This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or a bad-faith actor.
Explanation: The comments display a consistent, nuanced, and deeply personal narrative about the user's experience with transition, detransition, and the accompanying physical and mental health changes. The language is introspective, emotionally varied (anger, sadness, resignation, hope), and contains specific, non-clichéd details (e.g., weight gain patterns, changes in libido, personal anecdotes about friends). The philosophical musings on identity are complex and align with the kind of existential questioning common in this context. The passion and criticism of trans communities are presented within a personal framework, not as generic talking points.
About me
I'm a man who started transitioning because my attraction to women felt so intense I wanted to be one. I took estrogen, which made me feel calm but also sad and muted, and when I stopped, my old self and a difficult sex drive came back fiercely. I realized that chasing a physical ideal was a superficial solution to a deeper need for self-acceptance. I now believe you don't need to identify as anything to be complete; you're just a human being. While I don't regret the journey, I'm left dealing with the lasting physical and mental consequences of my decision.
My detransition story
My whole journey with gender started from a place of deep confusion and a kind of attraction that felt tangled up with my own identity. I’m a guy, and I’m attracted to women, but it was so intense that I think part of me just wanted to be one. If I’d been given a choice at birth, I would have picked being female. But I wasn't, and I had to come to terms with that.
I decided to transition. I took estrogen for a while. Mentally, it didn’t really make things better or worse, it just changed them. On estrogen, I felt calm and content, but also kind of sad and ineffective. I felt more submissive, and that depressed me in its own way. I had fewer strong urges, which was a relief in one sense, but it also made me feel less human, like a part of me was muted. After I stopped taking hormones, my old self came back with a vengeance. My sex drive returned fiercely, to the point where it’s sometimes intolerable and interferes with my life. I get insanely horny for weeks at a time, and I’ve turned to drinking to try and manage it, which just creates more problems. So both states—on hormones and off—came with their own mental health burdens.
Physically, I was always slim and stayed slim on estrogen. But after I stopped, I gained about 35 pounds in four months, mostly in my stomach and thighs. Ironically, my breasts got bigger after I quit estrogen than they were when I was on it.
The reason I detransitioned was because of how I started to see gender. I think the way a lot of trans communities approach gender is archaic. The focus is so much on physical changes—like makeup and clothes—that it feels superficial. Transitioning is so destination-focused; everyone is rushing towards an end goal without realizing that life is a dynamic journey. You don’t need to identify as anything. You’re just a human being. A woman isn’t defined by how she looks or is perceived, and the same goes for a man. I realized that chasing physical changes to feel complete is a risky path that can leave you feeling empty inside. For me, it came down to learning self-love. Your physical features don’t define you.
I have a friend who started transitioning after I did, following some trauma. I look at them now, with everyone supporting them, and I want to warn them, to share my doubts. But I can’t. If you even question someone’s transition, you’re immediately labelled a transphobe and ostracized. I have no doubt they might end up where I am one day, but it’s not my place to bring them here.
Do I have regrets? It’s complicated. I don’t regret the journey because it led me to where I am now, with a clearer understanding of myself. But I see the consequences. My body changed in ways I didn't expect, and I’m left dealing with a sex drive that feels out of control. I think transitioning was a solution I tried for a problem that was more about self-acceptance than about actually being born in the wrong body. You can’t make a wrong decision, but every decision has lasting consequences. The most important thing is to trust yourself.
Here is a timeline of my journey:
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 29 | Started taking estrogen (hormone therapy). |
| 30 | Stopped taking estrogen and began detransition. |
| 30 | Gained 35 lbs and experienced a significant return of sex drive after stopping hormones. |
Top Comments by /u/DontPlayJustPray:
Well, if it's any consolation this post felt real and the pain was vibrant through your words, palpable even. You said you feel like a defective human and I think we all share that sentiment and for a lot of us it's a reality - although the concept of a defective human would indicate some perfect model exists.
