This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or a bad-faith actor.
The comments show:
- Internal consistency in describing a long-term struggle with gender dysphoria since childhood, desisting due to religious conversion, and the ongoing difficulty of managing these feelings.
- Complex, nuanced, and personal reflections that are characteristic of genuine human experience, not scripted talking points. The user explores contradictions in their own feelings and society's views.
- A clear, sustained personal narrative over six months, including specific details about family, marriage, and religion.
The passion and strong opinions expressed are consistent with the genuine perspective of a desister.
About me
I was born female and my discomfort with my body and envy of my siblings started when I was just seven. My journey was deeply tied to my mental health, and I saw my dysphoria get worse when I felt incompetent or bored. I even tried escaping into a very strict religion, but that only made me feel more isolated and condemned. I now see my dysphoria as a mental health issue that I have to manage by changing how I view myself, not by changing my body. While the feelings are still there, I believe it was a mistake to consider transition, and that realization helps me stay on a different path.
My detransition story
My whole journey with gender has been complicated and deeply tied to my mental health. I was born female, and I remember feeling a sense of envy towards my siblings and a discomfort with my own body starting from a very young age, around seven. This feeling never really went away. As I grew up, I never felt like I fit in with what society expected of a girl or a woman. I also found out I'm autistic, which I think made me see things from a completely different perspective and made social interaction difficult.
I grew up in a home that was Christian in name, but it wasn't a strict religious environment. My dad wasn't around much and had very rigid ideas about gender roles, which I think was a source of a lot of my trouble. My mother was more genuinely religious. As an adult, I got married and my wife and I experimented with completely reversing our roles in the relationship. We went pretty far down that path, and I know that if we had continued, I likely would have started to physically transition.
Around that time, my wife and I had a major religious shift and converted to a very traditional, conservative group. In a way, I think I was running from my problems. For nearly five years, the struggle was entirely in my head. I didn't do anything outward, but the feelings of dysphoria were always there. I learned that when I felt incompetent, or like I didn't fit society's norms, or was just terribly bored, the dysphoria would get much worse. Chasing religion didn't fix my problem. It just made me feel more condemned and isolated because the people in my new community didn't understand. They either wanted to condemn me as a horrible person or didn't want to talk about it at all. I just wanted someone to help me figure out the root causes and manage my thoughts, not just tell me I was wrong.
About two years ago, I feel like I lost my sanity. I became obsessed, looking at surgeries and all sorts of things. It was a madness that thankfully settled back down into a low-grade level of struggle that I’ve had for years. I was desperate enough that I even thought about wanting to find a form of conversion therapy, even though I know that's not possible or right.
I see my gender dysphoria as a mental health problem, similar to anorexia or body dysmorphia. I believe you would never treat anorexia by telling someone it's okay to starve themselves, and I feel the same way about dysphoria. For me, affirmation would have been the wrong path. I have to change how I view my body and myself. I don't think I will ever be what I want to be, and the cost of trying—even just the mental cost of my short journey—was too high for no real gain.
I do have regrets. I regret ever going as far as I did in considering transition, and I regret the mental space it has taken up in my life for so long. While I never took hormones or had any surgeries, so I have no physical damage and I'm still fertile, the psychological toll has been heavy. The feelings of dysphoria that started when I was seven are still there, and I still have to deal with them. It isn't easy.
I now believe it's never too late to change your direction. Our minds have a wonderful plasticity, even if some things we might do to our bodies are semi-permanent. For me, admitting that considering transition was a mistake creates a reason for me not to go down that road again.
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 7 | First memories of body discomfort and envy of siblings. |
| Early 20s | Married; experimented with extreme role reversal in the relationship. |
| Mid 20s | Converted to a traditional conservative religious group. Struggled internally with dysphoria for ~5 years. |
| 30 | Period of intense obsession with surgical options; felt like I "lost my sanity." |
| 32 (now) | Recognized transition would be a mistake. Focused on managing dysphoria as a mental health issue. |
Top Comments by /u/Desistedthrowaway1:
While I agree with the thought of waiting on the hormones, its ironic that they want you to wait. Think about it from the doctor's perspective, perhaps they want to make sure this is really what you want, no gate keeping resulted in you doing something you regret and while you are convinced this is the right action for you now, how is the gate keeping any different then what you wanted the first time?
