This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, this account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or an inauthentic actor.
The comments display a consistent, deeply personal, and emotionally complex narrative. The user discusses specific, relatable details of their detransition (voice changes, laser hair removal, duration on testosterone), ongoing psychological struggles (anxiety, self-acceptance), and a coherent, evolving perspective on gender and lesbian identity. The emotional tone is varied and appropriate, ranging from despair to dark humor to moments of hope, which is consistent with a genuine person processing a difficult experience. The passion and anger expressed are consistent with the warning that detransitioners can be "very passionate and pissed off."
About me
I'm a female from the U.S. who started transitioning because I felt like a failed woman for not being feminine enough. I took testosterone for five months to escape my pain, and it permanently deepened my voice, which now causes me a lot of anxiety. I realized I was trying to fix my internal problems by changing my body, which was a form of self-destruction. Now, I've detransitioned and am learning to love myself as a masculine lesbian. My biggest regret is my changed voice, but I finally feel free just being who I truly am.
My detransition story
My whole journey with transition and detransition was messy and came from a place of deep unhappiness with how I was treated by the world. I’m a female, a lesbian, and I’ve always been a tomboy. From a young age, I never fit the mold of a “perfect girl.” I hated the way people treated me compared to my more feminine friends. In middle school, girls would make fun of my raspy voice when I had to give a speech. As I got older, I’d be out with a friend and people would enthusiastically ask her about her day while completely ignoring me, like I was invisible. On dating apps, my friend would get tons of matches with her filtered, made-up photos, but when I posted normal, unedited pictures of myself, I got hardly any attention. I felt like a "failed human" just for being myself.
I started to believe that since I was such an "ugly example of a girl," I might feel more at home and be more attractive as the opposite sex. I think a lot of my struggle was rooted in low self-esteem and depression. I was looking for a way to escape my life and my past. I thought if I could become someone new, I could leave all the bad memories and shame behind. It was a form of escapism. I wanted to crawl out of my own skin. So, I socially transitioned and started taking testosterone.
I was on testosterone for about five months. It gave me a deeper, raspier voice that I now struggle with every day. It causes me a lot of anxiety; I’m always worried about how people will perceive me when I talk. I’m constantly asking friends if I sound "normal." Thankfully, I didn’t get a lot of other changes—I had zero bottom growth and not much extra body hair—and I never got top surgery, which is something I’m so grateful for now. I realized in time that trying to erase my old self wouldn’t undo the past. The work I needed to do was inside me; it had nothing to do with my sex or appearance. My attempt to be "reborn" was self-destructive.
Now that I’ve detransitioned, my view on gender is pretty straightforward. I think biology is real. A woman is an adult human female. I feel like the current conversation around gender has gotten so complicated that it’s erased people like me—tomboys. The idea that a woman who isn’t hyper-feminine must be trans is suffocating. I finally accepted that not fitting the perfect image of a woman doesn’t mean you have to try and live as the opposite sex. I just want to exist as a masculine lesbian without people trying to fit me into a new box.
I do have regrets about transitioning. I regret the permanent change to my voice the most. It’s a daily reminder of a time when I hated myself so much I tried to become someone else. But I don’t regret detransitioning for a second. It’s a relief to finally approve of myself and love the body I was born in. I’m not going to hide it or harm it anymore. It’s hard, especially with dating and seeing how shallow people can be, but I’d rather be alone than pretend to be someone I’m not.
Here is a timeline of my journey based on what I remember:
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| Around 12-13 (Middle School) | Started getting comments about my raspy, deep voice and being treated differently than my feminine friends. |
| Around 16-17 (Teenager) | Posted a picture online with a short haircut and people couldn't tell if I was a girl or a guy, which deeply upset me. |
| 19 | Started identifying as transgender and began taking testosterone. |
| 19 (after 5 months) | Stopped testosterone after realizing it was a destructive way to cope with internal pain. |
| 20 (Present) | Living as a detransitioned female, working on accepting my voice and finding my place as a lesbian. |
Top Comments by /u/Disastrous-Yellow03:
I’m not getting with the times. I’m an individual with my own thoughts and opinions. And people can play around with words all day to soothe themselves but a lesbian is a female homo.
I’m not ignoring anyone, i’m genuinely looking for the women who love women and the pool is getting smaller these days. Maybe i am an outlier, but i’m not enough of a pussy to adhere to them so they’ll “let me sit with them”
I’m gonna be true to who i am. And i’m still going to search for an old fashioned lesbian community. I’m not the only one who feels that way so i’m sure there’s a community out there for lesbians.
