This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, this account appears to be authentic.
There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or an inauthentic user. The comments display:
- Personal, detailed anecdotes about university life, detransition, and medical history.
- Complex, nuanced opinions on transition that show internal conflict and deep personal reflection, not just scripted talking points.
- Consistent emotional tone focused on personal struggle, regret, and a desire for self-acceptance.
- Direct engagement with the community's common experiences, offering empathetic advice from a first-person perspective.
The user's passion and criticism of transition ideology align with the expected perspectives found in that community.
About me
I was born female and my journey started because I never felt I fit in with other girls. I transitioned medically, believing it was my only hope, but it only made my insecurities and unhappiness much worse. I now realize my discomfort came from not fitting into sexist stereotypes, not from being the wrong sex. I regret the permanent changes from testosterone and wish I had learned to accept myself instead of trying to change my body. I am now detransitioning and learning to be comfortable as the woman I am.
My detransition story
My whole journey with transition and detransition was messy and painful, and it all really started with just not fitting in. I was born female, and from a young age, I never felt like I matched up with the other girls. I saw them getting into makeup and dating and all that, and it just felt completely foreign to me. I felt like I was missing out on some fundamental human experience, and that made me really jealous and depressed.
When I got to university, that feeling got even worse. I was surrounded by people having the classic college experience—partying, hooking up—and I felt like an alien. I couldn't participate, and I didn't know how. I think a lot of my discomfort was tied to low self-esteem and anxiety. I hated the idea of being judged for not being a stereotypical woman. I felt like I was failing at being a girl.
That discomfort with my female body and the expectations placed on me is what led me to transition. I became convinced that medically transitioning was my only hope. I believed it was a life-or-death situation for my mental health. I socially transitioned for two years and was on testosterone for about six months.
But transitioning didn't help. It actually made everything worse. It amplified all my insecurities about my body a hundred times over. I was constantly afraid of being "clocked" or judged in public. I spent those two and a half years miserable, just wallowing in dysphoria. I now realize that having gender dysphoria doesn't necessarily mean you are trans. Most detransitioners had dysphoria and are actually cisgender. The dysphoria is a sign that something is wrong, but the answer isn't always to change your body.
Looking back, I think the underlying reason I felt so wrong as a woman was a mix of things: not fitting in, internalized ideas about what a woman should be, and a deep-seated discomfort with the gender roles society forced on me. I was trying to escape myself. I wish I had tried to work through that discomfort instead of trying to change my body. If I had accepted myself back then, I would have spared myself a lot of pain.
I don't regret transitioning in the sense that I learned a lot from the experience, but I do regret the permanent effects I now have to live with from taking testosterone. My thoughts on gender now are that it's largely built on sexist stereotypes that are ingrained in our culture. I think the goal should be to demedicalize being trans. People shouldn't feel like they need to change their bodies to be happy or to escape the boxes society puts them in.
I’ve come to believe that detransitioning, for me, was about accepting that people will sometimes see an inaccurate version of me, and becoming secure enough in my own sense of self that their opinions don't matter anymore. It's about learning to exist in whatever way I feel most comfortable, in the body I was born with.
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 18-20 | Socially transitioned for 2 years. |
| 20 | Started testosterone. |
| 20 | Stopped testosterone after 6 months and began to detransition. |
Top Comments by /u/Enough-Process-2373:
having gender dysphoria does not necessarily mean you are trans. most detransitioners had/have dysphoria and are cisgender anyway. having dysphoria just means you are uncomfortable with the sex and gender roles assigned to you, which can be attributed to a variety of different causes. there is an underlying reason why being a woman feels wrong to you. try to find that reason
i understand, but i don’t think it’s that simple. lots of kids deeply believe that medically transitioning is their only hope and their mental health pretty much hinges on it. i was one of those kids. i believe that transition has indeed saved lives, and completely banning it could be disastrous.
that being said, i’m not actually in support of transition as a treatment for gender dysphoria. in my ideal world no one would have to change their bodies to be happy. i just think the issue lies in WHY people feel that they need to transition rather than the act of transition itself. why and how do kids become convinced that they can’t keep living unless they are able to transition? we need to tackle the root of the problem instead of putting a band-aid over it by banning transition.
