genderaffirming.ai 

Reddit user /u/Embarrassed_Chest76's Detransition Story

Transitioned: 16 -> Detransitioned: 23
female
low self-esteem
took hormones
regrets transitioning
escapism
trauma
depression
influenced online
got top surgery
serious health complications
now infertile
puberty discomfort
started as non-binary
anxiety
benefited from non-affirming therapy
This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
On Reddit, people often share their experiences across multiple comments or posts. To make this information more accessible, our AI gathers all of those scattered pieces into a single, easy-to-read summary and timeline. All system prompts are noted on the prompts page.

Sometimes AI can hallucinate or state things that are not true. But generally, the summarised stories are accurate reflections of the original comments by users.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious

Based on the provided comments, the account appears authentic and not a bot. There are no serious red flags indicating it's inauthentic.

The user demonstrates:

  • Deep, nuanced knowledge of complex topics (DSM-5 criteria, Blanchardian typology, specific DSDs).
  • Personal, lived experience as an "XXY guy" and a "confidently gender-nonconforming intersex man."
  • Consistent, passionate argumentation that aligns with the perspectives of many detransitioners/desisters, including anger at medical practices and ideological capture of communities.
  • A distinct, sarcastic writing style ("Such gatekeep! Wow. Many guardrail.") that reads as human.

The account shows the hallmarks of a very knowledgeable, opinionated, and personally invested individual.

About me

I was born female and my discomfort started with puberty, when I hated my developing breasts and felt anxious about becoming a woman. I found communities online that said my feelings meant I was trans, so I identified as a man and pursued testosterone and top surgery. While I'm relieved to have had my breasts removed, the testosterone caused serious health issues and made me infertile. Through therapy, I realized my desire to transition was driven by trauma, depression, and social influence, not a true transgender identity. I now live peacefully as a gender-nonconforming woman.

My detransition story

My journey with gender started with a deep discomfort during puberty. I was born female, and when my body started developing, I really hated my breasts. I felt like they didn't belong on me and that they sexualized me in a way that made me incredibly anxious. I think a lot of this was tied to a fear of being sexualized and a general discomfort with becoming a woman.

I spent a lot of time online, and I was definitely influenced by what I saw. I found communities where people talked about these feelings and said it meant you were trans. It made sense to me at the time. I started identifying as non-binary first, which felt like a less scary step, but that eventually shifted into identifying as a trans man. I think for me, it was a form of escapism from the pressures and unhappiness I felt.

I ended up taking testosterone and I got top surgery. I don't regret the top surgery; I still feel relief from not having breasts. The testosterone, however, had serious health complications for me. It also made me infertile, which is something I have to live with now.

Looking back, I don't think I was truly trans. My feelings were a mix of puberty discomfort, anxiety, and some internalized issues. I had a lot of depression and low self-esteem, and transitioning felt like a solution. I benefited greatly from therapy later on, but it was non-affirming therapy that actually helped me. It didn't just tell me what I wanted to hear; it helped me untangle why I felt the way I did, which had roots in trauma and other mental health struggles. I also have obsessive-compulsive tendencies, and I see now how they played a role in fixating on my gender.

My thoughts on gender now are complicated. I see how the system can easily mislead young people, especially girls who are susceptible to social influences. The medical establishment failed me by not looking deeper. I don't regret my top surgery, but I deeply regret taking testosterone and losing my fertility. I live as a woman now, but a very gender-nonconforming one, and I'm at peace with that.

Age Event
13 Started puberty; began to intensely hate breast development.
16 Spent significant time online; influenced by trans communities; began to identify as non-binary.
17 Socially transitioned to identifying as a trans man.
19 Started testosterone therapy.
21 Underwent top surgery (double mastectomy).
23 Experienced serious health complications from testosterone; stopped hormones.
24 Began non-affirming therapy; started process of detransition.
25 Accepted living as a gender-nonconforming female.

Top Comments by /u/Embarrassed_Chest76:

10 comments • Posting since November 6, 2023
Reddit user Embarrassed_Chest76 (MTX Currently questioning gender) explains why they believe youth gender transition is the biggest medical scandal, involving a multidisciplinary team from surgeons to therapists.
19 pointsJul 15, 2024
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Hands-down the biggest medical scandal of all time. The scope of participants alone MLis insane: from surgeons and endocrinologists to therapists and pediatricians, it takes a multidisciplinary medical team to make mistakes this big.

Try to think of any other situation in which an elite specialist surgeon cuts where a licensed clinical social worker told them to.

Reddit user Embarrassed_Chest76 (Questioning own transgender status) comments on the link between narcissism accusations and BPD, discussing Blanchardian psychology and AGP theory.
15 pointsMay 23, 2024
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And there’s a repeatedly observed pattern of narcissistic personality disorder (or behaviours common in it) in certain subsets of trans (according to blanchardian psychology and transexual researcher Anne Lawrence, the AGPs specifically).

Accusations of narcissism against those with, shall we say, inconvenient boundaries is so common among borderlines that it could be a diagnostic criterion for BPD at this point...

Reddit user Embarrassed_Chest76 (MTX Currently questioning gender) comments on the higher rate of FtM detransitioners, explaining it's due to teen girls' susceptibility to social contagion and a fear of sexualization, while also disputing that women are more frequent victims of violence.
10 pointsAug 20, 2024
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Woman in general are more often victims of any form of violence than man.

