m just a woman trying to heal.
Here is a timeline of my journey:
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 13 | Diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder. Recognized the connection to family trauma. |
| Late Teens / Early 20s | Identified as salmacian and socially considered transition. Influenced by online communities and friends. |
| Mid-Late 20s | Realized the desire was rooted in trauma and confusion. Desisted and began to identify as a woman. |
| Present (Adult Woman) | Focused on trauma healing, exploring femininity, and religious faith. |
Top Comments by /u/Damaged_H3aler987:
I cringe at the thought of being a bisexual woman and told I'm "phobic" because I don't want to lick the "fleshcraft" of the mtf transwomen... If I had gone through with that surgery, I wouldn't be trying to make some bisexual man think that they were phobic of me because they wouldn't fellatio my "fleshcraft".... but I don't matter, because I've never gone through with the surgery and if I did, I wouldn't be happy with the outcome...
This is the way I feel about my sibling from the foster home. We grew up with each other for 8 years. She will always be her to me. She's been transitioning for a solid 10 years now. She's set on being a man, even though she will never be a man. She got top surgery (botched) 5 years ago, I know it's botched because you can still see the suture lines and it looks like it didn't heal right... now she wants to go for a bottoms surgery consult this summer and to get it done this summer too. I wish there was a way I could stop her. Like she stopped me from stabbing and killing my pregnant school bully when I was 13 years old ... But I can't get her to see the harm she will cause herself in the long run. And that makes me so incredibly sad 😔. She's happy surface level, has a wife who is beautiful and can sing opera, has a job driving trucks and wants to own her own truck business one day. I just wish she didn't need to have the bottom surgery.... sorry for the rant... But thank you for posting, as it gave me someplace to vent my frustration...
They have no penis, no scrotum, no orchids, to go along with the testosterone, which makes somebody a biological male.... if anything, it makes you a biochemical male, but you're not a biological male. Because anatomy still defines what biological life is and what it is not. A cat cannot become a dog.... a mouse cannot morph into a mantid. It's really strange how some are trying to change the definitions of words... and exclude science to "affirm" someone's own explanation on why some are right about what some are saying....
You have to think about you. Your wellbeing is so much more important than what your friends will think of you if you put yourself before their feelings. Everybody is hurting, and some of us it's got an extra twist because it comes with self-hate and confusion of who we are. And so people are lashing out and losing control everywhere. Think of your wellbeing first, and resist the beating of the locusts wings.
Your cortisol levels have something to do with it. Trying to metabolize a foreign substance (t) stresses the body. That my hypothesis, I do suffer from pcos, and it has made me insulin resistant... and it's definitely connected to my cortisol levels, from the high stress of heavy childhood trauma, not transitioning... we can talk in pm if you want.
I'm right here brother, desisted salmacian. I took me realizing that hermaphroditism is chaos incarnate and realizing that I couldn't have the "best of both worlds" to come to my senses and that to me, the whole thing driving this push, is the spirit of confusion. Now, as I said, this is just pertaining to me. I can't speak for anybody else here. I am a desisted female, fully grown woman, who has a lot of healing from trauma to do. Knowing is half the battle, can say that from experience! When men and younger males greet me, they still see me as masculine when they reply. I correct them if I feel it's needed and tell them I am a woman of asked. I don't make a big deal out of it. I focus on being a Child of The Most High more than anything nowadays, even though getting to know my feminine side is part of my healing path. That's just my experience, so hopefully I won't get attacked for my reply here. I'm speaking for myself, not salmacians or any other trans/detrans people. You can talk to me if you ever need a chat 💛🌹🫂
And those tests they do lead to a misdiagnosis a lot of the time... they also can't test for things that are neurological. Depression, schizophrenia, etc... so I say we need a better and more informed medical force. I don't like that most doctors don't know what a hemorrhagic fever virus is, even though people have been infected via a vector (mosquitoes) in America before... I also don't like the fact that we only have 240,000 hospital beds for 350 million people here in this country. Have a great day!
Learn about male-oriented supplements and how they can help you. If you take medicine, I would take the 5+ supplements and research if they are known to cause any interactions. Black maca root is a great one, so I've heard, for male health. I am a woman heavily into supplementation because our food is severely lacking. I take red maca root... I hope this helps
I was diagnosed with Schizo effective disorder at age 13. We endure trauma that breaks our minds and breaks this reality. The prison bars of this reality at least. Yep it's hereditary, yep my Mama was diagnosed and her Mama was locked in a mental facility in the 1940s. They both endured heavy childhood trauma.
Ex-salmacian here, those cycles are connected to trauma.... it's a trauma cycle, the wanting to transition may happen close to the event and then that feeling cycles outas the time of the event passes. The. Body. Keeps. Score. This is my unprofessional explanation, definitely talk to a therapist, not a CBT one though. The behavior is the effect, not the cause... a trauma based therapist...