This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or a bad-faith actor.
The user's narrative is complex, nuanced, and spans several years, showing a natural evolution in their perspective. They describe a deeply personal and often confusing journey with specific, consistent details about their medical history (e.g., being on testosterone for over 6 years), mental health struggles, self-discovery of autism, and a shifting relationship with gender ideology. This level of personal, inconsistent, and non-agenda-driven reflection is extremely difficult to fake and is consistent with the passionate and varied experiences of real detransitioners and desisters.
About me
I started transitioning to male six years ago because I was deeply depressed and it felt like my only way out. For a while, it made me happy and gave me a community where I finally belonged. I later realized my dysphoria was mostly social and began to understand my autism and other mental health struggles. I don't regret it because it saved my life, but I wish I could have found peace as a masculine woman instead. Now, I see myself as a female with a modified body, and I've found freedom in just being myself.
My detransition story
My journey with gender has been long and complicated, and looking back, I see how many different factors played a part. I started identifying as a trans man about six years ago. Before that, I was extremely depressed and suicidal, and transitioning felt like the only way to survive. It gave me a sense of purpose and a community where I felt I belonged. For a few years, I was really happy with my decision. I loved the changes from testosterone and having top surgery to create a flat chest. I felt comfortable being seen as a man in public.
But a few years in, around the three-year mark, things started to shift. I began to feel confused. I realized that when I was alone, I didn't really have any dysphoria. The feelings were strongest in social situations, where I preferred to be seen as male. I started questioning why I needed to transition to feel okay socially, but not when I was by myself. This was the beginning of a lot of introspection for me.
Around this time, I also started to understand myself better in other ways. I’m currently getting assessed for autism, and it explains a lot about why I’ve always felt out of place. The trans community was very comforting because it was full of other people who felt different. I also think I might have a dissociative disorder, as I feel like a completely different person depending on who I'm with. I don't have a strong sense of a stable "me." My mother, who was against my transition from the start, unfortunately, seems to have been right that it was a coping mechanism for me, which is a painful thing to admit.
My thoughts on gender have changed completely. I don't believe in a internal "gender identity" anymore. I don't feel like a man or a woman; I just feel like myself. I see myself as a biological female who has made modifications to my body. I take testosterone because, right now, it helps me mentally and physically—when I've tried to stop, it messed me up badly. I have no plans to stop, but I know it's not healthy long-term and I hope to eventually. I love my masculinized body and my flat chest, but I see these as aesthetic choices, not as changes to my sex. I am female, and that's a biological reality I've come to accept peacefully.
I’ve also realized that my sexuality has changed over the years. I thought I was a lesbian, then bisexual, then pansexual, and back to being mostly attracted to women. It shows that these things aren't always fixed.
Do I regret transitioning? It's a difficult question. I don't regret it because it saved my life. I was in a terrible place, and it gave me the will to live. However, I have a huge regret that I felt I had to do it at all. I wish there had been another way for me to find that peace of mind without permanently altering my body. I wish I could have been happy just being a masculine woman, but at the time, I couldn't see any other path. My life is better now, but I think that's because going through this journey forced me to confront my mental health issues and develop a more realistic view of sex and gender. The biggest freedom for me came from stopping the obsession over how others see me. I'm just me: a female with a masculinized body who is usually assumed to be male. That's all there is to it.
Here is a timeline of my journey:
| My Age | Event |
|---|---|
| Around 18-19 | Started identifying as a trans man and began taking testosterone. |
| 3 years on T (around 21-22) | Started feeling confused; realized I had no dysphoria when alone. Began questioning my transition. |
| Around 22 | Stopped testosterone temporarily because I didn't feel I needed it anymore. |
| Around 22 | Realized I am likely autistic and may have a dissociative disorder. |
| Shortly after 22 | Resumed testosterone after stopping it negatively affected my mental health. |
| Present (around 24-25) | 6+ years on testosterone. No plans to stop currently, but hope to eventually. No desire to socially or medically detransition, but I no longer believe in transgender ideology. |
Top Comments by /u/Dismal-Addition:
Hi, J. I think you look a little like Kris, but only because of a small facial resemblance. I can see why you might be gendered as male; for me, I'm less likely to pass (as a guy) if I'm being particularly masculine. The more feminine I am, the more likely I am to be gendered as a guy. I'm just over 6 years on T (no plans to stop as of yet but I don't agree with the trans ideology) but still able to pass as female if I want to (when seeing family etc I shave and wear makeup). I wouldn't obsess over it. For me the biggest freedom came from not caring how anybody saw me. I just see things as they are. I'm female, with a masculinised body, and usually assumed to be male. That's all there is to it for me and I don't feel like I'm hiding anything. I tell people I'm female if they ask. You look great however you decide to present, and nobody can take away the fact that you ARE female, even if somebody else doesn't think so.
