My dad said something to me recently that really brought a lot into perspective and has helped me deal with this same issue. He said some people are going to judge and that's on them but that I am the one punishing myself all the time, and that if I want to stop being hyper focused on my identity I need to make a decision to do just that, and try to just live normally and quit worrying about it all the time because it's making me unhappy. Everyone has junk from their past they don't like, ours is just more visible. If someone asks, just answer, but we don't need to bring it up all the time. We need to forgive ourselves, forgive others, and move on. I know it's easier said than done but it is helping me move past stuff that's holding me back.

This is so true, it just speaks volumes to the bias of the transgender groupthink. I was told many times that cisgender and even heterosexuality was a myth, that everyone was gender fluid and queer, and everyone who didn't think so was a sheep with their eyes closed or in denial of basic truth. I was groomed and programmed to the point where that colored my entire worldview. It literally tainted nearly my every thought. I judged everyone, holding trans people above others as having been more enlightened. I am the only one from my group to detrans, and I have been ostracized and harassed and treated like the scum of the earth. I realize it's because they hold themselves up so high above others, they think I was allowed a glimpse into heaven and chose hell instead. So detransitioning to them is way worse than having never transitioned. Their views are so narrow they've made trans a devout religion, so a detrans bet to them would be sacrilegious.

I don't agree. I think that's something that you share on a first or second date, not necessarily beforehand. But I've never dated anyone violent. The only violent people I know are trans women who went from "your body your choice" to "your setting society back by 100 years and I hate you" when I detransed.

I think the ends may very well justify the means. This is the kind of thing that drives me crazy with so many people. I've talked to other people and they're like "This is good but I still hate it because it's Trump." If you support the action, why does it matter how you feel about Trump? I don't like him either, but I am happy that he is doing this thing in particular. This is an example of people needing to get over their own biases. If a politician you don't like does something you do like then take it as a win, there's no point in resenting it because of who it came from, that's just idiotic political thinking.

Makeup is really the main thing that would help feminize your look right now. I never wore makeup until I detransed, I found someone to help me out and it made a world of difference (and I present masc much more than you). First time I looked like a girl in my life. If it's worth it to you, a wig would also help, but I didn't think it's really necessary.

Get a new doctor. Your doctor obviously doesn't want you to detrans and will do whatever he can to stop you because you lose value to him. My doctor only wanted two things, to say that he was an expert in trans (he literally advertised this) and to cash them checks. He even scheduled top surgery for me after I told him twice I didn't want it. Run away and never look back.

I felt like the wool was removed from my eyes. It was fast like a tornado. My thinking flipped so quickly, I was confused, angry, sad, happy, etc. I also am still struggling with my sexuality, and my sense of self and identity, but I finally feel like I'm on the right path. I am resentful for sure, but I've decided to take a "better late than never" approach rather than a bitter one. Throw absolutely everything out, everything everyone thinks, opinions, politics, worries, etc. and just be who you are. Be you, unburdened. It's so refreshing and freeing and enlightening.

I tried to be a boy for years before accepting I am a girl. A friend recently told me that society has been manipulated to leave us feeling lost, confused, and depressed, so that we are in a constant state of being frozen up and unable to think straight or cope. Why? So they can control us. I would've laughed at this as some right wing bullshit until recently. Now I'm seeing the truth in it, and seeing what robots my former trans circle friends are. Its easier said than done, but I recommend you take a break from worrying about your gender and your pronouns and even your sexuality and just relax and be you, a day at time. It will put everything what into perspective.

I still think it's possible, like as a medical or chromosome condition, but I know I have never met one. I have come to realize that every single trans person I have ever met was either manipulated like I was or starving for attention. It's been an almost overwhelming shock, like I've had this block in my brain that been removed and my whole worldview has transformed. I'm struggling with it, but I could never go back

I came out to my girlfriend in confidence pretty much right away. Then she almost immediately dumped me and outed me to our entire friend group who promptly ostracized me and began attacking and harassing me for my decision.

I had a triggering event where my mom and doctor went ahead and scheduled top surgery for me after I told them very firmly that I didn't want to do it. I was already getting upset at them making decisions without my input, and that was the final straw. I had just turned 18 and I wasn't going to be treated like their little trans doll anymore, to be examined and poked and prodded and squeezed, to be brought out at parties and made to perform in front of the guests.

From there it was a mental peeling back of layers where I realized just how manipulated I was and how unhappy I was, and frankly how ridiculous the last four years of my life had been. I missed out on a normal high school experience, and everything always revolved around transitioning. I was sick of it, I was depressed, I was suicidal. I actually felt a weight lifted off of my chest when I decided to detransition.

The way it happened unfortunately was very difficult. The people I thought loved me were vile and toxic to me the second I stopped during their mold for who I was supposed to be. I'm finally starting to heal, and I'm actually happy that I got to see people's true colors so I knew who to cut from my life.

One major thing that I learned though is that you don't owe anyone an explanation, you don't have to tell anyone what you're doing with your own body, and amazingly you don't have to constantly think about it either. That's been perhaps the greatest gift I've received, I finally have space in my head for other subjects, and it's wonderful!

Much love to you as you go through this difficult season. We're here with you, I'm always happy to chat and offer what support I can. 🫂