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Reddit user /u/Dubious555's Detransition Story

Transitioned: 25 -> Detransitioned: 29
male
internalised homophobia
took hormones
regrets transitioning
got bottom surgery
serious health complications
now infertile
homosexual
This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
On Reddit, people often share their experiences across multiple comments or posts. To make this information more accessible, our AI gathers all of those scattered pieces into a single, easy-to-read summary and timeline. All system prompts are noted on the prompts page.

Sometimes AI can hallucinate or state things that are not true. But generally, the summarised stories are accurate reflections of the original comments by users.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious

Based on the provided comments, the account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or a bad-faith actor.

The user demonstrates:

  • Specific, consistent medical knowledge about post-operative anatomy, hormone regimens, and surgical procedures over several years.
  • Personal, lived-experience details that are complex, emotionally nuanced, and internally consistent (e.g., dating struggles, surgical recovery, specific physical sensations).
  • A clear, sustained viewpoint that aligns with a known detransitioner perspective, including regret and criticism of medical transition, which is passionately held.

The account shows the hallmarks of a genuine individual sharing their personal and medical history.

About me

I transitioned from male to female and had surgery when I was 26, but I've been living as a man again for the past few years. I now believe a lot of my motivation was internalized homophobia, thinking becoming a woman would solve my discomfort with being a gay man. The surgery left me with permanent health issues and a very difficult dating life, as most people aren't interested in a man with a vagina. I have serious regrets and wish I'd had better therapy to explore my feelings before such a permanent decision. Now, I'm focusing on being a good dad to my son and learning to accept myself as the man I am, despite everything.

My detransition story

My whole journey with transition and detransition is complicated and, if I'm being honest, filled with a lot of regret. I was born male and I transitioned to female, and I had the full surgery to create a vagina. I was around 26 when I had that surgery. Now, I'm 32 and I've been living as a man again for a few years.

Looking back, I think a lot of my motivation to transition came from internalised homophobia. I'm attracted to men, and I think I hated the idea of being a gay man. I thought that if I became a woman, it would solve that problem and make me straight. I also just never felt like I identified with having a penis; using it for intercourse always felt like a chore to me, really blah. I thought getting rid of it was the answer.

After my surgery, I didn't have immediate regret. I remember the recovery was really hard. Everything was swollen and black and blue; I called it a "Frakenpussy." I hated the catheter and the packing in my vagina felt like a constant, uncomfortable erection. But I truly believed at the time that it was what I wanted.

It was only later that the regret set in. I realised that being a woman didn't fix my deeper issues. Dating became incredibly difficult. As a woman, I found it easy to meet people; men would approach me to chat or for sex, and women would just talk to me. Now, as a man again, it's completely different. Men don't approach me anymore, and to attract women, I feel like I have to try much harder with my appearance. Most women want to date a man with a penis, and most gay men aren't interested in a man with a vagina. My dating pool feels tiny.

I also have serious health complications to manage. Because I had the surgery, I have to be on some form of hormones for the rest of my life to avoid bone density issues. Right now, I'm on a low dose of testosterone, which has helped me feel better. I've been on it for about six months. I get annoying erections from my clitoris, which is more sensitive now, but it doesn't grow from testosterone like it would for a female taking T. I also have to deal with UTIs and yeast infections, which are no fun.

I often think about the permanence of it all. I'm now infertile. And the options to try and reconstruct a penis are not good. Phalloplasty surgeries look terrible to me, like a "beer can," and they are risky. You can lose your ability to orgasm, and I know someone who has had a disaster with it, dealing with pain, leaking urine, and losing his clitoris. I've looked into other options like transplants, but it's all very experimental. I feel stuck with the body I have now.

My thoughts on gender have changed completely. I don't believe having or not having certain body parts defines your gender. I am a man, even though I don't have a penis. I think of myself as a "male nullo," a man who has had a modification. I have to stop believing I was ever a woman; I was always a man who changed his body.

I absolutely have regrets. If I could turn back the clock, I would never have had the surgery. I was young and didn't have proper gatekeeping or therapy to really investigate the hidden reasons behind my desire to transition. I think there are a lot of people like me who are going to come out in the future with a lot of regret because there are too many cheerleaders for transition and not enough people asking the hard questions. It was too easy to get the surgery.

I'm trying to make the best of my life now. I have a seven-year-old son from a relationship I had before I transitioned, and we share custody. I'm focusing on being a good dad and learning to accept myself as I am, even with all the complications.

Age Event
~25 Started living socially as a woman.
26 Underwent vaginoplasty (gender confirmation surgery).
~29 Detransitioned and began living as a man again.
31 Began a low dose of testosterone hormone therapy.
32 Present day, 6 years post-op, continuing low dose T.

Top Comments by /u/Dubious555:

18 comments • Posting since December 2, 2019
Reddit user Dubious555 (detrans male) explains his support for Missouri's gatekeeping for minors, citing his own regret after GCS and the difficulty young people have making such decisions.
19 pointsApr 15, 2023
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I do think it's a good idea to have proper gatekeeping for minors and young adults. At that age it is very hard to make a smart decision. What older adults do that is their decision.

Hopefully it will help reduce the amount of people who experience regret, but in the future your going to see more with regret. I had GCS and i do regret my decision.

