This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or a bad-faith actor.
The user's posts show:
- Internal Consistency: The narrative is coherent and evolves naturally over time, from pre-detransition anxiety to a later, separate concern about breast cancer.
- Complex, Personal Detail: The comments contain specific, nuanced feelings (fear of losing sensation, family support, insurance logistics) that are typical of genuine human experience and difficult to fabricate consistently.
- Emotional Authenticity: The expressed fear, confusion, and internal conflict are consistent with someone grappling with a difficult personal decision.
About me
I started transitioning because I felt out of place as a woman and thought being a man was the answer. I took testosterone and planned top surgery, but I realized I was trying to escape my body image issues, not my female self. I canceled the surgery when I knew I would regret it, terrified of disappointing my supportive family. I now understand my journey was about my own insecurities, not my gender. I am living as a woman again and learning to accept my body for what it is.
My detransition story
My whole journey with transition started because I felt out of place. I was born female, but I never felt like I fit in as a girl. Looking back, a lot of that was tied up with body issues, mainly about my weight, and just a general feeling of discomfort. I didn't know any trans people, but when I learned about being transgender, it felt like an answer. It was a way to fit in and have an explanation for why I felt so wrong.
I started identifying as a trans man and began taking testosterone. My family and friends were incredibly supportive, which I'm still grateful for. They never questioned me. But as time went on, I started to feel a new kind of discomfort. I realized that trying to be a feminine man didn't feel right either. It wasn't me. I thought, "well, there are feminine guys," but living that way showed me that my problem wasn't with being a woman; it was with the expectations and my own self-image. I wanted to be feminine, but in a female way, not a male way.
The biggest turning point was when I had top surgery scheduled. I was planning to move to Germany for school and felt this huge time pressure to get it done before I left. I was terrified. I was afraid of losing sensation and being unhappy with how my chest looked. I knew deep down that I would probably regret it. I spent a lot of time going back and forth, scared to make a decision. I was also scared to tell everyone. I worried that if I detransitioned, my family and friends wouldn't take me seriously ever again, especially after all the support they'd given me. I felt like it would be a slap in the face to them.
I decided to cancel the surgery. I realized that for me, being trans was an escape from dealing with my real issues, like my low self-esteem and the body dysmorphia I had around my weight. I was using transition as a solution for problems it couldn't fix.
A few months later, I faced a separate, serious health decision. There's an extensive history of breast cancer in my family, with many relatives getting it young. I knew I would likely need a preventative mastectomy at some point to avoid getting cancer. For a brief moment, I considered using the top surgery path again because my insurance would cover it, whereas a preventative mastectomy might not be covered since we don't have a known genetic marker. But I thought about it more and realized that a mastectomy with the possibility of future reconstruction was what I actually needed. Top surgery is sculpted to look a certain way, and it wasn't the same thing. My breasts were going to be removed either way because I didn't want to die, but I wanted the option to have a reconstruction that looked natural for me as a woman.
I don't regret exploring transition. I think I needed to go through it to understand myself better. But I do regret not looking deeper into my own mind and my issues sooner. I'm now living as a woman again, and it feels right. I'm working on accepting my body and dealing with my insecurities in a healthier way. Telling my friends and family was hard, but they were supportive, just as they had been before. One of my friends had also detransitioned, and talking to them was a huge help.
Here is a timeline of the main events:
| My Age | Event |
|---|---|
| Late Teens | Began identifying as a trans man and started taking testosterone. |
| 21 (June 2020) | Had top surgery scheduled but cancelled it after serious doubts. Began the process of detransitioning and stopped testosterone. |
| 21 (October 2020) | Decided to pursue a preventative mastectomy for breast cancer risk, separate from gender transition, with plans for future reconstruction. |
Top Comments by /u/DepressedPieceOfShxt:
Thank you! I think I will wait. I’m too afraid of regretting this. I just don’t know how to navigate any of it. I don’t know how to tell my parents, or my friends, or how to stop testosterone. I know they will most likely support me. They’ve never given any indication that they wouldn’t, even when I questioned my transition before. I’m just scared they won’t take me seriously, or that my parents would be mad after all the time and money they spent to help me transition. They were always so supportive, I feel like it’d just be a major slap in the face to them.
You’re right. I just felt so much time pressure with the surgery because I was planning on moving to Germany for school (I live in the US), and I wanted to not have to navigate any medical stuff over there. I’m afraid of losing sensation and the appearance of my chest. I know I’d probably regret top surgery if I got it. Honestly I’m just scared to make a decision. If I cancel it now, I don’t know when I’d ever get it if I decide to. I know it’s stupid, but I just go back and forth on things a lot.
I know I shouldn’t, I just know that I will most likely have breast cancer at some point if I don’t get a mastectomy. Most in my family have had it quite young as well, so I worry that I’ll miss my window of opportunity here. I’d prefer to just get a normal mastectomy with reconstruction, but I don’t know if insurance will cover it, which is why I’m considering just doing top surgery to get it paid for.
It’s not that I don’t want breasts. My question was, since my family has an extensive history of breast cancer (at quite young ages), if it would be worth it to do top surgery instead of scheduling an actual mastectomy. My insurance would cover the top surgery, but not mastectomy since we have no known genetic markers for breast cancer.
The breasts are going either way since I don’t wanna die. But I’ve decided to just have an actual mastectomy since that allows for breast reconstruction after.
Thank you for your advice. I really needed someone to talk to about this who wasn’t close to me. I think realizing that being feminine as a guy didn’t feel the same is also what pushed me into thinking about this more. Like every time I questioned my transition I’d just say “well there are feminine guys out there” but honestly trying to live like that showed me that that’s not who I am.
I’m going to try to reach out to my friends and talk to them about it. One of them detransitioned as well a while ago, so maybe they’d be able to help some more. At least I graduated this year, so I’ll only really have to tell my few friends and family. That probably makes it a lot easier
Thank you! I think for me being trans was just a way to fit in at first. I didn’t know any trans people, but I felt so out of place as a girl and had some body issues (mainly weight related now that I’m looking back on it). Eventually I just grew into the role I guess.
I think I’ll try to figure this out, talk to some people, try to get off hormones, and cancel the surgery. That’s generally what I was planning on doing, but I’m just nervous about change. It seems like that’s the general consensus here at least, and I feel supported in a way
That’s true. The surgeons I consulted with told me there was still a risk, but that it would incredibly low compared to my current risk. I’m not sure how that compares to a mastectomy, since apparently those don’t always eliminate risk either?
Thank you for explaining the differences to me. I know how top surgery/mastectomies differ, but for some reason didn’t consider the sculpting that goes into top surgery. Reconstruction is really what I’d be going for eventually, so I guess I wouldn’t be doing top surgery after all.
Yea, I feel like a whole part of me is being suppressed because of this. I was always pretty feminine, and now I’m scared to show it. But I don’t really feel feminine in a male way if that makes sense. A lot of what I’ve seen about detransitioning is people coming to terms with just being gender non conforming or butch, but I’m honestly not either of those. I think if I were living as a woman, then I’d be pretty feminine.
I just don’t know what to do now. How long do I think about this before I make a decision? What do I even tell people? My whole family and all of my friends know, and I’m scared that if I detransition they’ll never take me seriously again in the future.