This story is from the comments by /u/Electronic_Ad7103 that are listed below, summarised with AI.
User Authenticity Assessment: Suspicious Account
Based on the comments, there are serious red flags suggesting this account is not a detransitioner or desister and is potentially inauthentic.
The primary red flag is the user's consistent self-identification. They repeatedly state they are a "man," a "cis man," or "born a man" and mention having a trans male partner. Their commentary is entirely from the perspective of an outside observer critiquing the trans and detrans communities, not from someone with personal experience of transitioning or desisting.
While they express supportive opinions common in the sub, their role is that of a commentator or ally, not someone sharing a lived detrans experience. The account appears to be using the space to debate gender ideology rather than to seek or offer support based on personal detransition.
About me
I’m a man who entered online trans spaces to support my partner, a trans man. I was quickly attacked and banned for asking questions or suggesting people slow down and think about permanent decisions. I noticed many people seemed to be struggling with self-love or being gay, not being trans, and were rushed into medical changes. It breaks my heart to see the permanent damage and regret this causes, especially in young people. I believe we need to care enough to tell the loving truth, not just blindly affirm.
My detransition story
My journey isn't a typical transition and detransition story because I never medically transitioned myself. I’m a man, born male, and I’ve always been comfortable with that. My experience comes from being on the outside, watching and trying to understand, especially because my partner is a trans man. I love him very much, and wanting to support him led me into online trans spaces. What I found there really changed my perspective on the whole thing.
I went into these forums to learn, but when I asked simple questions or tried to have a real conversation, I was often attacked. I was called transphobic and dogpiled just for suggesting that maybe someone should slow down and think about such a permanent decision. It felt like a lot of people in those spaces had made "being trans" their entire personality and couldn't handle any opinion that wasn't 100% affirming. They seemed to value validation over truth. I was even banned from a couple of subreddits for stating basic facts, like a male who transitions will never experience a period because they can't grow a womb. It’s not hateful to state that biological reality; it's just the truth.
Through talking to many people, both online and in person, I started to see some common patterns. I noticed that a lot of the discomfort seemed to stem from a lack of self-love and an inability to just be yourself without a label. I’ve talked to people who I believe were just gay or lesbian, or maybe just tomboys or androgynous, but felt pressured to adopt a trans identity. I think if people were encouraged to love and work on themselves first, a lot of this wouldn't be happening. Of course, I believe true trans people exist, but I think the movement now catches up a lot of people who are just struggling with other issues like trauma, low self-esteem, or the normal discomfort of puberty.
A big thing for me is the age factor. I always tell people, especially younger ones, to wait. Your brain isn't even fully developed until you're about 25. I remember being 18 and thinking I knew everything, but I really didn't. I’m so thankful that when I was growing up, this kind of social pressure wasn't as intense. I’ve seen so many people rush into hormones and surgeries, only to realize years later it was a mistake, and by then, the damage is permanent. It breaks my heart. I’ve spoken to someone beautiful, inside and out, who had a lot of surgeries and now feels ugly and full of regret. It’s devastating.
I don't support true transphobia, which to me means actually hating trans people and wanting to harm them. But nowadays, you're called transphobic for just disagreeing or for caring enough to say, "Hey, are you sure? Let's talk about this." It feels like we’ve become a society that values feelings over truth. We just affirm everyone without ever challenging them to look inward. Real friends and family are supposed to love you enough to tell you the truth with love and concern, not just blindly support every decision.
My own view on gender is simple. I’m a man. I wasn't a "cis man," I'm just a man. I believe at our core, men are men and women are women, and there are differences that matter. That doesn't make anyone less valuable. My partner is a man, and he has a female body. So what? We don't need to bullshit ourselves. You can use whatever pronouns make you comfortable and present yourself however you want without pretending you can change your biological sex.
I don't have regrets about transitioning because I didn't transition. But I do have a lot of sadness about what I see happening to others. I regret that so many people are being led down a path that might not be right for them, and that anyone who tries to ask questions is silenced. My hope is that more people can find the peace that comes from self-acceptance, without feeling like they need to change their bodies to fit in or be loved.
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| N/A | I did not have a personal transition or detransition timeline. My journey was one of observation and supporting my partner. |
| Various Ages (from comments) | Engaged in online forums, had conversations with individuals considering transition or dealing with its aftermath, and offered support and alternative perspectives. |
Top Reddit Comments by /u/Electronic_Ad7103:
You hit the nail on the head this is the right take but many don't want to hear it. As a man born a man. I have no right to speak on periods even if I transition to be a woman I wouldn't experience a period. I would not bleed I can say oh I have cramps and bloating blah blah. Reality is I would be full of shit because no about of estrogen will make me grown a womb or reproductive organs of a woman. It is highly offensive to woman but most don't care and I notice most of this cosplay crap is mtf trans men don't actively act like they experienced passing a kidney stoney threw their penis... Or some shit like bro wtf is going on.. It's okay to respect ppls gender and expression without lying to yourself and others. At our core men are men women are women and their are differences. And those differences matter doesn't mean any one is any less.. I have a trans man for a partner. He is my bf. He has a pussy so what.. Like why is it that hard to understand for ppl.. Use what ever pronouns you want and make you comfortable.. Just quit bullshitting yourself and others ya know.
