This story is from the comments by /u/DetraBlues that are listed below, summarised with AI.
User Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the comments provided, the account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or a bad-faith actor.
The user's comments show:
- Consistent personal history: They repeatedly reference their own experience of being on testosterone for 4 years, starting as a teenager, and detransitioning around age 18.
- Nuanced and developed viewpoints: Their advice is complex, referencing specific therapies (DBT, CBT), discussing the philosophy of gender identity, and offering practical tips for coping with dysphoria and the social aspects of detransition.
- Emotional authenticity: The tone ranges from supportive and empathetic to frustrated and disappointed in debates, which aligns with the passion and hurt mentioned in the prompt.
- Long-term engagement: The comments span from 2019 to 2024, showing a sustained engagement with the topic over time.
The account exhibits the hallmarks of a real person sharing their genuine experience as a detransitioner.
About me
I was a masculine girl who never fit in, and my deep discomfort with my body led me to start identifying as male and taking testosterone at 14. I now see my dysphoria was tied to not liking female stereotypes and was worsened by my OCD, acting like an obsessive thought I couldn't escape. After working on my mental health and learning to manage the dysphoria, it faded, and I realized I wasn't a man, so I stopped testosterone at 18. The physical and social process of detransition was difficult, but I've found peace in simply being a masculine woman. I'm comfortable now just being me, accepting my body without needing any labels.
My detransition story
My whole journey with transition and detransition started when I was really young. I was a masculine girl who never fit in, and I felt a deep discomfort with my body and how society saw me. I started identifying as trans and began socially transitioning around age 14. I was diagnosed with gender dysphoria and ended up taking testosterone for about four years, from age 14 to 18.
During that time, I passed as male and lived as a guy. A lot of my feelings were wrapped up in not liking the expectations placed on women and feeling like I couldn't just be a masculine woman. There wasn't any representation for someone like me, so transitioning felt like the only way out. I also struggled with OCD and anxiety, and I now see that my dysphoria acted a lot like an obsessive thought pattern—I couldn't stop ruminating on gender and my body.
My dysphoria was very real and intense, but over time, especially after working on my mental health and learning to treat my dysphoria like any other mental illness, it began to fade. By the time I was 17, it had pretty much disappeared. I realized that transitioning hadn’t been the right solution for me. I didn’t want to be on testosterone anymore for health reasons, and it felt dishonest to keep living as a man when I wasn’t one. So, at 18, I decided to detransition.
Coming off testosterone was tough. My body went through a lot of changes, and I had to deal with hormonal imbalances, anemia, and other health issues for a while. My voice stayed low, and my hairline had changed, but eventually, a lot of things settled. I never had top surgery, but my chest did change after stopping T—it didn’t go back to how it was before, but it became more noticeable again.
Socially, detransitioning was hard. I had to tell my friends and family, and some people didn’t take it well, especially those in very online queer spaces. But my close family, especially my mom, was supportive once I explained that my dysphoria had gone away and that this was a positive step for me. I kept my male name for a while because I liked it, and I didn’t feel the need to change everything back right away. I still dress and act the same—very masculine—and I often get mistaken for a man, but I don’t correct people most of the time because it doesn’t change what I am. I’m a woman, and that’s that.
I don’t really believe in gender identity anymore. I think most people just are their bodies, and all the social stuff is made up. For me, being a woman isn’t about identity; it’s just a fact of my body. I don’t identify as anything—I’m just me. I think a lot of my transition was influenced by internalized homophobia and not seeing any other options for masculine women. I also think the online communities I was in pushed transition as the only solution, and I didn’t have other tools to deal with my dysphoria at the time.
I don’t regret transitioning because it was a part of my journey, and it helped me learn about myself. But I also know it wasn’t the right path for me long-term. I regret that I wasn’t given other options or taught how to manage my dysphoria without medical intervention. I benefited a lot from learning to treat my dysphoria like OCD or anxiety—recognizing the thoughts as intrusive and not truths, and working to break the cycle of rumination. That was what really helped me heal.
Now, I’m just living my life as a masculine woman. I’m comfortable with who I am, and I’ve found a lot of peace in accepting my body and not worrying about labels or what other people think.
Here’s a timeline of my transition and detransition events:
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 14 | Started socially transitioning and identifying as male |
| 14 | Began testosterone (T) |
| 15 | Entered high school fully transitioned and passing as male |
| 17 | Dysphoria began to fade significantly |
| 18 | Stopped testosterone after ~4 years on T |
| 18 | Began social detransition |
| 18 | Started dealing with health issues from stopping T |
Top Reddit Comments by /u/DetraBlues:
firstly, cancel the orchiectomy. you shouldnt do such a serious surgery unless you are 110% sure about it.
aside from that, i really recommend you just explore different presentations. give yourself a break. if transitioning isnt good for you anymore, just know things will be okay, and give yourself some time and think about whether you want to keep at it or if youd rather go back to being a guy. please know you can dress however you want either way. be kind to yourself.
i had to go back to my endocrinologist for a """theoretically""" unrelated hormonal condition. he essentially called me a life long psych patient and said taking too much vitamin d can have long term effects but taking androgenizing levels of testosterone wont, then repeated that "i chose to do this." which, yes, but also i was 14. ans its the only options presented to dysphoric people.
prior to this he had considered me a star patient and a perfecr example of a well adjusted trans person. in the appointment before this i mentioned i was going to detranaition and he said he's seen it happen over the years. I guess the confirmation that I was actually serious about it via the 2nd appointment was enough to make him angry that I wasn't his perfect patient model and that he was afraid of getting sued.
