This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, this account appears to be authentic. There are no serious red flags indicating it is a bot or a bad-faith actor.
The user demonstrates:
- Personal, detailed narratives of their transition, detransition, and surgical experiences.
- Emotional complexity and a clear, evolving perspective that includes grief, anger, and a desire to help others.
- Consistent internal logic in their advice, which aligns with common detransitioner experiences and concerns (e.g., medical complications, regret, navigating healthcare, societal pressures on women).
- Practical, specific advice about procedures like breast reconstruction, showing a deep personal investment in the topic.
The account exhibits the passion and strong opinions expected from someone who has lived this experience.
About me
My journey started with a deep discomfort during puberty that made me feel disconnected from my female body, and I was convinced by online communities that this meant I was a man. I took testosterone for over two years and had top surgery, which caused severe health problems and permanent damage. A turning point was realizing I wanted to be my boyfriend's girlfriend, which made me question everything and begin to detransition. I am now a woman again, living with the grief and permanent changes from my medical transition, including infertility and chronic pain. Despite the regret, I have found a happiness and peace I never had before by finally accepting my biological reality.
My detransition story
My whole journey started with a deep discomfort during puberty. I felt completely disconnected from my body, like I had no control over what was happening to me. I didn't feel like other girls my age; I was ostracized and never felt adequate. I hated my curves and breasts and only felt comfortable in baggy, tomboy clothes that hid my shape. This, combined with my existing depression, anorexia, and suicidal thoughts, led me to believe I must be trans. The online communities I was in told me that my aversion to being feminine and my body discomfort meant I was a man. I now realize I was just deeply uncomfortable with my body and struggling with my mental health.
I started testosterone and was on the maximum dose for over two years. I genuinely believed it would help me become the person I saw in my head, but that vision was a delusion. Testosterone was like an enemy to my female body; it destroyed me. I was in and out of the ER multiple times with serious health complications from the hormones. I also got top surgery, a double incision mastectomy. I never passed as a male and was always treated differently as a transgender person. The whole experience was filled with suffering, pain, and medical cruelty, all to reach something that was utterly unattainable.
A big turning point for me was when I got my first boyfriend. I hated being called his "boyfriend." I realized I wanted to be his girlfriend. That was the first thing that made me stop and really question everything. Why did I want that? It started me on the path to realizing I had made a mistake.
Since detransitioning, I have been off testosterone for two years. I still struggle with body dysmorphia and the permanent changes. I lost my original voice, my breasts, and my healthy body. I have pain and loss of sensation in my chest, three years after top surgery. I am now infertile and have to worry about the long-term impact on my fertility and natural hormone levels. I am currently looking into breast reconstruction with expanders and implants, which is a difficult process.
I went through a long period of grief. It took me almost two years to stop having fits where I would just cry and lay in bed all day, thinking about what I had done. I was angry—angry at the providers who did this to me and angry at the transgender activism that pushed this narrative. But I’ve also found happiness I never had before or during my transition. I’ve found joy in feminine activities and have a better relationship with my family. I am much happier and healthier now that I am not trying to force myself to be a man.
I do regret transitioning. I regret the permanent damage I did to my body. I regret that I was failed by medical professionals who should have helped me with my underlying depression, anxiety, and eating disorder instead of affirming a false identity. My thoughts on gender now are that we cannot change our sex. I see non-binary identities as people ultimately being their birth sex; it feels like it forces people to disregard reality. I am a woman, and that is my biological reality. I’ve learned to find value in that, even with all the difficulties that come with being a woman in this world.
