This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account "DucksDontBiteDoThey" appears authentic. The user demonstrates a deep, nuanced, and personal understanding of detransition, internalized homophobia, and radical feminist perspectives. The writing is highly consistent, emotionally complex, and shows a clear, evolving personal narrative over time. There are no red flags suggesting this is a bot or an inauthentic account. The passion and specific, detailed experiences align with a genuine detransitioner or desister.
About me
My journey started as a teenager when puberty made me feel deeply uncomfortable in my developing female body. I transitioned because I wanted to escape that feeling and the pressures of being a lesbian in a religious family, believing becoming a man was the answer. Taking testosterone and having surgery only made my dysphoria worse, and I later realized my pain came from internalized misogyny, not from being female. Now I understand I am a woman because I was born female, and I've found peace by accepting myself as a gender non-conforming lesbian. While I have regrets about the permanent changes, I no longer see my body as the enemy.
My detransition story
My whole journey with transition started when I was a teenager. I'm autistic, and I really struggled with puberty. It felt like, seemingly overnight, my body became something else. I felt like my innocence was gone and that my body had become "pornography." I felt dirty. I hated the way I was suddenly sexualized just for growing into a woman. It was a deep discomfort that I didn't know how to handle.
A big part of why I transitioned was because of the way it was portrayed in the media I consumed. It was always shown as this heroic act, like a phoenix rising from the ashes. Your old self dies, and a new, better, happier person is born. I liked that idea of self-harming my way to happiness; it felt like a kind of martyrdom. It was portrayed as breaking out of a cage, and I desperately wanted to break out of the cage I felt my female body had become.
I also struggled with internalized homophobia. I'm a lesbian, and growing up in a Catholic family, I felt a lot of pressure. Part of me thought that if I became a man, I could be the heterosexual son my parents would be proud of, the one who could bring a girl home without any issues. The trans community offered me kinship and understanding at a time when I felt very alone and out of place as a gay person. I was tired of being lonely, and I had this fantasy of being a handsome, charismatic man that women would swoon over. It was an escape.
I took testosterone and had top surgery. But transitioning didn't solve my problems. In fact, it made my dysphoria worse. I realized that my body wasn't the problem; the problem was how I saw my body and how society treats women. What really helped me was discovering radical feminist literature. Reading writers like Andrea Dworkin was a turning point. It made me see that the thoughts I had about myself—that I was weak, a failed woman, worthless—weren't my own. They were drilled into me by a misogynistic culture. It helped me understand that my discomfort wasn't with being female, but with the misogyny that comes with it.
I don't see my body as an enemy anymore. I understand now that being a woman has nothing to do with how you act or dress. I'm still just as gender non-conforming as I was when I identified as trans. I am a woman because I was born female, and that's a biological reality. I've come to accept that I will always have moments of dysphoria—it comes in waves—but I can manage it now. I focus on doing things I love, like drawing or learning languages, where I can forget about my body altogether.
I have regrets about my transition. I regret that I permanently altered my body because I was trying to escape homophobia and misogyny. I regret that I fell for an ideology that, in the end, I see as harmful. I think the transition industry should be scrutinized much more, the same way we criticize the plastic surgery industry. It preys on people's insecurities.
Now, I've found a sense of peace in accepting that I am a female human being, an animal in the same way a lioness or a mare is female. I don't "feel" like a woman; I just am one. And I've found a lot of comfort in connecting with other women and realizing we share so many of the same struggles. I missed that connection when I was living as a man.
Here is a timeline of my journey based on what I remember:
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| Early Teens (Puberty) | Started feeling intense discomfort with my developing female body. Felt sexualized and dirty. |
| Around 17-18 | Discovered trans narratives online and began to believe transition was the solution. Started socially identifying as male. |
| 19 | Began taking testosterone. |
| 21 | Underwent top surgery (double mastectomy). |
| Mid-20s | Realized transition was not helping my dysphoria. Began reading radical feminist theory, which helped me understand the root of my pain. |
| Late 20s | Stopped testosterone and began living as a woman again. Accepted that I am a gender non-conforming lesbian woman. |
Top Comments by /u/DucksDontBiteDoThey:
I'm autistic and struggled a lot with how growing into a woman tainted my innocence, the perfect child self I wanted to stay as forever. Seemingly overnight my body became pornography. I felt dirty. I definitely fell for the depictions of transition in art, always portrayed as a sort of breaking of the cage. It took me so long to realize my body wasn't the problem...
Yes. Radical feminism is a liberation movement for all female people whether they be trans or nonbinary identified or not.
I sense a strange dichotomy in your post though. First you say you're comfortable with the reality of being female, then ask if your "identity as a trans man" would be respected. What do you mean by that? Are you asking if the radfems in question would call you "he"? Well, from my experience that varies from radfem to radfem, some are more open to using preferred pronouns but the general rule is just using sex based ones. If you're as comfortable with your femaleness as you say you are then what's the problem?
“Many women, I think, resist feminism because it is an agony to be fully conscious of the brutal misogyny which permeates culture, society, and all personal relationships.” ― Andrea Dworkin, Our Blood: Prophecies and Discourses on Sexual Politics
It's hard being so acutely aware of how one's own sex is treated in society. But there are women like you out there! Don't lose hope!
