genderaffirming.ai 

Reddit user /u/DryIllustrating's Detransition Story

Transitioned: 19 -> Detransitioned: 25
female
low self-esteem
internalised homophobia
hated breasts
regrets transitioning
escapism
trauma
depression
influenced online
influenced by friends
got top surgery
puberty discomfort
started as non-binary
anxiety
benefited from non-affirming therapy
This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
On Reddit, people often share their experiences across multiple comments or posts. To make this information more accessible, our AI gathers all of those scattered pieces into a single, easy-to-read summary and timeline. All system prompts are noted on the prompts page.

Sometimes AI can hallucinate or state things that are not true. But generally, the summarised stories are accurate reflections of the original comments by users.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious

Based on the provided comments, the account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags indicating it is a bot or inauthentic. The user expresses a consistent, passionate, and personal viewpoint that aligns with known perspectives found within the detransitioner and desister community. The language is natural, and the comments reference personal anecdotes and developed opinions.

About me

I never felt like I fit in as a girl, and I started identifying as non-binary to escape the pressure of womanhood. I became convinced that top surgery would fix my deep discomfort, but after I had it, my anxiety and depression were still there. I realized I was trying to solve a mental health problem with a physical change, influenced by online communities and my own low self-esteem. Through therapy, I learned my issues were with society's expectations and my poor self-image, not with being female. I now regret the surgery and am learning to accept myself as a woman on my own terms.

My detransition story

My whole journey with this started because I never felt like I fit in as a girl. I hated going through puberty and developing breasts; it felt like my body was betraying me. I was also really depressed and had terrible anxiety, and I think a lot of that was tied to not feeling good enough as a woman. I saw other women online who seemed so confident and beautiful, and I felt like I could never measure up. I now realize I had really low self-esteem.

I started reading a lot online and found communities where people talked about not identifying with their birth sex. It felt like an answer. I decided I was non-binary first. It gave me a way to opt out of the pressure of being a woman. I felt like if I wasn't a woman, then I didn't have to live up to those impossible standards. I think this was a form of escapism for me. Looking back, I was definitely influenced by what I saw online and by friends who were also exploring their identities. It felt like a social contagion, something that was spreading through our group.

After a while, being non-binary didn't feel like enough. I became convinced that my breasts were the main source of my discomfort. I hated them so much. I thought if I got rid of them, I would finally feel comfortable in my own skin. So, I pursued top surgery. I was so sure it was the right thing to do. I thought changing my outside would fix what was wrong on the inside.

After the surgery, things didn't get better like I thought they would. The relief was temporary. I still felt the same anxiety and depression. I started to realize that my problem wasn't with my body itself, but with how I felt about myself and how I thought society saw me. I had internalized this idea that to be a valid woman, you had to be a certain kind of attractive, and since I felt I couldn't be that, I tried to leave womanhood altogether. I think there was some internalized homophobia there, too; it was easier to think I wasn't a woman than to just be a woman who didn't fit the stereotype.

I never took hormones or had bottom surgery, but the top surgery is something I now regret. My body is permanently changed because I was trying to solve a mental and emotional problem with a physical solution. I benefited greatly from therapy that wasn't affirming. Instead of just supporting my transition, my therapist helped me dig into the roots of my discomfort—my trauma, my low self-esteem, and my issues with my body image that were separate from gender. She helped me see that I was trying to escape from being me.

My thoughts on gender now are that it's incredibly complex. I think a lot of people, especially young women and autistic people who struggle to fit in, are vulnerable to latching onto transition as a solution. But for many of us, it's not about being born in the wrong body; it's about being deeply uncomfortable in the world and in the society we live in. I don't think people should transition if their main goal is to be a beautiful version of the opposite sex or to escape the pressures of their own. It has to be for yourself, completely separate from anyone else's gaze.

I don't regret the exploration because it led me to where I am now, but I deeply regret the permanent changes I made to my body. I'm learning to accept myself as a woman on my own terms, which is a much harder but more real journey.

