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Reddit user /u/East_Guitar_4290's Detransition Story

female
low self-esteem
internalised homophobia
regrets transitioning
escapism
trauma
autogynephilia (agp)
depression
influenced online
influenced by friends
only transitioned socially
This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
On Reddit, people often share their experiences across multiple comments or posts. To make this information more accessible, our AI gathers all of those scattered pieces into a single, easy-to-read summary and timeline. All system prompts are noted on the prompts page.

Sometimes AI can hallucinate or state things that are not true. But generally, the summarised stories are accurate reflections of the original comments by users.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious

Based on the provided comments, this account appears to be authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or an inauthentic detransitioner/desister.

The user demonstrates deep, nuanced, and personal engagement with complex topics like AGP, internalized misogyny, and the social dynamics of transition/detransition. Their comments are highly specific, varied, and show a consistent, developed perspective built from claimed lived experience over many posts. The tone is passionate and critical, which aligns with the expected stance of a genuine desister who is frustrated with the ideology and harm they perceive.

About me

I started identifying as trans in my late teens because I was a tomboy and felt pressured by feminine stereotypes, influenced heavily by my friend group. A relationship with a man who had a severe fetish for being a woman showed me how destructive those fantasies could be and made me question everything. I realized my discomfort wasn't with being female, but came from trauma and low self-esteem, and that it's okay to be a masculine woman. By focusing on my physical health and unpacking my internalized misogyny, I overcame my dysphoric feelings. I no longer identify as trans and am now comfortable just being me, a woman who doesn't have to fit into a specific box.

My detransition story

My journey with gender started in my late teens. I was always a tomboy growing up, not as feminine as my sister, and I felt like I wasn't very good at being the type of popular, stereotypical girl people expected. In high school, I started hanging out with a social circle that was heavily into trans identities, and that really influenced me. I began to feel alienated from other women and started suppressing my feminine traits. I think a lot of my negative feelings about womanhood came from emotional trauma and low self-esteem, not from a true disconnect with my sex.

Around this time, I was also in a long-term relationship with a man who had autogynephilia (AGP). He had a severe porn addiction and was obsessed with the idea of being a woman online. He would roleplay as a woman using my pictures on white nationalist websites, which was a huge shock when I found out. He was fascinated by anything uniquely female, even pregnancy, and would engage in these elaborate, fetishistic fantasies. Seeing his behavior, which often involved manipulative mind games and treating women poorly, especially when he was angry, made me question a lot of things. It showed me how destructive a porn addiction and these fetishes could be.

I never medically transitioned; I only transitioned socially for a period. I identified as trans and used a different name and pronouns, but I didn't take hormones or have surgery. A big part of my desisting was realizing that it's completely okay to be a masculine or tomboyish woman. Not every woman has to be hyper-feminine, and that's fine. I had to rebuild my wardrobe with more feminine clothes after a flood ruined my old ones, and I kept some androgynous pieces I liked, like a dragon necklace.

Working on my overall health, like going to the gym and taking Vitamin D3, really helped with my depressive and dysphoric feelings. Getting my nutrition right was a big step in feeling better about myself. I also had to unpack a lot of internalized misogyny I had developed from my social circle and my past relationship.

I don't believe I was ever truly transgender. For me, it was a way to cope with trauma, low self-esteem, and social influences. I now see gender as a social concept, but I understand that I am a female, and that's just a biological reality. There's nothing wrong with being a woman who has masculine interests or a more androgynous style.

I don't have any regrets about not medically transitioning, but I do regret the time I spent identifying as trans and the negative impact that social circle had on my life. It alienated me from old friends and reinforced a lot of negative thoughts about myself. I'm glad I found my way out of it and can now embrace being a woman without feeling like I have to fit into a specific box.

