This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, this account appears authentic.
There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or inauthentic. The comments demonstrate:
- Nuanced, complex arguments that engage with multiple perspectives.
- Consistent, specific ideology focused on critiquing gender ideology and medical transition.
- Emotional investment in the topic, including empathy and frustration, which aligns with a genuine detransitioner/desister's passionate viewpoint.
- Natural language patterns with varied sentence structure and rhetorical questions.
About me
I was a young woman who felt deeply uncomfortable with my body when I hit puberty and found a sense of community and answers online. I was influenced into believing I was a trans man and started taking testosterone, which felt good at first but then the permanent changes made me feel like I was living a lie. I now see my journey was a maladaptive response to trauma and social pressure, like trying to solve a psychological problem with a physical change. I deeply regret transitioning and feel the medical system failed me by not looking deeper into my depression. I am now trying to accept my scarred body and live as a woman again, hoping my story helps others ask the harder questions first.
My detransition story
My journey with all of this started long before I ever said the word "transgender." Looking back, I think a lot of it was about escaping from myself. I was deeply uncomfortable with my body when I hit puberty; I hated the changes and I hated my breasts. I felt a lot of anxiety and had very low self-esteem. I now see this as a kind of puberty discomfort and body dysmorphia that got pointed in a specific direction.
I found a lot of community and answers online. The idea that these feelings meant I was not a woman made a strange kind of sense at the time. It felt like a solution to my depression and a way to leave my old, unhappy self behind. I started identifying as non-binary first, which felt like a less scary step, but it quickly escalated to me believing I was a trans man. I think I was heavily influenced by what I saw online and by the friends I made in those spaces. There was also an element of internalized homophobia; embracing a trans identity felt easier than accepting being a gay woman.
I began taking testosterone. At first, it felt great. It was like a relief, almost like an opiate that made me feel content and numbed my anxiety. It neutralized my sex drive, which was a huge source of stress for me. But the good feelings didn't last. The changes became permanent and I started to feel like I was living a lie. I ended up getting top surgery, which I now deeply regret. I am now infertile, and that is a serious loss that I have to live with every day.
My thoughts on gender have changed completely. I don't believe that my discomfort with my body meant I was born in the wrong one. I think I was a troubled young woman who was taught to misinterpret her pain. I see now that my journey was a maladaptive response to social pressure and personal trauma, not unlike someone with an eating disorder. I was trying to solve a psychological problem with a physical change, and it didn't work.
I regret transitioning more than I can possibly say. The physical changes are permanent and I have to live with the consequences of that. I feel like the medical system failed me. They should have looked deeper into my depression and anxiety instead of just affirming my self-diagnosis. I believe that non-affirming therapy, the kind that asks "why" instead of just saying "yes," would have benefited me greatly.
I am now trying to accept my body as it is, with all the scars and changes. I am learning to live as a woman again, and it's a difficult path. My main hope in sharing this is that someone else might see my story and ask themselves the harder questions before making irreversible decisions.
Age | Event |
---|---|
14 | Started experiencing intense puberty discomfort and hated developing breasts. Felt high anxiety and low self-esteem. |
19 | Found community online, influenced by friends and online spaces. Began identifying as non-binary. |
20 | Started identifying as a trans man. Began testosterone therapy. |
22 | Underwent top surgery. |
24 | Realized I was living a lie and began the process of detransition. Regretted surgery and hormone therapy. Came to terms with infertility. |
Top Comments by /u/DeweaponizedAutism:
Just curious, do you consider young girls who suffer from body image disorders like anorexia to also be narcissistic for wanting more desirable appearances? There is not a huge difference between gender dysphoria and body dysmorphia, but there seems to be a cultural script in which we see girls with it as being confused and vulnerable while boys with it are seen as narcissistic and vain. I tend to see them both as maladaptive responses to social pressure by young people. Kind of a different league than actual narcissism that you see from people like Jessica Yaniv (who it should be noted displayed signs of narcissistic personality before becoming transgender).
I get what you're saying, but the way you're saying it makes you seem angry, unstable, and a little bit sadistic. Consider the possibility that the strong emotions behind this post is more a reflection of your own unhappiness with your choices in life than that of others.
Opiates also make you feel good and content with life. But the downsides of being on opiates all of the time outweigh the positives (unless you have terminal illness). I think estradiol can help some guys feel better since it neutralizes their male sex drive, which is a considerable source of anxiety and discontent (both consciously and subconsciously). Even outside of the physiological effects, there is the psychological feeling of being relieved from your burdens of "being a man" (which can be generalized to "being an adult") and leaving your old unhappy life behind for a new adventure. So I think it's a blend of physiological effects and placebo.
Arguably, you're taking a whole group of people and judging them on the basis of their worst (and most visible) members, which is a kind of prejudice. There's nothing inherently wrong with having a fetish. Not are they inherently destructive. Many AGPs have healthy sex lives engaging in kinky cross-dressing with their female partners behind closed doors. Just like many people enjoy foot fetishes with their partners, or BDSM.
Yes, there are some expressions of these fetishes that are actually harmful to the individual and society but the same could be said about homosexuality and other kinds of non-normative sexuality. "It can prevent a guy having a maintaining a normal relationship and family". People use the same argument against lesbians and gays.
I suggest you do some reading on what the authors of the autogynephilia concept (Blanchard and colleagues) actually have to say about the harmfulness of AGP. Namely, none of them outright condemn it in the way you are doing so. There are kind, otherwise normal AGPs and the predator and scumbag AGPs just like the general population.
I think what you actually mean to condemn here is sex addiction and addictive behaviors. People who let sexuality and the pursuit of sexual pleasure take over their lives, who also happen to have AGP. That is obviously harmful, but just having AGP or a fetish is not.
You can always pledge to donate any money you get from the lawsuit. Maybe even to a detrans or LGB organization. Don't think of it in terms of screwing over the NHS or the taxpayer. The system is designed to be able to absorb some lawsuits (in cases of legitimate malpractice due to oversight on the organization's part, for example). But more importantly, the system won't ever change unless it receives negative feedback, and money/legal action is the most direct and effective way to incentivize change. Look, the fact of the matter is that this system that is intended to help you and look after your health and well-being failed spectacularly, and is poised to do the same for many, many more people if something doesn't change soon. You need to recognize that your rights have been violated and resulted in undue harm to your being, which any clear-eyed medical practitioner would agree gives you the right to seek redress. I respect how considerate you are in not wanting to hurt the NHS system but it has to be done at some point and it is better that it starts with you then waiting for it to create another victim down the line and have the burden fall upon them.