To answer you question it's because the hive mind of ppl in society have decided that cis which is a word I hate I am not a cis man... I just a man. But whatever anyways we have become a society that values lies and feelings and emotions over the truth and helping ppl overcome their trauma and assault and other things we just affirm people now.. And eveyeone gets participation awards for life and praise. Then we sit on social media seeking validation.. And validation is the keyword. There is no validation for being your true self and just accepting and loving yourself. Just my opinions.
This is beautiful and well worth the read. Good and bad. It's your story and makes up the person you are and yes you are right. Sadly many don't want to have this discussion and that is the issue. Also many more can't even process and accept the truth you shared here. And that it's okay to admit it and grow.. And that many of us just don't want to see Ppl hurt themselves and or others. I applaud you for sharing this. Please continue.. Reality is the truth needs to be heard and shared. And whoever doesn't want to be your friend never really was God bless you ✊🏿💪🏿
This is ridiculous.. So sick of the lack of intelligence. The hypocritical bs just blows my mind. 🤷🏿♂️ There is nothing wrong with being Called woman or female even. While female is looked down upon it matters how it's used and directed at you ya know. But this is legit insanity whoever this person who said this smh
Idk for me.. I don't support true transphobia. Piece of shit ppl are piece of shit ppl. I just think ppl are actively running from the truth. I understand that a lot of ppl suffer from gender dysphoria and body dysmorphia. However there is a big difference between ppl who have that and choose to transition to alleviate that. Verse ppl just being told and telling themselves they can change genders and can gender bend and all this stuff like no. You can't but you can't lie to yourself to make yourself believe that sure.. It's very dangerous a lot I'm seeing. And sad cause ppl are doing permanent damage that can't be undone to their body's without fully understanding that fact.
That said tho I agree 190% with what you said not just about JK but in general. She was and has been just protecting women's spaces and is unapologetically doing so.. And it seems these days if you don't automatically agree with these ppls views no matter how askew and delusional it is.. Your labels transphobic and ableist and all these words shit is depressing now outlandish this has become when I legit just care about ppl not fucking up their life days they swear they know what they're doing.
You are 100% correct. You have and had valid feelings and have decided what you did. Clearly he isn't respecting your decision and while saying oh I'm not gonna challenge you on retransitioning.. Does just that twice.. Smh I'm sorry that he couldn't do his job and listen to yih reasoning and respect that.
Well first of all. I'm so sorry you are dealing with this. No you aren't wrong for how you feel ppl should have protected you. But now it's better to focus on what you can do to better your life now.. And circumstances. And maybe find a way to convey you reality cause ppl need to hear it and that it isn't a run off one story situation this is happening to a lot of ppl and it needs to be spoken about. But you're still very much alive. And that is the big thing. If you ever need to talk or vent feel free my dms are open have a good day and I hope you feel better and find some Comfort in what I've said and your future is still bright.
Sadly they know they don't care because they make millions I'd nor billions off the suffering and confusion. Similar to those who smoke cigarettes. It's unfortunate but reality is no one is protecting young kids from this and other things and if you speak up then all these labels and vitriol and hatred is spewed. So most ppl are too afraid of speaking up.
My 2cents.. You're 15 give yourself time to grow to who you are. You have a partner who you say loves you for you that's wonderful not too many can say that at that age let alone period. That being said. No one can change their gender as you said. You are a woman. Now you can change your appearance and live your life in the aspects men do if you want based off what you have said in the comments I think you're a tomboy and androgynous. Which is most ppl these days nothing wrong with that. I think addressing yourself and what issues you see with being a woman would be a start and then go from there.. 🤷🏿♂️
Cis man so don't that you will care for my opinion but off what I read sounds like you're just a tomboy at least that is what it was when I was growing up. And I honestly wish ppl would just let themselves be them and quit pandering to the labels other attach. A woman can wear a tux or suit and still be femme or masc. Those terms don't represent the man or woman per say more so they represent how you style and present yourself ya know.. No more then if I painted my nails and did make up.. I would still be masculine.. But society would say I'm not. Labels of disrespect would be attached and I honestly could give a fuck less I would still be me.. But others I know struggle with that acceptance of th themselves and it took me many moons 40 years to be this comfortable and it changes day to day. I say all this to say don't give up and don't be so hard on yourself. Love yourself fuck a label. Seek happiness within and the rest you can work on feel me? ✊🏿💪🏿👑 You got this shit 💯🙏🏾