Age Event
9-10 Described as an introverted tomboy, not as feminine as my sister.
Late Teens Started identifying as trans socially due to influence from trans friend group and internalized misogyny.
Late Teens Was in a relationship with an AGP male; his behavior and porn addiction made me question things.
Early 20s Began to desist, stopped identifying as trans. Realized it was okay to be a masculine woman.
Early 20s Worked on my health (gym, nutrition, Vitamin D) which helped improve my mood and self-image.
Early 20s Rebuilt my wardrobe with feminine clothes after a flood, kept some androgynous items I liked.

Top Comments by /u/East_Guitar_4290:

38 comments • Posting since January 8, 2025
Reddit user East_Guitar_4290 (desisted female) comments on Trump's executive order, highlighting a section that suggests creating a pro-therapy protocol for minors with gender dysphoria.
81 pointsJan 29, 2025
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If anyone wants to read the full text:

https://www.whitehouse.gov/presidential-actions/2025/01/protecting-children-from-chemical-and-surgical-mutilation/

This section caught my eye:

(b) The Secretary of HHS, as appropriate and consistent with applicable law, shall use all available methods to increase the quality of data to guide practices for improving the health of minors with gender dysphoria, rapid-onset gender dysphoria, or other identity-based confusion, or who otherwise seek chemical or surgical mutilation.

It sounds like they're going to create a pro-therapy / mental health protocol, which would be ideal.

Reddit user East_Guitar_4290 (desisted female) comments on a Trump executive order, suggesting society has reached 'peak trans' and can now have honest discussions about halting child medicalization and the role of autogynephilia.
77 pointsJan 29, 2025
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It feels like we may have finally reached the point of 'peak trans' and that more & more people have begun to admit that children do not need hormones & surgeries.

I also hope this allows society to discuss issues like autogynephilia in a more honest way. I've often thought that part of why the trans movement has put so much emphasis on medicalizing 'trans kids' is that doing so obscures the issue of autosexuality. I hope that, now that the narrative has begun to weaken, society can have an honest and non-judgemental discussion about the fact that there are multiple causes of gender dysphoria.

Reddit user East_Guitar_4290 (desisted female) explains how AGP males may fetishize pregnancy as a uniquely female experience, often using online role-play to seek attention and reinforce their identity.
66 pointsJan 16, 2025
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I was in a long term relationship with an AGP male and, to be blunt, they will fetishize anything that is womanly. It can be body parts, behaviors, mannerisms, etc.

Since pregnancy is a uniquely female experience, many of them end up with odd fantasies about it. You can go to any website or sub where AGPs concentrate and you'll see at least one or two of them who do this. There are also fetish blogs produced by AGPs ('TG captions') and a lot of these sites have stories where the main character magically turns into a pregnant women. It's not the most common AGP fantasy, but it does exist.

There's also a strong tendency among AGPs to engage in role-playing, so a lot of the 'will I ever be able to be pregnant? uwu' stuff is just them trying to get others to engage in a mutual LARP. This is fun for them and it also publicly reinforces their claimed status of being a woman 'on the inside.' It's actually a sign of covert narcissism to troll for attention in this way.

I genuinely wish AGPs the best, but they really do need help and often that means admitting they're porn addicts. Sadly, since many are highly narcissistic, it's not common for them to seek out honest advise.

Reddit user East_Guitar_4290 (desisted female) explains how mass media and internet culture influence youth, viewing "trans kids" as narrative "proof," and discusses the role of fetish-driven individuals in encouraging young people to transition.
48 pointsFeb 28, 2025
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Yes, the mass media (and internet culture) are absolutely having an effect on kids. I'm now in my 20s and started identifying as trans in my late teens. I knew plenty of biological girls who had begun identifying as trans / non-binary / etc. much earlier.

There is also a very strong cultural obsession with 'trans kids.' This is because trans identifying children are viewed as the ultimate 'proof' of the trans narrative.

This is also part of why I'm a bit blunt about the sexual motives of some transitioners, as I've seen how fetish driven people will often enable and encourage others, including those who are quite young, to be gender non-conforming.