Reddit user Dubious555 (detrans male) comments on the Missouri Attorney General's investigation, explaining that a future surge in detransitioners is likely due to a lack of gatekeeping, too many "cheerleaders," and the ease of obtaining surgery.
15 pointsApr 15, 2023
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We are going to see a big detrans surge in the future with a lot of regret. The problem is there is not a lot of gatekeeping and to many cheerleaders, They always say transitioning will fix our issues, but does it really. It is also very easy to get the surgery

Reddit user Dubious555 (detrans male) explains the unique challenges of dating as a post-op detransitioned male, noting that finding a partner who is both accepting of his body and interested in a full relationship is extremely difficult.
14 pointsMay 20, 2023
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Post-op as well, I agree dating as a detrans male is much harder. You will find people that are OK with our body, but don't want a relationship. You will also find women who want a relationship, but they want everything in a relationship which we can't provide.

Reddit user Dubious555 (detrans male) explains the lack of MTFTM metoidioplasty options, noting that phalloplasty is the only current surgery despite its drawbacks, and shares his personal experience with limited clitoral growth after 6 months on testosterone.
11 pointsApr 11, 2023
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I have yet to see any information yet for MTFTM, and i think it will be years off. Our only option right now is Phalloplasty and that not 100% either. Many surgeries and very expensive.

I have been on testosterone for about 6 months and i haven't seen any growth in my clitoris outside of being more sensitive. Our clits don't grow from T like a FTM would. I get them annoying erections too, but them sensations are coming from our clits.

Reddit user Dubious555 explains that a lack of a penis does not preclude a relationship, noting intimacy can be achieved through fingers, tongue, and toys.
11 pointsDec 2, 2019
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There are plenty of women who would be interested in you. Some relationships are not just about sex. There are plenty of ways you can be intimate with a women with your fingers, tongue, toys, ect. Just because you don't have a penis doesn't mean a woman would turn you away.

Reddit user Dubious555 (detrans male) explains that post-op detrans men are still men, comparing their state to other body modifications and identifying as a "male nullo."
9 pointsApr 29, 2023
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As a post-op detrans male, i agree that you have to stop believing your a woman and that we are really men who have modified our bodies. Many men and women are into body modifications and they carry on with their life.

We don't need penises to be a man. There are many men living as men without a penis, As former penis owners, we know some men like to think their penis represents manhood, but that is a fallacy. I like to consider myself a male nullo.

Reddit user Dubious555 (detrans male) explains the hormonal necessity for detrans males after SRS, advocating for low-dose testosterone or estradiol to prevent bone issues.
8 pointsJan 11, 2022
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I am a detrans male who had SRS 5 years ago. I am presently doing a small dose of testosterone and i feel much better. Since we had SRS, we do need some type of hormones to avoid bone issues. Some people who detransition do either a small dose of testosterone or estrodial.

Reddit user Dubious555 (detrans male) explains his and a friend's positive experiences with low-dose HRT after detransitioning.
8 pointsSep 14, 2020
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Post-op here also,I went on a low dose of T and i was hesitant at first, but gave it a try. I have handled it well and have had no issues.

I also have a friend who is post-op also and he went on a low dose of E and he is doing well. It has been three years since he went back to living as a male.

Reddit user Dubious555 (detrans male) explains that post-metoidioplasty swelling is normal arousal-related blood flow to the mons pubis and labia, similar to a penile erection.
5 pointsApr 12, 2023
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Some Doctor's have different techniques. They just have left it there for the very reason you are describing. The area you are describing is our mons pubis and that is normal when we are aroused. I get the swelling and the erection of my clit, and your right that it does feel good. It is normal that when we get aroused that blood rushes to our vaginal area just like it did to our penis. My labia majora even get puffy from the blood rushing to that area. Vagina's are a mystery.

Reddit user Dubious555 (detrans male) explains the physical and emotional consequences of gender-affirming surgery, including loss of clitoral sensitivity, painful recovery, and the complex reasons behind his own transition.
3 pointsApr 13, 2023
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Our clits are very delicate and sensitive, that is where all our nerves are. I was circumcised and my clit is way more sensitive then my penis glans where, I am glad it's hooded. He knew it was a risk when he had phalloplasty, but sadly he lost his clit in the process.

You have been lucky so far, I have dealt with a couple UTI's and yeast infections and they are no fun. During my recovery i dealt with granulation tissue, stitches, ect. The healing was no fun, i just couldn't get comfortable.

$ hours after surgery and experiencing regret is sad. You where only 18 and that is young too. I didn't experience that after my surgery. All i remember is like having a constant hard-on that wouldn't go away, that was the packing in my vagina. I also hated the catheter and was ever so glad to get that out. When the bandages came off, mine was so swollen and black and blue, it looked like a Frakenpussy.

I am glad your mentally off better and i a good place, that is important. I can understand your hatred for being gay and getting rid of your penis would resolve the issue and make you a straight girl. Gay men are attracted to penises and not vagina's. I do see some gay men transitioning to female for different reasons. Maybe if you took your time to sort things out, you would have had a different result. I dated a girl before transition, got her knocked up, and have a 7 yr old son we share custody. Intercourse with a penis to me seemed more like a chore, really blah. I felt like i couldn't identify with my penis and i hated it. Maybe if i had been born a girl, things would have been better.