This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account appears to be authentic.
There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or an inauthentic user. The comments demonstrate:
- Personal, emotional depth: The user shares specific, vulnerable feelings about loneliness, high school experiences, and a desire for marriage.
- Consistent persona: The voice is consistent—a young, artsy, lesbian woman who is frustrated with modern fandom and trans activist culture.
- Nuanced interaction: The user engages in a natural, conversational way, building on others' points and expressing empathy.
- Human inconsistency: The tone shifts naturally from bitter and angry to hopeful and supportive, which is consistent with a passionate, emotional person rather than a scripted bot.
The views expressed are well within the range of a genuine, passionate desister or detransitioner.
About me
I started identifying as non-binary and then as a trans man when I was a young teenager, mostly because of pressure I felt in online fandom spaces. I was a lonely, autistic girl who felt like I couldn't just be a straight girl who liked certain things, and the whole thing became a way to escape my low self-esteem and internalized homophobia. For about three years, I lived in a state of dissociation, praised for being brave when I was actually just lost. I now see that my journey was a response to social pressure and confusion, not a true identity. Today, I am learning to embrace being a lesbian woman, and I protect my peace by staying away from the toxic ideologies that hurt me.
My detransition story
My whole journey with gender is complicated, and looking back, I see how many different things played a part. I never actually transitioned socially or medically, but for a long time, I identified as non-binary and then as a trans man. It all started online, in fandom spaces. I was a big fan of yaoi, and it felt like you couldn't just be a straight girl who enjoyed that anymore. The message was everywhere: if you didn't fit the perfect feminine stereotype, you must be something else. I'm autistic, and I think that black-and-white thinking really got to me. It was easier to latch onto the idea of being a "yaoi boy" than to just be a girl who liked certain things.
I felt a huge amount of pressure. It seemed like everyone expected you to be an activist, and if you had any opinion that wasn't 100% pro-trans, you were immediately called a bigot. I remember my freshman year of high school was incredibly lonely because I felt like I had to hide my changing thoughts. I was terrified that if I told anyone what I really felt, I'd lose all my friends. And I did end up losing some old girl friends from fandom spaces because of it. I miss how things used to be before all this.
A lot of this was tied up with my sexuality. I'm a lesbian, and I struggled with internalized homophobia. I had this idea in my head that if I couldn't find a "level-headed, attractive lesbian woman," I would just repress my feelings and date men instead. The thought of being single at 40 sounded like a nightmare to me because I truly value romantic love. I think part of me thought that transitioning would somehow make my attraction to women more acceptable or easier to understand.
My self-esteem was really low, and I was depressed. The whole thing felt like a form of escapism, a way to dissociate from myself. For about three years, I was praised for being "so brave" when really, I was just disconnecting from who I was. It’s incredibly invalidating now when people say, "Oh, it just wasn't right for you, you weren't really trans." That completely dismisses the real harm that this ideology can cause. It feels like they don't actually care about helping people; they just want more people on their side.
I don't regret that period of my life because it led me to where I am now, but I see it clearly for what it was: a response to trauma, social pressure, and internal confusion. I've had to become very protective of my mental space. I block people online at the slightest hint of nonsense because that's the only way to stay sane. My mindset has completely changed. I can't just "tolerate" things anymore. I'm learning to embrace who I am without caring what anyone else says. I'm just a woman, a lesbian woman, and that's okay.
Here is a timeline of my journey based on my memories:
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| Around 13-14 | Started identifying as non-binary/trans male online due to fandom pressure and feeling like I didn't fit feminine stereotypes. |
| 14 (9th Grade) | Felt extremely isolated and lonely, hiding my changing opinions from classmates for fear of being called a bigot. |
| Around 15-16 | Spent about three years identified as trans, which I now see as a period of dissociation. |
| 17 | Realized I was detransitioning/never truly was trans. Began to understand the role of internalized homophobia and social influence. |
| Present (18) | Working on healing, accepting myself as a lesbian woman, and distancing myself from toxic online spaces. |
Top Comments by /u/Disastrous_Drink8331:
I just don't want to date trans women because I'm not attracted to them. Ofc they're not all crazy, but I want to date a real woman. And when did i ever say that men are less crazy? All i said is that if it ever comes down to it where i cant find a level headed, attractive lesbian woman, I'll resort to repressing my lesbianism and date men.
