This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account appears authentic.
There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or an inauthentic persona. The comments show:
- Consistent personal narrative: The user shares a coherent and emotionally detailed story about detransitioning/desisting due to trauma, bullying, and social pressures, which remains consistent across several months.
- Emotional complexity: The writing expresses a genuine mix of anger, confusion, regret, vulnerability, and hope. This emotional depth is difficult to fabricate consistently.
- Natural language: The comments include conversational elements, self-corrections ("haha.."), and personal reflections that read like a real person processing their experiences.
The account's activity pattern and the content align with a genuine individual who is a desister (someone who stopped identifying as trans without medically transitioning) navigating a difficult and emotional process.
About me
My whole journey started because I was bullied and felt awful about being a girl, and I found hope online that transition was a perfect solution. I was so close to taking hormones in my teens, but at 20, I saw the real surgical results and realized I had been completely misled. I finally understood my desire wasn't to be a man, but to escape being a woman because of my past trauma. Now, I'm trying to find a way to be comfortable as a masculine woman, but it's a confusing and painful process. My biggest regret is that no professional ever asked me about my trauma, and I had to figure this all out on my own.
My detransition story
My whole journey with transition and now detransition has been one of the most confusing and painful experiences of my life. Looking back, I can see now that it was all rooted in trauma. I never felt like I fit in anywhere. I didn't have real friends, and the bullying I went through, especially from guys at school, made me feel awful about myself. They were nasty and made me feel like being a girl was something weak and negative. The girls around me seemed to reinforce that idea, and I started to hate everything associated with being female.
I think a big part of it was that I felt uncomfortable and unsafe around men. The thought of being seen as a girl near the men in my own family made me feel deeply uneasy. I started to believe that if I could just stop being a girl, all of that discomfort and pain would go away. I found a lot of this information online when I was around 15 to 17 years old. I read that transition was the answer and that surgeries, especially bottom surgery, were accurate and realistic-looking. I was young and didn't do proper research; I just believed what I read, and it gave me this hope for a perfect solution.
I never ended up taking testosterone or having any surgeries, and I am so incredibly grateful for that now. When I was 20, I actually looked into it properly, at the results and the reality of it all. Seeing photos was a huge turn-off and made me cry. I realized that what I had read about surgeries being perfect was the biggest lie I had ever encountered. It was a shocking wake-up call.
That's when I started to realize my desire to transition wasn't about being a man. It was about escaping from being a woman because of my past trauma and low self-esteem. I had such negative associations with being female that I wanted to completely erase that part of me. Now, I'm trying to find a way to be comfortable as a woman, but it's really hard. I still like to dress in a masculine way, but I want to do it in a feminine way, if that makes sense. I want to be able to wear a swimsuit without feeling like I have to bind my chest, which I hate. I have very low confidence, and I know the bullying I experienced is a big reason why I feel this way.
I’m struggling a lot with people misgendering me. Even though I'm detransitioning and growing my hair out, people still mistake me for a guy because I hide my body in baggy clothes. It makes me so angry when people are disrespectful and don't use she/her pronouns, but at the same time, I find it hard to accept those words for myself right now. It's a confusing place to be.
I don't regret exploring transition because it led me to understand myself better. I went through that long, painful process to find out that I don't want to change myself. But I also don't want to go back to who I was before. I'm trying to find a new way to be me, a masculine female. I'm even thinking about my name. I have a female name that my mom gave me, and I feel bad about throwing it away, but I found a nickname for it that I really like from a gaming account. Maybe I can use my original name as a middle name, like my older sister did.
My main regret is that no one—not the doctors, psychologists, or psychiatrists I saw—ever stopped to ask me about trauma. They never explored that with me. I had to figure it out all on my own. Now, I'm just trying to learn to love myself.