I think the person was asking how do you know you’re a man cause typically even cis men don’t feel like men they just are. What made you think you’re a man? Wanting to be masculine? Wanting to date women? Wanting a flat chest and no periods or disliking your past self etc etc etc cause a lot of these things can be explained by just dysmorphia or smth. Whenever a trans man explains to me why he knows he’s a man he lists off experiences and struggles i go through to this day as a lesbian so it doesn’t explain much.
How does one feel gender
Trying to erase my old self wont get rid of all the bad shit that happened to me in the past. It wont undo what was done nor will it erase the memories and shame. As much as i wanted to crawl out of my skin i know that’s not possible. And even if it was possible to pretend my childhood never happened and my old self didn’t exist it still wouldn’t alter the series of events that altered me.
The work i needed to do was inside, damage i suffered inwardly. It had nothing to do with sex or appearance or any of that. I was looking for a way to let go of my old life and be reborn, however the way i went about it was self destructive and irrational.
I get that but their idea of “being treated like a woman in bed” isn’t even the norm necessarily.. it’s more aggressively submissive and with a HUGE element of humiliation and i don’t think humiliation etc is a part of the so called female experience. So i think there’s an element of self hate mixed in there along with them not wanting to be honest with themselves. They seem to view womanhood as being a sack of meat made for reproduction and nothing else and made a whole subreddit asking men to misgender them and degrade them and tell them really odd things and dehumanize them.
it’s strange to be honest lmao
Invalidating your own apparent identity means you’re secure? If anything i think it’s insecurity.
Who had a degradation and/or rape kink when they have high self esteem..? Lmao
Nah. I think it’s akin to living a double life, you can’t have the best of both worlds and that’s what they are attempting to do. To hold on to manhood while wanting to be impregnated and not seeming dysphoric based on the things they say about their bodies.
It’s sad in my opinion and it seems to point to some inner conflict.
I’m not one to shame people cause of what makes them get off.. but something about that seems to be rooted in some deeper issues. People who like non consensual stuff, degradation and so on.
To each their own but man… some therapy wouldn’t hurt haha
Seems unhealthy especially in the way they phrase and conduct it
Nah i ain’t reporting him it’s not that deep lmao. I’m not upset AT him i’m upset that i don’t sound how i want. But whatever i’ll just try to voice train. Life’s full of hurdles but i always overcome fr fr… also that jewish comment was weird don’t be a dick man
Yea i don’t get how they can honestly say they live a healthy fulfilling life and feel ok in their bodies if they wanna be men but secretly see femaleness as degradation and make it into a kink.
True i agree about the tendencies, i’m always a bit touchy when people say women want this and that. I know it’s not meant to be a generalization but my brain jumped to “women always want xyz its their biology” and it feels so suffocating cause i don’t want some of the things other women want and the whole idea of gender norms and expectations is what made me transition in the first place. I finally accepted that not fitting into the image of the perfect woman, the epitomy of femininiy doesn’t mean you have to “switch sides” or try to live as the opposite sex. It’s unattainable and unhealthy and goddd so miserable i hate to remember those days
The new genderfuck movement is weird.. by competely rejecting gender and biology they ironically further enforce them by perpetuating the idea that a woman who isn’t exactly like every other woman must be trans or something. They’ve erased tomboys out of existence haha
Girls in middle school saying my voice sounded raspy and deep when i had to give a speech, being treated like the ugly friend, seeing the difference in treatment between me and my feminine friends.. so many ways in which i was punished even if unintentionally by people who disliked my presentation and lack of need for conformity. I figured since i’m such an awful ugly example of a girl i could feel more at home and be more attractive as the opposite sex. What really fucked me up was when i posted showing my haircut in a sub as a teenager and the only thing people could focus on was are you a girl or a guy
God forbid a woman doesn’t wear spider like lashes and plump her lips to death… i committed the crime of taking and posting a non blurry non edited picture of my bare face. And people have forgotten what a woman looks like cause i didn’t look like a sex symbol so they treated me like i was hunchback of notre dame.
Fuck people suck.
I’m chilling rn, still not doing the girl thing right but fuck it we ball
It does seem slightly similar to agp. Not necessarily in the case of the detrans fetishists but with ftm in general. They act the same as trans women with the fetishizing and fantasizing about being the opposite sex. A lot of ftm are coincidentally gay aka wanna be in a male on male relationship and claim the experiences of gay men… and coincidentally in my time being a part of the ftm space they read and watch a lot of gay male fixtional work. Gay mangas gay tv shows and movies etc.
They seem to get off on a fantasy of being homosexual men the same way males fantasize about being female and being treated like one in a degrading sense etc