Therapy is like paying someone to be a passenger and read you directions. It's helpful but you can still get where you need to go without it. You said you don't want a solution but I would consider that maybe you need one, or at the very least you need something.
Broken people have been romanticized in modern times, broken people that sit in the pieces of their shattered existence and piece themselves back together even more so. Wallow today maybe, sure, but tomorrow you have to promise yourself to pick up some glue and start reassembling your pieces. Yes, you're different but you're still you.
If it's any solace, I don't know you but I do believe you'll find a way to do this. Good luck.
I think that based on the fact that simply stopping your transition to consider whether it's right for you gets you labelled as a transphobe... It's a safe assertion to say that if anyone tried to stop you they would be lynched by the mob long before you would be mentally clear enough to vindicate them.
Consider. I have a friend who is mid-transition, started after I did, never mentioned it during my transition and went through some trauma. Suddenly one day they were transitioning. I would like to warn them but everyone is supporting them, if I even whisper doubt I'll be ostracized and labelled a transphobe. I have no doubt they will be here one day but it's not my place to bring then.
I want to be a woman as well, I'm a 30 year old guy that tried to become a woman but the reality is that it's not possible. If I was given a character creation screen at birth I would certainly select "female" but I wasn't. I'm also very attracted to females, so attracted I think it makes me want to be one.. If that makes sense.
You can transition and you'll be valid, you can also not transition and still be perfectly valid. I had a woman friend who had her breasts removed because she hated them, I have another woman friend who hated her breasts but eventually just didn't care.
I think a lot of it comes down to self-love. It's corny af but you can transcend beyond deciding if you're trans or not and just decide to be you. Your physical features don't define you at all and chasing physical changes to complete yourself run a high risk of leaving you feeling vacant.
You can't make a wrong decision but your decision will have lasting consequences. Make sure you trust yourself today so that you can still trust yourself tomorrow.
After a month I got a hard-on and I've had one ever since (almost a year now).
I'm kidding, although not entirely. After a month everything was back to normal. I quit porn as well and everything went back to normal, although, there is a short period of time that comes up every so often where I get uncontrollably horny for extended periods. Insatiably horny all the time for like, 2 weeks at a time. It interferes with my work, home life, hobbies and interactions with people. I tamper it with drinking but this in itself brings its own problems.
This was cured during my transition but returned with furious vengeance since stopping my transition. It's intolerable.
I think we're all mistakes really. Not to zoom out too far on your situation but the fact that humans even exist is equal parts mistake and miracle. The rules and constructs we function within are just a series of constructed assumptions... Which is really why I detransitioned and why you can too. A woman isn't what you look like or how others percieve you, that seems (ironically) mostly the plight of a trans woman.... and it's the same with men.
I don't want this answer to seem too generic or generalized but I think the approach that a lot of trans people and communities take to gender is archaic. I understand that makeup and skirts going spinny are validating but they're also wildly superficial. The fact that transitions are almost entirely physically focused helps me understand that the transition for me wasn't a switch, like I'm not either transitioning or I'm not - I'm just existing on a journey.
Transitions are destination focused and we focus so hard on the end that we don't really realize we're on a dynamic, living path.
You don't need to identify yourself as anything at all, like, you're just a human being on a journey.
I was very slim when I started E and stayed slim right up until I stopped. I gained 35lbs over 4 months in my stomach and thighs after stopping E. Im a thicc boi now but Ive always been otherwise skinny. My boobs got bigger after stopping E than when I was on it. Ha.
My mental health didn't improve or get any worse regardless of my hormone status. It changed but was the same mostly. As a male, with male hormones I'm horny and I drink a lot, I get into trouble and have more anger. When I was on estrogen I was sad but content, calm but less effective and more submissive and this depressed me in its own right. Both had their mental health burdens to bear but as myself, a male, I control my actions better... I succumb to my addictions with stronger urges. On E I didn't succumb to my urges but that made me feel less human... I guess I would rather feel flawed but human than complacent and existing.