You are not a radfem then. Radical feminist is about liberating and supporting all female people as well as acknowledging that biological sex cannot be changed. Trans men are not males and will never be males, they are still just as affected by female only issues (abortion for example) as any other female. This is like a core belief of the movement c'mon.
Yeah, me too. I liked how so much media portrayed transition as a sort of suicide. Your old self dies and a new, better and happier person rises from their ashes like a phoenix. The idea you can self-harm your way to happiness. Very much a feeling of martyrdom.
As much as this tattoo is meant to portray someone who's escaped womanhood, they seem to have not escaped the ways our society often portrays female figures in art. Headless and naked. Just a body, not a person. With no thoughts or agency of it's own, not even eyes to look back at the viewer or communicate any sort of emotion. An object, a decoration...
Glad you could relate. I wish it would be more acceptable for girls and women to voice their dislike of being extremely sexualized the moment they start puberty. The only socially acceptable options right now seem to be "embrace it" or "transition". Any differing opinions invite people egging you on to choose one or the other. What if I want to be a person and a woman and not one or the other? :/
Depends on what you mean by "lost sisters". Many radfems are detrans, desisted or otherwise dysphoric. Many of them feel their transition was fueled by a desire to escape misogyny. Many of them want to help other women escape what they see as a harmful ideology preying on their fears.
Additionally, I might add that yes there is a emphasis on femaleness and sisterhood in radfem spaces. Yes, I realize it might be off-putting for someone from the outside looking in. What you need to realize is that a lot of women in these spaces have probably never had a space where they could freely talk about their body, themselves and being a woman outside of a context of femininity and the culture of shame around femaleness prevalent in most of the world. So that might explain the prevalent use of words like "sister" to refer to other women.
Please understand that your body is not your enemy. It is not against you and it is not punishing you. If you think your only worth is in your reproductive capabilities then that shows you have been sold a misogynistic lie.
Your body is not a moral agent in and of itself. Form does not equal function. Just because you have the ability to get pregnant doesn't mean your body desires and needs it to happen. If anything, the female body is designed to actively protect itself against the harm of pregnancy and birth.
Do you know how hard it actually is for a woman to get pregnant? A healthy couple trying to conceive can go years without managing to do it. It is because you can only get pregnant during a narrow window of five to six days a month during ovulation. Even if they succeed at conceiving the couple in question would be advised to not announce the pregnancy to their friends and family before 12 weeks have gone. You know why? Because of the HUGE possibility the embryo will spontaneously miscarry. The female body is actively hostile to it and will attempt to flush it out. It happens much more often to male fetuses because the Y chromosome does not protect it from genetic abnormalities the same way a second X would. If you've ever gone a basic biology course in uni you would know how fickle the Y chromosome is and how often it harbors genetic defects, ranging from mild ones like colorblindness to serious ones like Duchenne muscular dystrophy (male superiority indeed).
Let's go back to our embryo now. Do you know what a placenta is? It's an organ that protects the fetus from the mother. Yes, you've read that right. It's an organ built by the fetus to hide itself from the mother and to leech resources off of her. Because the mother's body is constantly trying to find a way to kill and flush out the fetus. When the mother starves, gets too stressed, gets sick, has a vitamin deficiency, drinks too much coffee etc. etc. a miscarriage is likely to happen. The body will always, always, always prioritize it's own survival over the survival of the fetus. Likewise, your wide hips aren't there for the child. They're there to protect YOU, so that if YOU happen to get pregnant and give birth, your pelvis is wide enough so that you can do it without having the fetus getting stuck and killing you.
Let's drop the topic of pregnancy now. You seem to lament your lack of upper body strength compared to that of a man. I'm sorry but in what world do you live where brute physical strength in any way makes someone superior to another? Humans aren't tigers or polar bears. We are not lone predators where the individuals ability to lift and run guarantees their survival and prosperity. We're SOCIAL animals!! We were always meant to collaborate and work together. If anything, being an aggressive and antisocial creature, the type a lot of meathead men seem to idolize, makes you more vulnerable to being ostracized and therefore to not survive. Learning languages, sharing art, organizing events and helping one another is 10000 more powerful than any individual's muscles could ever be. And women are by and large more pro-social and community oriented and involved in these things. That is a wonderful thing and do not let anyone tell you otherwise!
Ah, I could go on and on but I've written enough now and my coffee has already gone cold (lol). In any case, please, please understand that a lot of the things you seem to idolize are subjective!!! Your view of the world, the ideology of male superiority, is not an absolute!! It is manufactured precisely to make capable and intelligent women like yourself feel isolated, useless and depressed. I know you've specifically requested for anyone commenting to not bring ideology into the discussion but know that this request means nothing to me when you yourself seem so ideologically driven. Male supremacy is an ideology. Women having no worth besides male servitude is an ideology. It doesn't have to be this way. All the best wishes to you, friend!
I'm not for banning it. But it should definitely be scrutinized and criticized more. Like how we can all agree that plastic surgery is majority shady malpractice. We can look at all these celebrities getting BBLs, breast implants and buccal fat removal and agree that it's our weird obsession with beauty and youth, mental illness and propaganda from many industries that's causing people to undergo these surgeries. We should be able to do the same with the transition industry.