Please don’t rush into anything. Consider every possible outcome and be very clear with yourself about why you are doing this. Are you aware you can’t change sex? Do you also have severe mental health issues or a history of abuse? All of this is important to consider. It may all seem good now, but 5-10 years down the line, you’ll very possibly find yourself regretting it
Thank you so much. I’m suddenly feeling normal and happy again now. No idea what’s up with me, but I definitely think this stuff is important to talk about! I think I enjoy looking and sounding and being read as a male. I am happy with my decisions and transition. BUT I wish there had been another option, and I never felt the need to do it in the first place, yknow? Because it makes things so, so hard. But since I can’t turn back time, I know nothing can be done. And yes, I’m happy knowing that I’m biologically female. I just prefer to present this way and be referred to as he/him I think. I was extremely depressed and suicidal before transitioning so I am really grateful to it. I wish there had been another way to gain this peace of mind I guess is what I’m saying. I did what I had to to stay alive. But I wish I hadn’t had to do it at all, and I wish I could’ve been happy staying as a girl, but I wasn’t able to no matter how hard I tried. Does that make more sense or am I still contradicting? Thanks so much again for responding.
Just clarifying my own personal story here to give some context for my advice - I’m a trans identified female, meaning I’m biologically female but am seen in society as a man. I am very comfortable with this. I don’t feel like a man or a woman precisely, but I don’t think anybody does. I don’t think gender identity is a very scientifically sound idea. I am autistic so have always felt out of place and like I didn’t fit in - the trans ideology is very comforting to people like us. It gives us a place to belong, and to talk to other people who also feel different. What I am certain of is: my biological reality is female. I take testosterone because it helps me in a lot of ways physically and mentally (however this is not a substitute for therapy! Get plenty of therapy because changing your hormone makeup is a huge deal). I adore my flat chest. I love feeling and looking masculine. HOWEVER - these are just body modifications. I just look like a male, and you can’t change your sex. I am a female, and I will die a female. Now, if you want to be assumed to be male, or be a very masculine female, go for it - but if you’re under the delusion that you can change sex, you should not go ahead with the surgery. Please look in particular at thigh phalloplasties which often turn out looking awful. Please take into account that MOST people have awful complications from phallo. There was a trans guy on YouTube talking to Exulansic (who has now been banned for “hate speech” which is ridiculous, but she’s still on Odysee, look her up, she’s fantastic) who says he was never made aware of the severe complications he was likely to experience. He can’t shit or piss on his own - needs an ostomy bag, foley cath and spc. He was never once told that this was a possibility, and it’s not at all uncommon.
I’m in a position now where I’m very indifferent to pronouns and gendering, which is a huge improvement. I used to be very obsessive, cry whenever anybody called me she, got very depressed and suicidal etc. These days I’m never called a she anyway, since I’m still taking testosterone (tried coming off it, it made me crazy, decided to continue with it for the time being until my mental health is treated better). Point is…I tentatively say that yes, my life is better after transition, but only because that’s what it took for me to change my mindset and understanding of sex and gender and the gender critical perspective. It would be much better if you didn’t have to do all of that to your body to reach that point. That way you would avoid the tremendous health effects.
Solidarity. I want to stop T eventually because I know it's not healthy, though I have no desire currently to medically or socially detransition despite not believing or agreeing with the ideology anymore (not sure why my flair of whatever was changed to detrans female? It's supposed to say questioning). The times I delayed my injection it messed me up physically and mentally as you're describing. I just wanted to let you know that you're not alone. ❤️
And I’m also thinking...stuff changes. Thoughts change, identities change. I used to think I was a lesbian. Then bisexual. Then pansexual. Then back to bi but mostly women attracted. This stuff doesn’t always stand still and stay the same forever and that’s ok.
See, now that I’m out in public at work I don’t want anyone to refer to me as a girl. I know I’m biologically female but I like the social aspect of passing as a guy. Maybe I’m a biological female who just likes going by he/him and appearing masculine? And that’s ok! But I wonder why I feel this way in front of other people, but alone I don’t really have dysphoria issues. This is all so confusing. I don’t understand why I’m suddenly feeling this way. I’ve always been really happy with my transition before now.
I think this is my situation too. I’ve been a happily transitioned trans man for 3 years but suddenly I’m just…not feeling trans anymore. I have zero dysphoria now. And I’ve realised I’m probably autistic (getting assessed soon) and probably have some kind of dissociative disorder (hopefully tackling that soon too). I’ve stopped T for the time being because I don’t feel like I need it anymore. I don’t particularly have an identity as a man or a woman anymore and definitely feel very separated from gender as a whole. My mother is also a narcissist and was heavily against the trans thing from the beginning and it kills me to know she was right all along, that it was just a coping mechanism. I can change so drastically to fit the social situation, it’s crazy. I’m a completely different person depending on who I’m around. I don’t know who “me” actually is. It’s so weird and confusing.