Reddit user East_Guitar_4290 (desisted female) comments on a case where a non-binary identifying woman with PCOS felt an immediate improvement in her gender identity after treatment involving anti-androgens and a healthy diet.
37 pointsFeb 4, 2025
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I know of a case in which a non-binary identifying woman with PCOS felt immediate improvement in her sense of gender identity after her PCOS was treated. I don't know what her treatment plan was, but I think it involved anti-androgens & a healthy diet plan.

Reddit user East_Guitar_4290 (desisted female) discusses the different motivations for transition between teen girls and adult males, criticizing the media's focus on male detransitioners.
31 pointsJan 14, 2025
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I fully support taking accountability, but a lot of people (especially women) transitioned in their early teens when they had a very limited understanding of these issues.

The focus on ideology obfuscates a genuine desire. It was not mere brainwashing. We wanted this. We took advantage to justify our own desires.

I think this viewpoint ('taking advantage of an ideology to justify desires) is more common among adult male transitioners than among detrans women. A lot of women who transitioned did so out of negative feelings about themselves, their connection to womanhood, etc. Many struggled with self-esteem issues for years before IDing as trans.

I think that's a very different experience, especially compared to someone with AGP. I've listened to the stories of adult male transitioners and it's often, "I couldn't resist." I have sympathy for them but I feel like they're coming from a very different place.

I'm exhausted seeing detransitioners go on conservative podcasts and play victim. "Oh gee, I didn't know men are allowed to wear nail polish. Now I know. Oopsies." Yes you did. We all did. We need to take responsibility in ourselves.

Tbh, I'm personally a bit tired of conservatives assuming / thinking that most detransitioners are males. Men are more likely to be conservative so 'male detransitioner' will pull in more views / clicks, but it warps perceptions.

I once told an intelligent and well read conservative relative that most of the people transitioning were teen girls and he was shocked. He immediately said, "Really? Why isn't anyone reporting about that?"

Reddit user East_Guitar_4290 (desisted female) explains how AGPs may fetishize pregnancy, citing a 'trans widow's' blog about her husband's behavior during her pregnancy.
29 pointsJan 16, 2025
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There's a woman (Ute Heggen) who has a blog where she describes being a 'trans widow.' She said that her husband started to go off the fetishistic deep end while she was pregnant.

Pregnancy is an exclusively female experience and AGPs fetishize anything that's womanly (bodies, behaviors, mannerisms, etc.). So a lot of them have weird views about pregnancy.

Reddit user East_Guitar_4290 (desisted female) questions if a brain study on trans people controls for HRT, citing research that birth control pills can alter brain structure.
29 pointsFeb 8, 2025
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Does the study control for HRT use? I ask because we have data showing that the brain's structure is impacted by hormone levels. There are even measurable differences in women on long term birth control pills vs not on the pill:

https://www.healthline.com/health/your-brain-on-birth-control#research

Reddit user East_Guitar_4290 (desisted female) explains how AGP individuals often use transhumanist fantasies and mutual role-play to fetishize pregnancy.
28 pointsJan 16, 2025
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A lot of AGPs are fascinated with transhumanism and think of humans as being similar to computers or robots so they write out fantasies about hyper advanced technical 'solutions.'

There's also a strong element of fantasy, many of the more self aware ones know that what they're saying is downright silly but they want others to engage in a mutual role-play with them.

Reddit user East_Guitar_4290 (desisted female) comments that while a Trump order may cause some to double down and face opposition from wealthy interests, it could help young teens whose parents are unsure by preventing them from accessing DIY transition and giving them time to grow out of it.
24 pointsJan 29, 2025
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I'm worried about the same thing, a lot of people who are caught up in the ideology see themselves as 'fighting the system' so they'll just double down. There are also a lot of wealthy people making money off the trans movement, so they'll probably fight this as hard as they can.

This might be helpful though for the tweens & early teens whose parents aren't super invested in transition. Those kids are too young to DIY and a lot of them will grow out of it if given a bit more time.