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 15-17 | Started researching transition online. Believed surgeries were a perfect solution. Felt intense discomfort with being female due to bullying and trauma. |
| 20 | Researched transition outcomes seriously. Saw photos of surgical results and realized I had been misled. Began to understand my feelings were rooted in trauma, not in being trans. |
| 20 | Began the process of detransitioning/desisting. Started growing hair out and struggling to reconnect with being female. |
Top Comments by /u/Delicious-Praline981:
I know it feels like a waste, but you went through all this to now realize this isn’t what you want, thats what it means to find yourself. Everything you do, you do because you want to know who YOU are. Phases and confusion is normal, many people go through it (even me) I get your anger but now you know this isn’t who you wanted to be. Love yourself.
Thank you, I am 20 and as I've heard, read and learned is that it is normal to feel regret and see reality in your 20's. I thought that was BS before I turned 20. I know someone pass 20 and still wants to transition, no problem, they are 100% sure, but I'm one of many who arent sure.
If you don't mind me asking, What is desist?
I love this comment. The photos was absoultely a turn off, i was crying looking at them because this is not what I wanted, ever. I was 15-17 when I hadn't looked at result or done any kind of research, so I thought the whole surgery and testosterone thing was going to turn out perfect because the only thing I had read on the internet was that "bottom surgeries are accurate a realistic looking"- I am 20 now and after all the research I've done and all the pictures I've seen, saying that "bottom surgeries is accurate looking" is the biggest lie I have ever read.
I really do hope it's possible to get used the being called anything related to "female" It's just really hard to believe it is right now, I have some people who misgender me still, and I guess I am just so mad that they choose to be disrespectful towards me I just can't accept the word "girl" "she" in my life. It's really hard.
And I also feel very uncomfortable about the thought of being a girl near men like the men in my family. I forgot to mention this in my post
Thank you, and thank you for taking your time to stop by this post and share your comments♥ It's nice to have a little comfort, even from a stranger. Something I don't get from family or people I know because they don't know my struggle right now😔 It means a lot
I found out myself it was because of trauma. Nobody, I mean doctors, transition doctors, psychologists, psychiatrists etc.. all that, and none of them told me anything. Went through a long, slow and extremely painful process just to find out for myself that I don’t want to change myself, It was trauma. I don’t want to change myself, But I also don’t want to go back to who I was.
I do want to yes. Well I really like the baggy pants and tight shirt combination because I still like to dress masculine but I want to dress masculine in a "feminine" way? Sorry if that came out wrong or didn't make sense, I don't know what words to use haha..
I do feel comfortable wearing tigher clothes but I just don't feel comfortable doing it around family or public. But when I hide my body people mistake me for a guy even though I am growing my hair out and I never started taking testosterone. I really want to be able to wear swimsuits aswell, because whenever I go swimming I wear a binder which I HATE!
I want to wear a swimsuit that doesnt suffocate me you know.
I do have really low confidence tho, maybe that is why? I have been bullied and harassed by guys back in the days when I was still a female. I am wondering if that is why I am like this, or if it's normal to feel this way early in detransitioning/desisting.
But you are right, I should try wear less baggy stuff. Less, and then lesser.
Thanks for the advice, or suggestion. I am into gaming, playing random games, I have 2 accounts, one with a name similar to my female name actually, i really like that name, it sounds like a nickname of my actualy female name. I would definitely change my name to that, but also i keep thinking about the fact my mom named me and im just gonna throw it away.
my bigger sister changed her name but used her first name as a middle name. Maybe thats a possibility. hmmm
what makes you feel disgusted about being a girl? What do you think could have caused you to have such negative associations with being a girl?
I believe it has to do with my past, I haven't had the best life. Never fitted in anywhere, no real friends, I had guys in my class and school making me feel real shitty about myself like being nasty and all that. and also girls making the female gender look weak and all the negative stuff, if you know what i mean.
And now I just feel uncomfortable being around boys and men as a "woman" I find it impossible to see myself comfortable around them, I like girls, I don't like the kind of girls who are known as "copy and pastes" you know? I feel like I would maybe being with another female would maybe, just maybe help me find comfort in being a female myself, a masculine female tho
The reason why some detransition could be the same reason why they transitioned. My example is trauma, thats my reason. Trauma can do a lot of things, even make you question yourself as a gender yep.. There are plenty of other reasons, but this is mine.