There's no way in hell I can just "tolerate it" at this point. My mindset has completely changed. Way too much to resort to "tolerance".
Blocking is the only answer at this point. But you're so right. Everyone just assumes you're "SUPER PRO TRANS!11!!" And when they find out you aren't, congratulations! You're the devil now! I mean, God forbid someone has a differing opinion, we couldn't have that! 😱
It does get lonely. I miss my old girl friends. I miss the old fandom space in general.
I absolutely adore this comment. You've made me feel so hopeful omg. And you're so right, the left does NOT control us at all! We're all individuals with different experiences and perspectives and we don't have to conform to just one side. Sending love ❤️
Oh God, I'm an artsy nerd too! We really are screwed 🙃 But yeah I do agree! People irl are usually a lot more nuanced, regardless if they're on the left or right. Thanks for the suggestions btw! I'll definitely take your advice when looking where to move :)
I feel the same way. Even through I never socially transitioned in front of classmates/"friends", my freshman year of high school was horrible for me because of how alone I felt in my cahnging opinions. It felt as though if I had opened up to anyone in my real life about what I truly felt about certain topics, I'd be called a bigot or transphobic.
9th grade was so lonely.
If you ever want to talk, you can with me! I understand you completely! You aren't alone.
“if you don’t fit X stereotype to the letter, you’re Y” has led to a lot of autistic women with black and white thinking to id with/as yaoi boys.
You hit the nail right on the head. I couldn't have phrased that any better, myself. Wow.
Yeah, you're completely right. It's almost as if they're ashamed of being regular straight girls who simply like yaoi. Fujoshis are damn near a dying breed... Well, at least those who aren't trans identified, that is.
Fuck those insecure losers who ever dared to make you question yourself. This is precisely the problem. You can't simply enjoy things as a regular person anymore. You also must be an activist. And if you aren't you're homo/transphobic. God forbid you're a woman who likes yaoi (which is so fucking weird bc it's literally made for women) or a regular guy who likes yuri, you're now a fetishist.
Perfectly said. I'm learning to embrace my degenerate ships to without caring about what anyone has to say, as well.
I appreciate you sharing your story and perspective, it's nice to know that I'm not the only one who has experienced stuff like this. And your last paragraph is so true. It's so crazy out here lol, but I mean I can't resort to becoming a jaded and bitter woman bc of this. I just have to do what I've gotta do 🤷♀️
people will say “oh but it just wasn’t right for you you weren’t really trans” do you know how traumatic it is to recognize that i completely dissociated from myself for THREE YEARS and i was praised for that because i was “so brave”.
Dear God, isn't it so fucking invalidating??? They just completely disregard the fact that people have been harmed and will CONTINUE to be harmed by this delusional ideology. They don't actually give a shit about helping people, they just want more people on their side. Absolute losers.
I think you commented on my other post about fandoms and seem to be around my age, so if you ever want someone to talk to, you could totally reach out to me! I'm sure we'd get along 😅
I wish you the best on your healing journey.
I know that I don't HAVE to be married. But I WANT to be married. Imagining myself at 40 being single sounds like a fucking nightmare lmao.
Yes, there is more to life than relationships but that doesn't take away the value and importance of them for me. I think romantic love is beautiful. I'm aware that it won't be sunshine and rainbows all the time. It takes hard work from both parties to make it last and I'm more than willing to give that effort.
Same sex relationships and same sex attractions are good, real, and true.
Thank you for saying that.