Here is a timeline of my journey:

My Age Event
13-14 Started puberty; felt intense discomfort with my body, especially breast development. Felt depressed and anxious.
19 Discovered non-binary identities online and through friends; began identifying as non-binary as a way to cope with social pressures.
22 Decided non-binary wasn't enough; pursued top surgery to alleviate body discomfort.
23 Had top surgery. Realized after recovery that my underlying mental health issues remained.
24 Started non-affirming therapy, which helped me address my self-esteem, trauma, and body image issues. Began to understand my journey as an attempt to escape from womanhood.
25 (Now) Detransitioned. Living as a woman again and working on self-acceptance without permanent body modifications.

Top Comments by /u/DryIllustrating:

6 comments • Posting since June 21, 2023
Reddit user DryIllustrating (Questioning own gender identity) explains why they believe people should stop engaging with "woke lunatics," describing them as emotional vampires who are either stunted in a victim mindset or will grow out of it by age 30.
56 pointsJul 2, 2023
View on Reddit

Stop engaging and socialising with these losers, is my advice. You don’t owe them a conversation or debate. They are emotional vampires and societal lepers that as you get older you learn to have better boundaries with. Imho people either grow out of being a virtual signaling woke sjw by 30, or it becomes their entire identity as an adult because they’re totally stunted and stuck in a victim mindset because it’s easier than growing up mentally.

Reddit user DryIllustrating (Questioning own gender identity) comments about a family member who started new meds, identified as non-binary, cut off their family for perceived bigotry, and relates it to another user's sibling.
18 pointsJun 21, 2023
View on Reddit

Their sibling uses neo pronouns and draws really terrible furry porn for a living, I dont think it’s that far fetched. I have a family member who started several new meds, decided she was an enby, made that their entire personality, ans subsequently cut off the entire family for being “bigots” - like our grandma for trying to use but struggling to remember their pronouns. So I don’t think it’s that far fetched tbh.

Reddit user DryIllustrating (Questioning own gender identity) comments on the eerie pattern of non-binary individuals undergoing major surgery and then disappearing from social media, drawing parallels to a personal experience with a detrans family member and cult-like behavior.
16 pointsJun 21, 2023
View on Reddit

It’s the third women I have seen disappear from social media I used to follow who declared they were non binary and had major surgery and/or body mods to reflect that. it’s been eating at me for 2 years especially having a Detrans family member and a cult-like enby in the same branch, it felt eerily similar to a more at home situation.

Reddit user DryIllustrating (Questioning own gender identity) explains the dangers of medical transition for minors and "transtrenders" influencing vulnerable groups by promoting body alteration as a solution for unhappiness and a desire for social acceptance.
9 pointsJun 22, 2023
View on Reddit

I think the idea is for stopping kids from not getting to go through natural puberty because they’re so young they can’t be held accountable for these life-altering surgeries. I agree that adults who were brainwashed by social contagion are still victims worthy of empathy and activism. The majority of people simply are not trans but transtrenders are getting impressionable young adults, kids, and mentally ill adults to hinge their mental health and happiness on their body alteration- if you were just the other sex you’d be happy with yourself! And somehow they always want to pass and be perceived as a sexually attractive version of the opposite sex, it’s not truly for themselves it’s for the desire of social acceptance. That’s why so many autistic people are at risk for transtrenderism.

Reddit user DryIllustrating (Questioning own gender identity) comments on a sibling abandoning their sister after two abusive relationships, criticizing their emotional immaturity and use of neopronouns despite the father's support.
7 pointsJun 21, 2023
View on Reddit

Who abandons their sibling who they KNOW has been in two abusive relationships? Their father is supporting them regardless of his belief system. Doesn’t sound like she could financially or emotionally rely on this sibling who is so emotionally stunted they use neo pronouns.

Reddit user DryIllustrating (Questioning own gender identity) comments that transitioning to be a "beautiful woman" is misguided, explaining that even AFAB women struggle with feeling like "real women" due to societal pressure to perform femininity for the male gaze.
3 pointsJun 21, 2023
View on Reddit

Even AFAB women don’t feel like real women. We are taught from a young age to look hot for the male gaze to define our femininity. You shouldn’t imho transition if your goal is to be a beautiful woman. You should transition if you want to be female for your own self when you are alone with your eyes closed, and no other persons gaze. Because changing your outside won’t change your inside.