my opinion is that yes, kids SHOULDN’T be transitioning, but until we “solve” gender dysphoria, they might have to.
if you dont want to change yourself, which is obviously 100% okay, then you will inevitably face misgendering. which is something that you are going to have to accept. my advice: examine the distress that is caused by people misgendering you. it’s completely valid, but still ask yourself some questions. why does it bother you? why do you care? does it really matter that other people think of you a certain way?
you can’t control the way people perceive you unless you drastically alter the way you present yourself. transitioning is attempting to do exactly that. detransitioning, in my eyes, is accepting the different and sometimes inaccurate versions of yourself that people may see. and becoming secure enough in your internal sense of self that their opinions don’t matter anymore.
wishing you luck! i struggle with this too but i try to remind myself that it’s okay for me to exist in whatever way i feel most comfortable
i had basically the same experience as you with femininity growing up and i tried transitioning. i was socially transitioned for 2 yrs and medically for 6 months. i spent those 2 and 1/2 yrs miserable, wallowing in dysphoria. transitioning made my insecurities abt my female body 100x worse and i was afraid to do anything in public because i didn’t want ppl to clock me or judge me. i’ve since detransitioned but i still have the permanent effects of testosterone to deal with.
i think if i had accepted myself in the body i have 2 and 1/2 yrs ago, and tried to work through the discomfort i was feeling around my gender, i would have spared myself a lot of pain.
you might not necessarily have the same experience, but lots of other ppl on this sub have gone through something similar.
i feel like the existence of a “standard” and exceptions to that standard implies the existence of gender as a separate concept from sex. like yes most females are predisposed to a nurturing role but there is also a whole array of different roles they are expected to take and beliefs that women are supposed to act a certain way. many of those norms are not innate or natural, but based on those nurturing instincts and imposed on a person by society. i think that the culmination of all those roles and beliefs and norms is what we call gender. it is built on sexist stereotypes but those stereotypes are ingrained in our culture and many of us subscribe to them without even realizing.
i literally agree with you lol. i’m saying that the focus should be on solving the issue of society telling people they need to transition. yes, in a world free from “transgenderism”, people wouldn’t think they have to transition.
but we live in a world where this concept is already circulating through much of society and the damage has been done. people who identify as trans aren’t going to stop existing. which is why i think instead of trying to eradicate transgenderism, it would be more productive to try to demedicalize being trans. people, including kids, would probably still identify as trans, but it wouldn’t come with the consequence of them wanting to mess with their bodies.
but we haven’t reached that point. the current reality is that kids, being told by society that transition is life or death, will be devastated by the inability to choose to transition. some might try to take their lives. yes, transition isn’t a GOOD solution, but in this day and age, some may perceive it as the ONLY solution.
demonizing the whole concept of being transgender does nothing good. it already exists and will continue to pervade, so i think the best option is to turn it into something healthier.
this is true! i understand that but i guess it’s just hard for me to let go of a belief and community that i found comfort in for so long. actually, it’s kind of strange that i wanted to change my body so drastically; i’m pretty opposed to cosmetic surgeries in general and i think people should try to accept themselves as they are despite beauty standards…seems like i don’t really practice what i preach lol!
thank you! yeah, not fitting in really does suck. i’m finding that being in university is making my differences seem even more drastic despite everyone saying it’d be the opposite. i see the people around me having the classic college experience, partying and hooking up and shit, and it feels so foreign to me. i’m so jealous of them and i feel like i’m missing out on so much but i don’t know if it’s even possible for me to participate :(
and yeah, i think i will do that! it’ll probs be hard for me to get over the fear of being judged for not being the sexist stereotype of a woman. i’ll get through it though!
i’m sorry that you went through this too! i’ve heavily contemplated dropping out or taking a year off but i don’t want to have to live at home with my parents. next year is going to be really tough though; i honestly don’t think i’ve learned anything from all the courses i’ve taken and now i’m missing a bunch of foundational knowledge for the subject i’m majoring in. sucks that i had so many personal issues to figure out during such an important time in my academic career but i guess it is just first year.
thank you for the kind words and i hope everything goes well for you as well :)