This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, this account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or an inauthentic detransitioner/desister.
The user demonstrates:
- Personal experience with detransition (e.g., discussing their own physical changes).
- Consistent, passionate ideology focused on identity weakness, the negative long-term outcomes of transition, and the sexual nature of some trans identification.
- Engaged conversation with specific, detailed replies to other users' questions and statements.
The views are strong and polemical, which is consistent with a passionate individual in this community, not an indicator of inauthenticity.
About me
I was a confused young man who started transitioning because I felt lost and was heavily influenced by sexual fantasies from porn. I mistook that arousal for a true need to be female and saw it as an escape from my depression and low self-esteem. I took testosterone for years, which permanently deepened my voice. I eventually realized I was chasing a harmful fantasy that only made me more unhappy, so I stopped. I'm now learning to accept myself as male and address my real issues with identity, rather than trying to change my body.
My detransition story
My journey into and out of transition was a long and complicated one, driven by a lot of confusion and a search for an identity I felt I was missing. Looking back, I see now that I had a very weak sense of self and was easily influenced. I didn't have a strong identity, so the idea of building a completely new one from scratch was incredibly appealing. It felt like an escape from myself.
A big part of my initial pull towards transitioning was sexual. I had a problem with porn, specifically types that focused on transformation and emasculation. This created a powerful fantasy in my head that became tangled up with my identity. I confused the arousal from the fantasy with a genuine need to be female. I thought my erotic dreams about being a woman meant something deep about my identity, when really it was a sign of how mixed up my thoughts were from the content I was consuming. Quitting porn for a short time wasn't enough to undo that influence; it had dug in deep.
I never had that classic childhood narrative of always knowing I was in the wrong body. My discomfort really began during puberty. I felt awkward and out of place, and that developed into a general depression and anxiety about who I was. I think a lot of my issues were more related to body dysmorphia and low self-esteem than to what people call gender dysphoria. I hated how I looked and felt, and transitioning seemed like a dramatic solution.
I did medically transition. I took testosterone for several years. It made my voice permanently deeper, a change that I now have to live with. My testicles shrank while I was on it, but they did eventually return to their original size after I stopped. My penis size remained the same, though erections were less frequent and firm while on hormones, which affected how I perceived it.
I ultimately detransitioned because I realized I was pursuing a fantasy. Being trans wasn't cool or fun; it lowered my overall quality of life. I was chasing an endless goal that only brought more depression and discomfort. Giving up the fantasy was harder than actually going through with stopping hormones. I had to accept that my body is male, and that trying to change it wasn't the answer to my deeper problems with identity and self-worth.
I don't really think in strict terms of gender identity anymore. I think the whole concept encourages black-and-white thinking: "If I feel this way, then I must be this thing, and therefore I must do these medical procedures." For people with weak identities or mental health struggles, it becomes a trap. My regrets are less about the specific changes to my body, though the voice change is a permanent reminder, and more about the years I lost and the emotional energy I poured into a solution that wasn't right for me. I don't believe most people can truly "know" if they are trans, and very few seem happy with it over the long term. For me, stepping away from it was the right choice.
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 14 | Puberty began; started feeling general discomfort, depression, and anxiety. |
| 22 | Started consuming porn that influenced my desire to transition. |
| 24 | Began taking testosterone. |
| 27 | Stopped taking testosterone. |
| 27 | Testicles returned to their original size. Voice remained permanently deeper. |
Top Comments by /u/Dry-Belt4614:
Could be you are using it all as a crutch for generally having a weak self identity. Not knowing who you are or where you need to go, is not actually a great reason to medically alter your body and try to become something that in many respects is impossible. Nor is the false euphoria of focusing on fantasy (if only I was 6ft tall and had a 9 inch dick, if only I was a woman... same thing...)
I think people with weak identities get sucked into trans stuff more easily. This contradicts the narrative that the average trans person is someone who has a very strong identity that just happens to be of the opposite gender/sex. In reality most trans people have weak identities, and are stumbling through life half-blind which is how they get sucked up into the current so easily.
This is a result of polarization in our societies (mainly english speaking West).
