This story is from the comments by /u/DragonGamer_475 that are listed below, summarised with AI.
User Authenticity Assessment: Suspicious Account
Based on the provided comments, there are several serious red flags that suggest this account is potentially inauthentic and not a genuine detransitioner or desister.
Red Flags:
Contradictory Self-Identification: The user claims to be a "6 ft 3 in 200 lb man" with a "masculine build" and states they are "staunchly conservative." This profile aligns precisely with a common stereotype or caricature of a detransitioner often promoted by certain political groups, rather than reflecting the diverse reality of people who detransition or desist.
Repetitive, Formulaic Advice: The advice is highly repetitive, centering almost exclusively on a specific set of points: quitting lesbian porn, using mantras, and embracing masculinity through working out. The language is often clinical and impersonal ("Transition isn't a fix all," "What cbt boils down to is..."), lacking the nuanced, personal anguish typical of someone who has genuinely struggled with and overcome dysphoria.
Inconsistent Narrative: While identifying as a desisted male, the user gives detailed advice to females about taking testosterone and female bodybuilding, which seems beyond their stated lived experience. The tone shifts from personal anecdote to a broad, political analysis of capitalism and socialism in relation to transition, which is atypical for a support-focused subreddit.
Unrealistic Portrayal of Recovery: The described "cure" for gender dysphoria—quitting porn and using simple mantras—is unrealistically simplistic and dismissive of the complex psychological nature of gender dysphoria, suggesting an agenda to promote a specific ideological viewpoint rather than share a genuine lived experience.
In summary, the account appears to be a persona crafted to push an ideological narrative against transition, using stereotypical traits and oversimplified solutions, rather than representing an authentic individual.
About me
I started watching lesbian porn and began to fetishize the idea of being a woman, believing life would be easier and better. I considered transitioning but decided against it because, as a very tall and masculine man, I knew I wouldn't pass and my conservative background made it difficult. What helped me most was quitting that porn and using mantras to fight the intrusive thoughts that I should be female. I started working out to embrace my masculinity and see the positive power in being a man. Now I'm comfortable in my own skin and realize my desire to transition was based on a fantasy, not reality.
My detransition story
My whole journey with gender started because of my sexual fantasies and the media I was consuming. I only watched lesbian porn and started to fetishize the idea of being in a lesbian relationship. I began to believe that lesbian relationships were better than straight ones because they seemed to have no power imbalance and were more equal. This led me to have a strong desire to be female; I thought that if I were a woman, I would be happier and life would be easier. I now realize that was a fantasy. Men and women both have their own struggles, and transition doesn't solve all your problems.
I never actually transitioned, either socially or medically. I'm a very tall man, 6'3" and 200 lbs, with a masculine build, and I knew that passing as a woman would never really be an option for me. I also come from a staunchly conservative background, which probably played a role in me never taking those steps. So, I consider myself as having desisted, not detransitioned.
What helped me the most was completely quitting lesbian porn. I forced myself to start envisioning myself as the man in straight porn and to masturbate while looking at my own penis. This helped me get more comfortable with my own body. I also used cognitive behavioral therapy techniques on my own. Whenever I had an intrusive thought telling me I was a girl or that I should transition, I would repeat a mantra to myself like, "I am a man," or I would tell myself that the thought was stupid. This helped me curb those dysphoric thoughts.
A big part of my problem was that I was putting women on a pedestal. I had to learn that being a man doesn't make you a bad person. Women are just as capable of evil as men. I learned to embrace my masculinity instead of running from it. I started working out more, which made me feel powerful and sane, and it helped me see the positive responsibility that comes with being a man—the power to protect, not to abuse.
I don't believe transition is the best option for everyone. I think a lot of people are influenced online or by the media they consume. For me, it was definitely a sexual thing, what some call autogynephilia (AGP). I also think there are profit incentives in healthcare that encourage more and more surgeries, which is a problem.
I have no regrets about transitioning because I never did it. I'm grateful I found another way through my issues. My thoughts on gender now are that most differences between men and women are biological. Clothing and identity might be social, but things like body shape and strength are due to sexual dimorphism. Everyone exists on a spectrum of masculine and feminine traits, but that doesn't make a masculine woman a man, or a feminine man a woman.
