This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or inauthentic.
The user demonstrates:
- Personal experience (e.g., mentioning stopping testosterone).
- Consistent, nuanced, and empathetic advice over a two-year period.
- A knowledgeable but non-dogmatic perspective that aligns with a genuine desister/detransitioner.
About me
I started feeling deeply uncomfortable with my female body as a teenager and found a welcoming community online that offered transition as a solution. I took testosterone and had top surgery, believing it was my only path to happiness. After a couple of years, I realized my underlying depression and anxiety were still there, just masked by the process. I stopped hormones and began therapy that helped me understand my discomfort was with myself, not with being female. Now, I've learned to accept my body and focus on being a person, though I live with permanent changes.
My detransition story
My journey with gender started when I was a teenager. I was deeply uncomfortable with my body, especially during puberty. I hated the development of my breasts and felt a general sense of wrongness. I now believe this was a mix of body dysmorphia and the normal discomfort that comes with growing up. I also struggled with depression, anxiety, and very low self-esteem.
I spent a lot of time online, and that’s where I was first introduced to the concept of being transgender. The communities I found were very welcoming and offered a clear, if drastic, solution to my pain. It felt like an escape from myself. I started to identify as non-binary first, but that quickly shifted to identifying as a trans man. I think a lot of my feelings were influenced by what I read and saw online; it gave me a framework to interpret all my struggles as being caused by gender dysphoria.
I began taking testosterone when I was 21. I was convinced it was the only way to fix the discomfort I felt. For a while, it did make me feel better. The changes were exciting and new, and it felt like I was finally taking control. I even got top surgery. But after the initial excitement faded, around the two-year mark, I started to realize that the underlying issues were still there. The depression and anxiety hadn’t magically gone away; they were just masked by the process of transition.
I stopped testosterone when I was 23. My voice had dropped, but it became very unstable and started cracking all the time, which was frustrating. My body changed, but my mind wasn't at peace. I began to seriously question everything. I started therapy that wasn't just about affirming my gender, but about digging into my past and my mental health. This was incredibly helpful. I was able to work through a lot of my trauma and low self-esteem, and I began to understand that my problem wasn't with being female, but with being me.
I don’t regret my transition in the sense that I needed to go through it to get to where I am now. It was a necessary part of my journey to understanding myself. But I do regret not exploring other options more thoroughly first, like therapy for my body dysmorphia. I also regret that I am now infertile because of the hormones. That is a permanent consequence I have to live with.
My thoughts on gender now are that it’s a very personal and complicated thing. For some people, transitioning is absolutely the right choice and brings them real happiness. For me, it wasn’t. My discomfort was rooted in other psychological issues. I’ve learned to accept my female body. I don’t really think about "gender" anymore; I just focus on being a person.
Here is a timeline of my journey:
| My Age | Year | Event |
|---|---|---|
| 13 | 2012 | Started puberty; began feeling intense discomfort with my body and breasts. |
| 17-20 | 2016-2019 | Spent a lot of time online; identified first as non-binary, then as a trans man. |
| 21 | 2020 | Started taking testosterone. |
| 22 | 2021 | Underwent top surgery. |
| 23 | Late 2022 | Stopped testosterone therapy. |
| 23-24 | 2022-2023 | Began non-affirming therapy to address trauma, depression, and body dysmorphia. |
Top Comments by /u/DangerousAnalysis362:
Gender critical beliefs are just that - beliefs. And I say this as someone who is 2 inches shy of being a terf. GCs can always point to the lack of evidence for the existence of an innate gender, the ludicrousness of saying that one can feel like a woman etc. None of it changes the fact that thousands of people have transitioned; and transitioning has brought them joy and comfort.
This lack of scientific evidence doesn't matter on an individual level; it is only relevant when making policy decisions or laws. And as long as you aren't harming anyone, it doesn't matter what your decision ends up being. This doesn't mean that you should transition, since there are non transitioning ways to deal with gender dysphoria, what you have may not be gd, and even if it is, it may naturally go away on its own. But don't hate yourself for the way you feel. Think about why you feel the way you do and remember that no matter what decision you make, you did the best you could in the situation.
I think it might be helpful for you to look at what "being trans" means to you first. Do you want to fill the social role of a woman? Do you want your body to resemble a female body? Do you just want to be seen as a not-man? (Something a lot of detrans men here have spoken about). Once you are more clear there, you can figure out how to go forward.
For example, if you have body dysphoria, you can either physically transition or you can try CBT; whatever you think will best work for you. This will take a decent bit of effort and I know that sometimes it feels easier to just repress it all but in the long run it works out better to actually understand what you want.
The gender critical beliefs are an entirely separate issue, but as far as it comes to body dysphoria/dysmorphia, The_Drider raises some solid points. I second the suggestion that you see a therapist for CPTSD and general dysmorphia. There are a few studies which claim that gender dysphoria may be caused by issues with the brain mapping the body wrong due to androgen imbalance in the womb; ie, the brain thinks it is in a female body while the body itself is male. This theory isn't very popular among trans people but you may want to look into it. Suggestions for treating this tend to be rather similar to treatment for Body Integrity Dysphoria (so basically CBT)
Sorry for not replying sooner but CBT is Cognitive Behavioural Therapy. It's the accepted treatment for body dysmorphia (so anorexia, body integrity disorder, surgery addiction etc). If the issues you have with your body are physical then this might be the treatment for you
I have the same problem! Stopped T a bit less than a year and a half ago, and my voice pitch is all over the place (though it has evened out a bit over the last year) and cracks like a teenage boy's.
I made a post on this a while back and the only tip was vocal training. I'm not sure how useful it'll be since a cracking voice is caused by the voice box changing and I guess ours is stuck in the inbetween phase. I plan to try it if nothing changes within 2 years.
Something I noticed is my voice is more likely to crack if I'm trying to be loud. So when I'm shouting, I project from my chest instead of my usual head speaking voice. The pitch comes out different but it stays even (for short sentences).