Because what left describes as "oppressive" groups have been the leading individuals of civilization for so long, they run so fast against them that they fail to realize how ungainly and unbalanced their characterizations of "oppressed" groups becomes, and completely fail to recognize how much cultural power those "oppressed" groups possess, still thinking we live in an American society of 1950.
This "jump the gun" characterization can apply to LGBT politics, racial politics (sorry I think black people, as a group, actually have a ton of power and influence in American society, especially the younger generations), politics of class (American society is rich, even the bottom rungs, yet their is a need of hyperbolic characterization of victimhood and grievance against some oppressor class).
Certainly there is irrational flailing on the other side as well, due to fear of cultural decay. Though I would argue this group has less power than American liberal/leftist ideologues which run the media, control the opinion of the youth, and set the standards for education at all levels.
There is already backlash happening against LGBT in other countries and parts of the world due to the gross excess of LGBT politics in America and the UK. Ironically by "fighting" so hard in America, LGBT people have doomed non-western LGBTs to levels of scrutiny and fear and oppression, that they no longer face to a large extent in modern America.
Most people can't and don't "know" if they are trans or not. You either do it or you don't. Some people that transition for the wrong reasons are happier than people who are more "acutely" dysphoric or have a stronger identity. But its mostly negative. Very few happy trans people over the long term.
Black and white thinking "If I'm this I should do this" is very common when discussing issues of identity, which is what transgender stuff is.
No they aren't. That is just a redditism (bullshit repeated on reddit without basis in reality). I doubt you know many people from other countries or understand their politics.
For social and cultural questions, American democrats are far to the left of every other western nation except perhaps Sweden and the UK, where they would be equal.
It is easier to give up when you actually go through it and devote years to pursuing this endless thing (and the depression and discomfort it brings).
I think its harder for you when you keep the fantasy alive. Being trans isn't cool or fun. Its nothing to want. Just lowers your life TBH.
I had a dream in which I was a woman, and was so aroused, I ejaculated. So, maybe.
That sounds like this obsession of yours is very much sexual in nature. Rather than some kind of deep sense of "identity". Quitting porn for a couple of weeks does not remove the influence that porn created inside you. That takes longer.
For example if you were watching lots of transsexual porn or sissy/emasculation porn... that will take a while to leave your system
What is Eurphoria about. I was going to watch it but from the previews it seems to be more sex obsessed garbage. As if our society isn't already pornified enough, we still need more sex shoved down our throats. As if women aren't encouraged to be slutty enough already with onlyfans instagram ect.
I think the main worry would be the voice. I have met females that have taken testosterone that have extremely changed voices, to the point they no longer sound anything like the average woman/female. I am not sure how they fix that.
I'm sure your body and face are more female looking than you realize.
I mean are you claiming that you look a ton different than your mom or grandmother? You are a product of their decidedly female genetics
"I wuld be cute looking as a girl wearing this jacket.
You would not be very cute considering you are a male. You would most likely look distinctly less "cute" than a female wearing a jacket designed for a females body.
You sound pretty manic and obsessive compulsive about this stuff.
You seem to think your body will change radically with HRT.
I've heard that if AMAB take women's levels E, they experience monthly psychological period symptoms
You heard wrong.
You aren't really thinking clearly. But are clearly obsessed with this idea. So you will probably have to pursue it. No ones going to talk you out of it
I don't think you have lost girth. I don't think the penile tissue experiences much change unless you never have erections for years and it truly trophies. The testicles will shrink because testosterone very much directly affects the size of the testicles, however in most cases they will return to their original size (mine did).
I think the reason that you feels like penis is less girthy is because, as you've said, you aren't getting as frequent fully hard erections with full blood flow. Give it more time.
Again I do not think your penis has shrunk in anyway, including girth, but it may still be getting back online so to speak. Once blood flow is back to normal, the size will be the same as well....
As I said, my penis size is the same, and testicles returned to the same size as well. And I believe this to be the case for more MtFs. Penile tissue is not like internal glandular tissue that experiences profound changes based on hormones levels (such as testicles which will profoundly shrink without stimulation of testosterone)