If you are 18 you'll graduate this year, right? I medically transitioned at 15 and entered highschool transitioned and passing. I decided to detransition when i was 17, I just waited until I graduated to socially desist. I told my friends and family so the people I cared about knew, but no one else, even rooming with some dudes on a band trip right towards the end. Honestly, now is time for you to become comfortable with yourself. If you want to desist now, do it. But it won't be the end of the world if you don't, you can just do it after you graduate. I will say it felt kind of weird to do something important like graduating while faking being male. But like the other posters have said, your classmates probably won't care, regardless of whatever you've done. It's just not that big of a deal. You've decided to desist, I recommend just letting yourself chill for a bit and not worry about it. This is a small part of your life. Be who you are, be comfortable with yourself.
Honey your whole screed is what pushed a large chunk of us to transition in the first place. Women and men don't have to act like anything. The roles assigned to us on the basis of our sex are arbitrary, change between location and across time, and are extremely harmful. Case in point: you sound deeply, deeply unhappy.
your body belongs to you — however, yes, what you do has impacts on other people. i never saw ANY masculine women until after i had transitioned. i've talked with older women and they've told me how gutwrenchingly hard it was to stand strong while all their other butch friends transitioned in the 90s — easier to be a straight man than a butch lesbian.
the other commentors are right, you are an individual and your body absolutely, wholly belongs to you. but also, what you do and what you say does not exist in a vacuum, and just like how you are influenced by others actions, you influence others with your own words and ways.
Honestly you sound very similar to how I did. Sorry if that's not helpful, but yes, pretty much the exact same feelings about it all. And I was transitioned for 4 years before realizing my dysphoria just... went away. So I went off testosterone and have just been vibing as a very masculine woman. I do everything pretty much the same as when I was transitioned, I just don't pretend to be male now. I specify all that because a lot of people seem to think the options are either transition or conform, and that's definitely not it. If short hair and masculine clothes make you feel good, then wear em. God knows I do lol.
If you're worried about regretting testosterone, then I'd say definitely do not rush onto it. It will always be there as an option. In the meantime, maybe look at trying to develop coping methods for the feelings you experience when people recognize your sex — A lot of people say stuff like avoiding your body and denying your sex helps dysphoria, and I think it does short term, but I think it doesn't longterm, and even if you decide to go on hrt or stay socially transitioned and whatnot, it's extremely helpful to develop resiliency. For myself I did a lot to sort of neutralize my perception of my body, recognize that it is neither a good nor bad thing even if my brian freaks out about it, and remind myself of that as much as possible. Social stuff is hard, but learning to accept that you can't control how people view you helps — and applies to much more than gender. Best of luck
hey i just want to say i started questioning that early too. I transitioned at age 14/15. I detransitioned at 18.
The question isn't whether you are trans or not; it's whether transitioning will possibly be a method of treatment that will help you in regards to gender dysphoria you feel.
You mentioned you have OCD; for me, that's a sign you should 100% back off trying to figure out whether you'll detransition or not, because you're obsessing over a future that's not even possible yet, since you said you've not transitioned.
I recommend, instead of worrying about whether you're "really trans," start treating your dysphoria like you do your OCD. Act as if it just another set of intrusive thoughts. After all, it has just as little basis: there's nothing inherently wrong with your body, just like how all of your intrusive thoughts are wrong as well.
The more time you spend ruminating on your dysphoria, the bigger hold it has on you. It is a lot like anxiety and obsessions this way. If you have any questions regarding what I've said feel free to ask!
If you're always chasing an idea of being normal, it will never work out. You'll be locked in that mindset for forever. Could you get to a place where you feel completely comfortable with yourself as a woman? Certainly. But that is almost definitely going to not be what's considered normal, partially because that shit's rigged, partially because to do so you'd have to chase reversing irreversible processes. Find your normal, don't let yourself chase others. I get that this sounds cliche and easier saod than done, but I promise you, it's a dark hole you dive into if you start approaching detransitioning with the same ruminatory focus that people approach transitioning. Healing and coming to terms with yourself will be more long lasting and substantial contentment than chasing trying to be something. For what it's worth, I didn't get a mastectomy but was on testosterone 15-18. I still pass most of the time, and probably look confusing the rest of it. But it doesn't really matter. People I care about know my deal, those who don't, say whatever. Obviously I still deal with doubts and feelings of insecurity sometimes... but when I first detransitioned, I almost fell down that hole of worrying about passing as a woman. Passing is stupid as shit. You're female. That's the truth. How others mistake you don't change that. So just do your thing.
another way to look at this would be to consider women who get botox — it's their body! they have the autonomy to do that. however, it sends the message to all other women that the threat of looking like you live/age is worth risking getting neurotoxins injected into your face. it also makes women who age naturally look "older" since others become used to seeing women their actual age cover up evidence of it with makeup and surgery, making those who do not look older in comparison. the norms distort.
no matter how much anyone would like to isolate their behavior and say they "just do it for themselves" or it "only applies to them," its simply untrue. you are part of society.
that doesn't mean you cannot still take these individualistic actions, however it's something to consider and weigh honestly if you care about your effects on others. it's better to acknowledge it and then choose how you act than to deny you have any effect at all, imo.