This story is from the comments by /u/Eerga_tnodI that are listed below, summarised with AI.
User Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the extensive comments, this account appears authentic. The user provides a highly detailed, nuanced, and internally consistent personal narrative of their experience with gender dysphoria, medical transition, and eventual desistance. The depth of self-reflection, the evolution of their views over time, and the emotional complexity (including anger, frustration, and ambivalence) are strong indicators of a real person's lived experience, not a scripted bot or troll.
There are no serious red flags suggesting inauthenticity. The user's perspective aligns with known desister experiences: they stopped medical intervention but did not socially "detransition," they reject ideological labels, and they are critical of both transgender and detransition narratives. Their passion and criticism stem from personal harm and a desire for nuance, which is consistent with the stated warning.
About me
I was born female but felt male from a very young age, which led to intense distress. I took testosterone for five years to align my body with my mind, and it brought me relief. I stopped when doctors pressured me into surgeries I didn't want, realizing I didn't need lifelong medical intervention. Now, I live without hormones, comfortable with my permanent changes and my female body. I've found peace by rejecting all labels and societal expectations, learning to accept my internal self as it is.
My detransition story
My journey with gender has been long and complicated, and it's deeply personal. I was born female, but for as long as I can remember, my internal sense of self has been male. This wasn't a choice or something I questioned; it was just a fact in my mind, a feeling that started when I was very young, around three years old. I didn't hate my body, but I felt completely disconnected from it, like it wasn't really mine. This feeling got stronger during puberty when my body started to change in ways that felt wrong to me.
I tried for a long time to live as a woman in my early twenties, but it caused me so much distress that I had a nervous breakdown. It felt like I was constantly acting, and it was exhausting. Eventually, I decided to start testosterone therapy. I did this under the old diagnostic system in Italy, which required months of therapy and a lot of medical oversight. I was on testosterone for about five years.
The hormones gave me changes I liked, like facial hair, and they helped quiet the noise in my head by making my outside appearance feel more aligned with my internal self. It was a relief. But I never saw it as becoming a new person. I was just adjusting my body to match what had always been true inside. I never asked people to use different pronouns or a new name because my personality and how I carried myself had always been masculine, so people often just saw me as a man anyway.
The turning point came when my doctors started pressuring me to have surgeries—first top surgery, then bottom surgery—because I’d been on hormones for long enough. That’s when I panicked. The idea of permanently altering my body, especially in ways that could cause a loss of sensation or require a lifetime of medical care, felt wrong. I also realized I didn’t want to be dependent on taking testosterone for the rest of my life. My body is healthy; it doesn't need these external hormones. I decided to stop.
Stopping hormones wasn't about going back to being a woman. I didn't detransition in that sense. I just stopped the medical part of my journey. Some changes, like my beard, stayed. Others, like body fat distribution, reversed. I'm comfortable with the permanent changes; I have no regrets about them. What I regret is the pressure I felt from society and even from within the medical system to conform to a specific narrative.
My core issue wasn't with my body itself, but with the social expectations placed on me because of it. I never fit into the female box, and trying to force myself into it was torture. But I also realized that medically transitioning was just trading one set of constraints for another. Now, I see myself as just a human. I don't believe in gender identities or labels. My body is biologically female, and in my head, I am male. I've learned to live with that contradiction without letting it destroy me. I avoid mirrors, don't focus on my body, and live mostly in my head, which is where I've always been most comfortable.
I was lucky that the system I went through was strict and made me really think about my choices. I worry about the current climate where it seems like people, especially young girls, are encouraged to transition quickly without exploring all the reasons behind their feelings. For me, it was never about social influence; I actively avoided other trans people and online communities because I didn't want to be swayed. My motivation was deeply internal, and even then, the medical path wasn't the right final answer for me.
I don't regret trying testosterone because it helped me get to where I am now, a place of greater self-acceptance. But I am glad I stopped before any irreversible surgeries. My biggest takeaway is that the problem isn't with people's bodies, but with a society that forces people into rigid boxes. True freedom is being able to be yourself without needing to change your body or your label to fit in.