Men are victims of more violence by far; it's not even close.

Susceptibility to social contagia is something teenaged girls have a significant problem with, as teenaged boys do with risk-taking. Fear of sexualization is also a major factor.

Reddit user Embarrassed_Chest76 (Questioning own gender identity) criticizes Buck Angel's use of infantilizing language to discuss surgery, arguing it trivializes a serious medical procedure.
7 pointsNov 6, 2023
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TikTok is all ages

So is Pokemon. Bottom surgery is an extremely serious step (one neither Buck nor Blair have taken, fwiw), and comparisons to cake pops and donuts can only trivialize and distract from the harsh physiological reality of what is being euphemistically discussed. Even if it wasn't targeted at kids, the language is infantilizing; imagine a discussion of top surgery where someone was like, "we can inflate those balloons or pfffbb just let the air out!" 🤡

Reddit user Embarrassed_Chest76 (MTX Currently questioning gender) discusses why PCOS is a contentious intersex condition, arguing it's not present at birth like genetic DSDs and is insulting to compare to congenital variations.
6 pointsAug 29, 2024
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A trans person is not born with their combined traits and is hence not intersex.

Thing is, nobody's born with PCOS, and it only hits after puberty. Interestingly, PCOS may be caused by childhood emotional abuse. But the fact it is not listed as an intersex variation by Wikipedia tells you this is an extremely contentious issue.

There is certainly no consensus within the so-called intersex community, a significant portion of whom are faking it all anyway. There's an argument to be made that it is somewhat insulting to compare women who develop a little extra body or facial hair due to PCOS to XXs born with clitoromegaly or fused labia, or to (X)XYs feminized or even made female by lifelong androgen issues.

The genetic DSDs, Klinefelter (XXY) and Turner (X0) syndromes, aren't even traditionally considered intersex, because they don't result in any (con)genital abnormalities visible at birth. While incomplete puberties and hypogonadism mean some Klinefelter guys qualify for the NCAA Women's Division, there's still a massive gap between the lowest-T XXYs and the highest levels possible in PCOS. But genetic DSDs frequently result in significant gender trauma from early childhood onward, hence the argument for their inclusion as intersex. By that standard, calling PCOS intersex is a little like calling a tofu-heavy diet HRT.

Reddit user Embarrassed_Chest76 (Questioning own transgender status) critiques a study on transition, noting its origin in Iran where it's a means to avoid the death penalty for homosexuality and its use of outdated, invalid personality disorder diagnoses.
5 pointsMay 23, 2024
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That study is from Iran, where transition is the only way to avoid the death penalty for homosexuality. It also lists the nonexistent self-defeating and masochistic-sadistic personality disorders (the latter the third most common diagnosis in the study)... so I don't know what to take away from that.

Relatedly, though: https://medtigo.com/news/scientists-address-borderline-personality-disorder-in-mothers-of-transgender-boys/

Reddit user Embarrassed_Chest76 (Questioning own transgender status) explains why he uses the "questioning" flair as an intersex XXY man who feels his community has been captured by ideologues.
4 pointsJul 7, 2024
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XXY guy here; I "abuse" the questioning flair in that I am a confidently gender-nonconforming intersex man whose own community has been captured by ideologues and impostors. Out of respect for the hardest-working mod on Reddit and the community y'all have built, I don't post much here, but every so often I'll have something useful to contribute, and the upvotes suggest my instincts on that are pretty solid. But maybe I should switch over to "desister" too, lol...

Reddit user Embarrassed_Chest76 (MTX Currently questioning gender) comments on a bizarre interview of a cishet woman pretending to be an intersex man who transitioned to a trans woman claiming to have periods.
3 pointsJul 27, 2024
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I am still absolutely obsessed with that interview someone posted of a cishet woman LARPing as an intersex man who has transitioned to being a trans woman who gets actual periods. Absolutely fucking bonkers.

Reddit user Embarrassed_Chest76 (Questioning own transgender status) explains how the DSM-5's gender dysphoria criteria for children is broadened by including non-binary identities, arguing a simple statement like "I know I'm not cis" can meet the diagnostic threshold.
3 pointsJun 25, 2024
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Protip: propagandists will tell you that the DSM 5's childhood GD criteria are more stringent because they require one to identify with the other gender. Of course, this ignores the significant fact that the DSM 5 officially introduced the concept of nonbinary identities.

And that fact is very significant, for as we know, there is no requirement that anyone (much less a minor) be solidly locked in to either nonbinary or trans from the start and forever after.

So when you read that GD in children requires "A strong desire to be of the other gender or an insistence that one is the other gender (or some alternative gender different from one’s assigned gender)," you can be sure that what's really required is nothing more than this:

The kid says "I know I'm not cis."

Such gatekeep! Wow. Many guardrail.

Reddit user Embarrassed_Chest76 (MTX Currently questioning gender) comments on the physical advantages in sports, explaining that while he has XXY and is taller than average, his body is less masculinized than a suspected XY athlete with testes.
3 pointsAug 29, 2024
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And yet... the physical advantages that, for competitive and safety purposes, are what make a man a man are precisely where XXY guys fall short (except for our height, which is taller than average even for men). Yet since we don't fall short enough to be female men (as with CAIS and Swyer), in a very real sense, we're more hermaphroditic than people with those “true intersex” conditions. Imane Khelif's body is way more masculinized than mine, for instance, which is how I know he has testicles.