I agree that there is a worrying trend away from spending time going over dysphoria with a therapist. Many of the detransitioners I have known skipped over or half-assed that step and the results speak for themselves.

Transition really should be a last resort for when there is nothing left to address and no other option that seems reasonable, and people should be aware of the fact that, in the best case scenario, transition will only bring them "close enough" for them to at least be able to function while being aware of their bodies.

That said, I also wish there was more of a middle ground between telling people to transition before they finish their first sentence to you and saying that transition will fuck you up forever and you'll never be happy.

The comment about people waiting for transition to make them a new person is also interesting. I hadn't really thought about it before, but it seems like it's becoming a more common thing, especially with non-binary people.

For me, transition did enough to manage my dysphoria that I could live a much better life. I came across as a completely different person, but more because I was actually happy and functional and didn't hate myself to the point of being a walking corpse than because transition just suddenly gave me a personality. I guess that's what you would hope transition would be, though, right? A way to let you make the most of who you are rather than something that will add on to you itself. Instead, maybe because things get lost in translation, it seems to be treated more and more like a free reset to let you suddenly me cool and interesting regardless of whether you personality actually is.

Overall I thought it was a really interesting read.

You'll get judged, but I don't think that it will realistically result in your whole life falling apart.

Even if people decide to be jerks about it or throw accusations at you, isn't it for the best to have that come out in the open and stop worrying about such people rather than staying "trans" for the rest of your life and making yourself miserable for the sake of people whose approval is dependant on a lie?

Do what is best for you, explain to them as much as is reasonable, and if they refuse to listen or accept you doing what is best for yourself, don't beat yourself up trying to appeal to them.

If you are having doubts, it may be a good idea to slow down.

That said: "alternative treatments" are highly dependent on you and your situation. What works for one person may not work for another, sometimes it seems like absolutely nothing is helping even after trying for months or years.

If you are concerned, find a way to talk it over with a therapist, don't let them push you back towards transition if it isn't what you want, but instead talk about your dysphoria itself and what it may have been caused by or related to. Also, check out if antidepressants might help you.

Transition is a huge life decision, so it is reasonable to feel nervous or overwhelmed. Talk over your issues, give yourself time and space to work out what you are feeling, and find ways to try to address whatever sources of your dysphoria you may find.

Thoroughly talk through your mental health and any hang-ups you have with a therapist, and make sure that you are as certain as possible that you are transitioning because it is what you need rather than as a way to avoid dealing with something else.

No matter how well you think you know yourself, brains are tricky jerks.

I know several detransitioners who feel they would have been a lot better off if they had put a little more effort into looking at the things bothering them rather than skipping straight to diy hormones.

It seems like both the "being trans means instant happiness" and "being trans will make you kill yourself" routes are way too oversimplified.

I think a lot of the misery in the trans community is a result of what they had going in, rather than because of any actual inherent problems with transition. If anything, I know a higher percentage of happy transitioners than detransitioners.

I think it would be better if we had a more comprehensive approach to the issue, but I don't think just condemning transition will actually fix anything.

I mean, a lot of people do see improvement and some go from totally non-functional to actually doing things and participating in society as they transition.

You don't have to want anything, but the narrative does hold true for a fair number of people.

Even if changing sex is impossible, just altering their body enough to be tolerable seems to make a huge difference for some people.

I fell into the "you'll die alone and a jobless laughingstock" thing myself, which is what first started me on detransitioning, but three years later it has become increasingly obvious that being a dudely cis dude who is not at all trans only contributes to those things if you aren't too depressed/ trapped in dysphoria and disgust with yourself to properly work towards them.

Sure other people were awful when they became aware that I was trans, but I also had the will, energy, and ability to tolerate my own existence to actually hold and enjoy a job and to actually be in functional interpersonal relationships.

I don't know. I guess to me "functional" is also a type of "normal" which has it's own value. Obviously results may vary, but it seems a bit callous and maybe a bit arrogant to dismiss the people who are and have been living happy lives because they were able to transition and get to a place where they could actually live.

I think you were a csa victim whose trauma manifested as hatred of your body and who managed to cope with that in a non-transition way. I don't think this makes you trans because your issue was derived from an external event and you manage without transition.

I don't think that makes you trans because transness and dysphoria aren't really equivalent to most people. The "innate" dysphoria they talk about is a specific subset of dysphoria in general, so you would be dysphoric, but not transgender dysphoric, because most people think that the "why" is important.

There is an issue of loose and changing definitions, but I think many groups of trans people are likely to have transition as a requirement, and those who don't usually don't have dysphoria as a requirement either.

I do genuinely have dysphoria, as do many detransitioners.

Have not found anything other than transition that alleviates it so far, but many see results from various things such as self-acceptance or certain types of therapy. It really seems to depend on the cause of the dysphoria in the first place.

I think most places acknowledge that people who detransition/regret exist, there is just a specific acknowledgment that regretters and detransitioners are extremely rare which, to be fair, is true as far as we have seen so far. I think the most cited numbers are 1-2%, and this is what's generally used as a counterargument against regretters rather than just denying that they exist at all.

I don't generally see anyone say the happiness rate is 100% even on supposed TRA hellscapes like Tumblr. I do see dismissal due to the rarity, but I think that's more because people appropriate detransitioners' narratives to use as a bludgeon and transitioners are just wary by default rather than actual belief that detransitioners don't exist.

Can't really relate.

I did my work on mental health issues, and mysteriously saw my depression, anxiety, etc. fade away while transitioning, so while it may hold true in some cases, the application and oversimplification are a "nope".

Edit: also kind of tired of the condescending "you don't understand your issues, you've got it all backwards" thing they like to push anytime mental health comes up.