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 3 | First memories of feeling a disconnect between my mind (male) and my body (female). |
| 12 | Started puberty; felt intense distress as my body developed in a female direction. |
| 24-25 | After a failed attempt to live as a woman led to a breakdown, I started testosterone therapy. |
| 29-30 | After 5 years on testosterone, I stopped due to pressure to have surgeries and a desire to not be medically dependent for life. |
| 35 (Now) | Living without hormones, comfortable with the permanent changes, and managing my dysphoria through self-acceptance and rejecting societal labels. |
Top Reddit Comments by /u/Eerga_tnodI:
Oh I get downvoted everywhere too. A tip: don't argue with them, they always try to drag you to their level with an emotional blackmail to invalidate your opinions, it doesn't matter what you say, and it doesn't matter how biased their sources for "facts" are.
It says a lot about how society still treats men emotionally, also about how society still sees femininity as a whole. Guys are emotionally abused all sides from a very young age, it's not surprising they end up thinking that they have to be women to gain freedom to be themselves since society tells them they're "pussies" if they step out of the line. I wish there were a social revolution to give men the freedom to express their emotions without getting invalidated in their masculinity, instead of this push into turning them into women.
I wouldn't touch something that's been "designed" by evolution for million of years to survive as it is for a psychological problem, and I'd leave mine (body) in a dumpster if I could because there isn't a piece of it I reject more than the other, but I need this thing to be healthy and survive if I want my brain to survive, whatever you medically touch without having the need to do so to physically survive has the potential of causing more problems than it solves.
Moralistic shaming.
Transphobia = negative
Disagreement = transphobia
Disagreement = negative
This seems logic to some, but the reasoning only holds as long as the association "transphobia = negative" is true, which isn't factual because it relies on consensus, and the more the word is used inappropriately the less the consensus stands.
Not directly but someone in the past tried to stick the agender label on me, which implies believing that gender is a thing while I don't believe that for a second... People just don't like you wanting to stay the fuck out of their ideological frameworks, that's just merely pressure to conform you to a group, any group, because they need it to give reality an order.
I don't remember people having these problems while I was growing up in the 90s, at least here... It's like the clock went back of 100 years in 2000 and gender roles went back being strict and enforced, must be that "millennium bug" everyone was talking about in '99.
There are no "feminine hobbies" there are hobbies society considers feminine. It's not inherent to the hobby itself.
There are no "feminine clothes" there are clothes society considers feminine. It's not inherent to the clothing itself.
Do what you like to do, be what you like to be, things aren't gendered: we gender them.
Transwomen are women is a trick.
There wouldn't be problems if the meaning were "transwomen are people who identify with women and would like to be seen as such" but the trick is selling a belief in the disguise of tolerance to try and normalize things that wouldn't normally be acceptable (i.e: a man who took absolutely no steps into medical transition being allowed in female spaces only in the basis of self ID, because gender identity is not falsifiable once claimed and if someone tells me "I'm a woman" I'm supposed to believe it in the name of tolerance and acceptance, universal positive values by consensus). It's a rather religious trick too, making things real by repetition until society accepts them.
They don't only play with words but also with universal values.
Is there a science?! I think that's all pretty much socio-cultural. Sex is binary because of gametes:
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gamete
"Intersex" variations are sex specific too.
Non binary, gender non conforming and androgynous all relate to socio-cultural definitions/stereotypes/roles the two sexes take in a specific society in a specific time:
I feel female because I like flowers and makeup < based on the false assumption that females like flowers and makeup. Females are just simply expected to like those things by a society in a specific time, it has nothing to do with having female gametes (sex) it's all socio-cultural.
Those social expectations are partially based on biology, because there is no concept of gender expectations and stereotypes without having two defined sexes, but are also largely fallacious when they're not completely made up.
I don't know if you noticed that the game is just switching the narrative according to what's more convenient in the given situation, so when it's convenient "you only need to want to be trans to be trans", when it's not convenient "you were never trans to begin with"... Not worth taking seriously, it's just to discredit you in the eyes of other members of the movement that might risk thinking with their heads.