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 16 | Began feeling severe discomfort with puberty, body, and developing breasts. Became depressed and anorexic. |
| 18 | Started identifying as transgender and began testosterone (T) therapy. |
| 20 | Underwent double incision top surgery. |
| 22 | Stopped testosterone after over 2 years on a max dose due to severe health complications and realization of mistake. Began the process of detransitioning. |
| 24 | (Present) Have been off T for 2 years. Living as a woman and seeking breast reconstruction. |
Top Comments by /u/Eastern_Collar_7755:
In my opinion, these behaviors don’t come naturally to Page bcuz Page is biologically female and is masquerading as something Page will never be (a man). I completely agree that Page looks miserable - I’ve also noticed that Page has been cut out of some group cast events and interviews. I stopped watching UA when the trans narrative began, I hated what they did to Vanya’s character and I hate that female representation is such a joke in media now. FTM transition is thankless regardless of whether you have a starting point or not. I had an ideal vision in my head of myself when I began testosterone. That vision was a delusion that could never become reality. Testosterone is a powerful drug that is essentially an enemy to the female body - it destroys you. I was in and out of the ER multiple times due to complications with HRT, I put my body and myself through suffering, pain, medical cruelty to reach something that is utterly unattainable. To me, THAT is why Page looks miserable. To think that transition could ever make you happy, is a dire mistake. I transitioned for over 2 years, was on the max dose of T, had top… I never passed, I was always treated differently as a transgender male. Since detransition, I still struggle with body dysmorphia, but I am so much happier and healthier than I was when I was trying to force myself to be a man. I genuinely pity and feel bad for Page. I also (my opinion) see Page detransitioning in the future.
I’m sorry you’re struggling with this, know you’re not alone and your feelings are valid.
r/detranstwo has restrictions on detrans people it seems so it wouldn’t be a viable option for me. Why do I have to censor myself in the name of transphobia when gender ideology is what destroyed my physical health? There’s the discord and a lot of detrans people are making Twitter accounts. Hopefully this sub will stay up tho.
I don’t have any specific doctor suggestions but when I detransitioned, I called a few different OBGYNs and endocrinologists, explained my situation (“I transitioned from female to male for [time period] and have since detransitioned. I was on hormones for [time period] at [dose] and I’m extremely worried about the impact on my fertility and my natural hormone levels. I’m looking to have both my fertility and natural hormone levels checked”), and the ones who I liked I scheduled an appointment with. If a Dr gave me a bad vibe, I didn’t schedule. It might help to call around some fertility centers and ask if they are willing to run some tests.
Otherwise (and I know this option sucks) maybe going to a clinic that also does HRT would be beneficial because those providers would (theoretically) already know the effects and what to look for. Again I know that one sucks :( It’s genuinely sick that detrans healthcare is practically nonexistent because of how experimental trans healthcare is.
I really hope you are able to get pregnant. Idk if you’re religious but I’ll pray for you regardless and I really really hope you can conceive and have a healthy baby <3 I’m sorry you’re in this situation!
EDIT: btw someone posted this on Twitter, just a heads up -> https://twitter.com/jenniferlahl/status/1575497101898698752?s=46&t=4M7LwXAQofMnjMNs4BA08g
Personally I understand why ppl use they them pronouns and claim to be nb, but I think it’s very annoying & ultimately I see nb ppl as their birth sex. Its shitty in that it forces ppl to disregard reality - for ex a lot of nb females dress very femininely but want ppl to use they/them which doesn’t make any sense to me. I wouldn’t not talk to someone for identifying as nb but I don’t think of it as a legit thing.
I am so sorry you’ve been getting so many weird and narcissistic replies on this! People be wildin.
As a woman I can HEAVILY relate. I was just talking to my mom about how shitty life can be for women, the convo was sparked after seeing the news about that mom kidnapped and murdered in Memphis TN. Even something as innocent as taking an early morning jog can be fatal for women. Even something as mundane as wearing a ponytail can be used against us. It’s horrible.
I also struggle heavily with feeling objectified. I have some curves & I def notice looks in public. It’s absolutely not flattering and sometimes I feel like I need to wear big sweaters so men won’t stare at my ass. It’s almost impossible to exist as a woman without being overly sexualized in some way. The way American society is now makes it even worse - the value of a woman is closely tied to how attractive and sexy she is. Women can even perpetuate this standard themselves. I hear you, your feelings are 100% valid.
