I'm sorry for you. He's not into you so I advise you cut off hope that it's going to last. Perhaps he's trying to hold on because deep down you're the same person and looks aren't forever and all, but this can't feasibly work if he's not interested in the present version of you.

I think the transmed communities can convince people to transition more than the alternatives. In the mainstream trans communities, it's more acceptable to have a stance where you choose to not physically transition ever.

Transmeds believe those who actively want to change their bodies and pass are the only real trans people and therefore kids like me who weren't called goddamn he/him-young man-sir enough start thinking "It's because I didn't try hard enough to pass. If I looked like a 'real' trans guy, my parents/friends would accept me."

My situation was odd because I'd push away the few people who did accept me at the time, but I think that especially for a lonely and mentally ill teenager (which half of transmeds are), just being accepted by a few people isn't enough. It hurt me a lot that nobody wanted to date me, and of course I jumped to thinking I just need to be physically male and then I'd be content.

Stupidly, the opposite happened to me. People thought I was attractive for the first and only time in my life and then I pushed them away because I wanted to be a guy. First boyfriend broke up with me because I came out as trans. I also started looking more masculine solely in an attempt to pass as male.

Now I want to just live my old life because people liked me then.

I don't feel that I am cis or trans. My transition to male will always be part of my life's story and I've taken a holistic approach where all versions of myself are me to avoid the dissociation I've been struggling with for so long. I am both the girl I was before transitioning and the boy I was when I transitioned. To deny either feels like erasing my life. Now I am just me. My body is female and androgynous, and I am myself.

My feelings of dysphoria were weren't enough to convince me to transition before I stopped medication. I believe I started presenting as male and eventually taking T during manic episodes. Being in certain trans communities at the time didn't help. There are so many things I wrote that document how I was nonsensical at times, suicidal, and had crazy schemes on how I'd reinvent myself and become likable. I also repeatedly confessed romantic feelings for people and had mental outbursts which all managed to tie into how I should become a man.

I was personally really jealous of men and so I could only be comfortable with romance if I put myself in the place of a man. Gay/bi men are the only guy who are attracted to this idealized version of myself, though I also liked plenty of straight ones.

I progressively destroyed my liveliness ever since I was broken up with for coming out as trans. I wanted to find the person who would accept me, but kept getting rejected, so I felt like it was a problem with me and I would stop chasing people if I were happy with my physical self. I did everything trying to pass as male and be accepted or liked back to no avail which is how I ended up taking T as a last resort. I did everything rashly because I felt suicidal and feared that one day I wouldn't be able to hold back the thoughts if I didn't become a guy. I can't say what would've happened without it, but I am still alive.

Eventually, I reconnected with someone who liked me for who I was/am all along regardless of transition. Stopped T and am slowly trying to heal my view of life.

They act as if people who detransition never felt pain or cannot relate when some of us have gone through dozens of different battles and still face the similar adversity to trans people.

Like, wow. Just because I was born a girl doesn't mean I can just be a woman in the way most women are. Not to mention that if I didn't believe I wanted to be male for most of my life, I would've never transitioned.

Your voice will change if you take any of that stuff. Can't confirm if it'd be any slower or not, but it will. At best, you just sound like you will a less expressive voice.

I wanted the same thing but realized I did not like looking like a man. Still continued to take T for months after concerned about not being a "real" trans person and therefore not deserving to be respected as male socially.

I am happy that, for some people, it stops them from undergoing medical changes they do not want. It's better than the other side where you'll have people feeling pressured to transition to fit in with cisgender people. If I didn't become absorbed with trans medical stuff I literally would've grown out of it in a year or two.