I lost my sanity or at least that's how I would describe it about two years ago... I was looking at surgeries and all sorts of madness... Thankfully that settled down again into more of a low grade level thats been going on for years but still... I don't want to do something stupid to myself. In my opinion, its never too late. There are costs for certain things we do, but we can always change our direction later. Yeah maybe things done to our body is semi permanent but our mind has wonderful plasticity. At the same time... our mind has plasticity...
I can't relate to someone who has done surgical interventions or even hormonal therapy but I think having flair tags would by an easy way to communicate that you don't want my input on a subject. I don't post that often and I don't think I've done this but just because I haven't had surgery doesn't mean I don't have a shared experience with detrans. The same reasons they might have transitioned exists in me and its because of them that I can see reality more clearly. Also, were would intersex fit in with this? would those posters not get activity due to the rareness of the problem and no shared experience?
I love these stupid logic puzzles! the guy could always walk onto the wrong track anyway! If there is a child in the middle of the road or a school bus and your brakes failed, do you hit the single child? or the school bus with more children? Of course not! drive over the cliff and fall down and hit the middle school down below... No win logical traps that are specifically designed to discredit someone's claim. I think the intention is about gate keeping saving the person who ends up making a mistake versus the several others who get denied the vital treatment they desire. You can set up this scenario to almost any situation intentionally playing off of the notion that "the needs of the many, outweigh the needs of the few" Now if this scenario was actually as it stood, the answer would be obvious. The possible risk of killing 1 versus the certain risk of killing several. However my answer to that would be the same even if the people tied up were horrible people or really good people. It wouldn't change if the 1 person who might end on the track was the best person in the world. Even if you changed the scenario to 1 person tied up and 1 person wandering my answer would still be to avoid the certain risk versus the unknown. Again though, the intention is not actually about risk evaluation. If the person really cannot be denied transition then really the target of their ire should be the insurance companies, not the gate keeping.
Look into people with prostate cancer, they take lupron to manage the cancer on a regular basis. If anyone would have figured out the joint pain problem it likely would be among those who have been taking it prior to wide spread use among the transgender community.
its interesting to me that when the focus is on its a journey rather then it was a mistake, what happens after when the feelings of dysphoria are still there. Admitting it was a mistake for myself creates a reason to not do it again. Saying the idea was correct then is too close to saying it is correct later. I will never be what I want and the cost of even the experience of my short journey was costly. While I never went as far as some on here and have no actual damage to my body, the lessons of my life are clear and somewhat its beneficial to remember that the cost is too high for no true gain. At the same time, my dysphoria from as young as 7 is still there and I still need to deal with my feelings and that isn't easy.
its complicated... While I don't want to pretend/transition, I don't want someone being judgmental either. The untrained people I had asked for advice and support were fairly condemning in how they came across. I'm sure they meant well but I don't really want someone ready to tell me how wrong it is when I already believe it would be wrong for me. I'd rather they help me figure out the root causes and help me manage my thoughts better.
in some ways I'd like to find a conversion therapy... but I know that its not possible. I basically have desires but I don't think I am, yet at the same time its been there since I was a young child. That makes it complicated to a certain degree and I don't know how much of it is nature/nurture... I know religion seems to be frowned on here but my experience with religion is deeply tied in with desisting and why I converted as an adult. That being said... its not enough to fix my problems. Thanks for your suggestions
I once said something to someone about regret and they threw it back at me saying "you wanted this" At least you get a better idea about you genuinely cares about you. Or at the very least, the person who actually take the time to try to understand wouldn't say this.
Personally, I believe there is likely some genetic marker making people more predisposed to some problems like diabetes or alcoholism. Possibly the same is true for dysphoria but I don't know.
I don't think God creates us to sin, we do that to ourselves. Now if you believe transgenderism is sin, then conduct yourself accordingly. My group doesn't understand and its caused some problems trying to seek help from them... its like you either have people jumping up and down to affirm you and convince you to transition or you have people condemning you as a horrible person that they don't want to ever be around. Why can't they show they care about you while still expressing views? I believe that anorexia is never treated by telling the person its okay to starve themselves and likewise with dysphoria... at least thats my opinion for what its worth.