I’m so sorry I don’t have much advice but I just wanted you to know that you are NOT alone in feeling this way. It helps for me when I go out with my girlfriends or group of other people - I also try to always have earbuds in so men don’t approach me or I’m on the phone when I’m in public. I always carry pepper spray, it just makes me feel safer even though I’ve never had to use it (thank God). I’m sorry girly. Again I wish I had some good advice, I just hope you feel better and are able to find some solace in this. Maybe on the flip side you could find some positives about being a woman that make life great. Sending you strength & love <3
I’ve also had complete breakdowns when trying to buy clothes, even when trying to get dressed. At a certain point I had to avoid looking in the mirror when I was getting ready because seeing my chest, even under clothes, just sent me spiraling. But it does get better. It gets easier. You’re not stupid, you were told transition would help you, you were told that transitioning was the right thing to do. Seriously, it’s not your fault. The medical professionals failed you. Big hugs, and remember that things will get easier <3
I think it’s important to allow yourself to grieve. It’s okay to be miserable over what has happened. It took me almost 2 years to stop having fits where I’d cry and just lay in bed all day and think about what I’d done. What was helpful for me was reframing my perspective - as much as I could, as I know some things can never be rationalized (such as top). I lost so many things - my voice, my breasts, my healthy body - but I also gained things that I did not have prior or during transition (ranging from joy in feminine activities to a good relationship w my family). Small things can make the biggest difference. Honestly, even with all that’s been done, right now is the most satisfied I’ve ever been with myself.
I’m glad you know it will get better with time, because it will. It most definitely gets better with time. You’re right - there is no going back. The only way to move is forward. Take your time to grieve; be upset, cry, hell, I even left terrible mean-spirited reviews on every “clinic” and “doctor” webpage involving those who had assisted in my transition. However, in that, know that this all-encompassing dread, regret, and grief will dissipate with time and you will heal, mentally and physically. I wish I could give you a hug, I know how absolutely devastating it is (having been there myself).
I have now been off of HRT for almost two years (next month will be 2 years) and I am miles away from where I was before. It still hurts when I think about it, but the pain has lessened. More than anything now, I’m angry with the providers who did this, I’m angry with the transgender activism that pushed this narrative, I’m angry. I find it helps to transform the anger into productive outputs. I try my best to help other detrans people feel better and more optimistic, however I can, and I now spend a lot of time fostering relationships with the people who are most important to me. I find happiness in the progress I have made - it’s so important to acknowledge progress, as it’s a hallmark and reminder of how far we’ve come, and how far we will continue to go. I’m sorry it’s hard. I hope the best for you <3 and I hope this was at least a little bit helpful
You are doing perhaps one of the most difficult things in support of detrans people which is running this sub / providing a safe space for us. Seeing the hate and vitriol people have for us must be unfathomably hard. Even though you cannot provide your voice as much as you would like in the public sphere (for perfectly good reasons), you still shield and protect us. This sub was a beacon of light during the darkest hours of my transition and it wouldn’t be the same without you. Thank you so much for the sacrifices you make for detrans people, thank you for the empathy you show, thank you for continuing to look out for us in the ways that you can. I genuinely hope things get easier and better for you and I’m sorry that you’re struggling. Sending love <3 for real
I’m trying to schedule expanders for this winter and I’m so nervous! I have a few questions if you don’t mind!
How long will you have the expanders? Did you go with OTM or UTM? How do the expanders feel? How was the surgery experience vs the top surgery experience? And are you going silicone or saline? Thank you so much!!!
I’m so happy for you & I hope that you heal quickly! ❤️
“I don’t wanna live like a woman, I don’t wanna be perceived like that. I love woman but I just can not be one of them”. It’s 100% natural that you feel that way, because you’re not a woman! You can’t be a woman - you’re a guy. It’s also natural for you to be having struggles with identity at this point in your life - everyone goes through that when experiencing puberty. Your feminine behaviors don’t make you a woman and you hit the nail right on the head - you’re just an effeminate guy! There’s nothing wrong with that. It doesn’t even mean you’re gay - I’ve dated effeminate guys before and one of my best friends in high school was an effeminate guy who never transitioned or dated men. He was just an effeminate guy, that’s all there was to it. Wishing you the best, everything will straighten out and make more sense as you get older!