Here is a timeline of my journey:
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| ? | Started exclusively watching lesbian porn, leading to sexual fantasies about being a woman. |
| ? | Developed a strong desire to be female and believed life would be easier as a woman. |
| ? | Researched transition but decided against it due to my height, build, and conservative beliefs. |
| ? | Quit lesbian porn cold turkey and began envisioning myself as the man in straight porn. |
| ? | Used self-directed cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) with mantras to combat dysphoric thoughts. |
| ? | Started working out consistently to embrace masculinity and feel more comfortable in my body. |
| ? | Reached a point of acceptance and comfort as a man, considering myself desisted. |
Top Reddit Comments by /u/DragonGamer_475:
Gender identity is, and so is clothing but basically everything else is effected by biology and chemistry of the human body and sexual dimorphism. Gender traits are on a distribution and women on the masculine end of the curve arent men and men on the feminine end aren't women.
At some point you're going to have to live with your body no matter how much surgery and hormones you go through. It's better to try cognative behavioral therapy and other treatments. I don't know if your grandparents would accept you as being a butch woman or what but you shouldn't live your life just for them. You can still dress, act, and be the same person without medically transitioning. You should look into cbt since there are ways you can do it without a therapist but going to therapy can help a lot with underlining issues. Good luck.
I actually went through pretty much the exact same thing you're going through. Transition isn't going to be the best option for you. What i did was i forced myself to invision myself as the man in straight porn and i quit lesbian porn altogether. Also masturbating while looking at by dick helped me out with getting more comfortable with my body. If you ever get intrusive thoughts telling you that you're a girl or anything like that just repeat a mantra like i'm a man or something to that extent. Feel free to dm me if you need any help.
You need to stop putting women up on a pedestal. Being a man doesn't mean mean you are a rapist or abuser or any of those things. Women are just as capable of evil as men are and every bad thing a man has done, a woman has done it too. I embraced my masculinity and started working out more so I wouldn't feel powerless anymore. There is a certain responsibility to being a man. There are people that abuse that power, but it's also the power to protect. You don't have to be the men that abused you, and maybe you can even protect others who were hurt by people like them.
I'd definitely say that capitalism hasn't helped the trans problem espically with the profit incentives for doing as much surgeries as possible, but having to pay out of pocket to transition has made a lot of people not go through with it. Besides, it seems like a large percentage of trans people are pro socialism at least on the internet due to their acceptance in those circles and their position on free healthcare.
The desire for males to transition mostly comes in the sexual and romantic fettishization of lesbians particularly in popular media which glamorises lesbian relationships and in pornography for straight males and a desire to life as a straight woman for gay men. The low value thing is real which i hate those pickup artists that bitch about that.
Agp isnt just about the sexual aspects though. There is a huge component to how we glamorize lesbian relationships and view them as better than straight relationships due to the lack of a power imbalance.
From your description it seems like you aren't benefiting from testosterone and it's making things worse. If you do detransition, you don't have to change the way you dress or act, though you probably should try and get used to people addressing you as a woman. It seems like a decent amount of your problems come from your neurodivergentcy, you can go to classes to help you socialize better and getting a support system is never a bad thing. The classes helped me out a bunch.
Idk. For me and a lot of agp it was because of sexual fantasies and how certain media pushes lesbian relationships as better than straight ones. For almost everyone they want to feel happy and believe transition will let them achieve that. I think most transitioners think the other sex has it easier though that really isn't true. Men and women both have issues and transition won't solve all your ales.
I'm just a layman but it could be psychosomatic like a placebo. Estrogen is basically prescribed as an antidepressant for trans people and new studies are showing that in many cases sugar pills are as effective as antidepressants. You also didn't take androgen suppressants did you? That is the other part to the transition treatment. If i'm wrong please correct me
Im a 6 ft 3 in 200 lb man and i gotta say it must be rough going through what you're going through. Working out and exercising is what keeps me sane and to have that feed into gender dysphoria would kill me. Idk how good the sub is but r/femalebodybuilding might be able to help you out bulking up without T. Good luck.
I ended up with agp/ dysphoria after only watching lesbian porn. It stoped after I quit lesbian porn, forced myself to accept my penis and the fact I am a man. I never transitioned thankfully but I had a desire to be female. If i weren't staunchly conservative and very tall with a masculine build then things might have played out differently but thankfully I never transitioned socially or medically. I dont really accept the detrans label since I never transitioned but the desisted label fits much better.