This story is from the comments by /u/Equivalent-Cow-6122 that are listed below, summarised with AI.
User Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, there are no serious red flags indicating this account is inauthentic, a bot, or not a real detransitioner/desister.
The comments display a consistent, nuanced, and personal viewpoint over a long period (nearly a year). The user shares detailed personal experiences (e.g., "I fell to this trap too as a woman," "for me focusing on people around me helped"), offers practical advice, and engages in complex discussions about internalized misogyny, trauma, and the process of detransition/desistance. The tone is passionate and often critical of gender ideology, which aligns with the stated potential for strong feelings on the topic. The language is natural, with variations in sentence structure and occasional conversational asides, which is not typical of bot-generated content.
While the views are strong, they appear to be the genuine expressions of an individual who has deeply considered these issues, likely from a desister perspective.
About me
I was born female and my discomfort started with puberty, as I hated the changes in my body and felt I didn't fit in. I was influenced by online communities that convinced me becoming a man was the solution to my low self-esteem and unhappiness. I now see my dysphoria was a symptom of deeper issues like trauma, not a need to be male. Stepping away from those toxic spaces and focusing on my mental health allowed me to accept that I am, and always will be, a woman. I am finally happy and healthy, living authentically without trying to change my body.
My detransition story
My journey with gender started when I was very young, though I didn't realize it at the time. I was born female and for a long time, I was just a normal, feminine girl. But as I got older, especially during puberty, I started to feel a deep discomfort with my body and my place in the world. I hated the changes puberty brought, especially the development of my breasts. I felt like my body was betraying me, and I didn't feel like I fit in with the other girls.
A lot of my struggle came from having very low self-esteem. I didn't like who I was and I desperately wanted to be someone else. Because of internalized misogyny—though I didn't have that word for it then—I thought the person I should be was a man. I thought that if I were male, my life would be better and I would finally be happy. I spent a lot of time online in communities that reinforced these ideas, and I was heavily influenced by what I saw on social media. It felt like the only way to be special or interesting was to be something other than a woman.
I started to identify as non-binary first, and then later as a transgender man. It felt like an escape from the person I was. I thought transition was the only solution to my gender dysphoria. I now believe my dysphoria was a symptom of much deeper issues: trauma, being neurodivergent, and that deep-seated low self-worth. I had a lot of anxiety and depression, and I was looking for any way out of those feelings.
I never went as far as taking hormones or having surgery. I was very close to seeking out top surgery because I hated my breasts so much. I saw them as this symbol of everything I didn't want to be. But something held me back. I started to realize that my desire to transition was rooted in a desire to escape being female, not in a genuine need to become male. I began to understand that you can't change your sex. I was, and always will be, a woman. That’s just a biological fact.
What really helped me was stepping away from online trans communities and LGBT spaces. I found them to be toxic echo chambers that encouraged delusional thinking. They operated like a cult, pulling people in and making it hard to think critically. I started focusing on my mental health and working on my underlying issues instead of trying to change my body. I reconnected with my family and old friends, and I found new friends outside of that bubble. I also reconnected with my religious background, which gave me a sense of peace and a framework for understanding my mistakes and finding forgiveness.
I benefited greatly from non-affirming therapy—therapy that didn't just affirm my trans identity but encouraged me to explore the root causes of my distress. I learned that my gender dysphoria was linked to my internalized misogyny and my discomfort with the stereotypes and expectations placed on women. I realized that being a woman doesn't have to be limiting. It's just one part of who I am, and I can be a woman and still be masculine, or feminine, or anything in between.
I don't regret exploring my gender because it led me to where I am now, but I deeply regret ever buying into the ideology that I could change my sex. I believe transgender ideology is harmful and preys on vulnerable people, especially young girls with low self-esteem and trauma. It offers a false solution that creates more problems than it solves. I am now much happier and healthier having accepted my body and my sex. I focus on being the best version of myself, not on trying to live up to unrealistic standards set by social media.
My sexuality also shifted during this time. I considered myself bisexual, but my understanding of it has changed. I now see that my attractions were also confused by all of this. I'm just trying to live an authentic life now, without labels that box me in.
Here is a timeline of my journey:
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 12 | Started puberty; began feeling intense discomfort with my body, hated breast development. |
| 15 | Spent increasing time online; discovered trans communities and began identifying as non-binary. |
| 17 | Socially transitioned to identifying as a transgender man; low self-esteem and depression were severe. |
| 19 | Seriously considered taking testosterone and getting top surgery. |
| 20 | Began to question my trans identity; started distancing myself from online trans spaces. |
| 21 | Stopped identifying as trans; began therapy focused on underlying trauma and self-esteem. |
| 22 | Fully accepted myself as a woman; focused on mental health and reconnecting with family and faith. |
| Present (23) | Living as a woman; happy and healthy, working on self-acceptance and helping others. |
Top Reddit Comments by /u/Equivalent-Cow-6122:
You actually had accepting parents, really accepting parents who accepted you for who you are even when you didn't t accept yourself at the time, that's a treasure.
Those liberal, accepting parents who you are talking about, are actually the most closed minded people who got brainwashed. I still believe they want good for their children, they just got misleaded and got to closeminded to accept facts. While they are responsible as parents I blame mostly activists, media, and doctors are those one the ones who intentionally mislead parents and children for their own goals.
While I believe transition should not be available for anyone, it should definitely not be a proposed to children!
The answer is very easy when you distance yourself from the trans ideology logic.
" maybe i can be masculine and still be a girl"
- yes you can, you can do it by simply doing things considered masculine and expressing yourself in a way that is considered masculine. Plenty of woman around the world are like that. Please note though that you still will be minority among other woman, which has its hardships. It's up to you if those benefits of expressing yourself this way are overcoming those hardships.
"how am i supposed to know if im a man"
- you can't be. If you are born a biological woman, you just can't be a man.
This is the biggest issue I have with modern view on trans. The second one is being nonbinary and third one is "being born in the wrong body".
It's so hard to explain people what trans is, when they believe such bs. If think people would understand transness better and maybe it would be dealt with better, if people got rid off those concepts about trans people.
I disagree the ones who believed the trans ideology wholeheartedly def live in illusion. But not all trans people are like that.
There are transitioners who are fully aware of their biology and sex, aware of the consequences and still transition believing it still has some benefits for them. They might be still wrong but I would not say they are living in delustion.
Unpopular opinion, but trans people who are taking hormones should be banned from professional sports period.
Somehow the regulations in sport comptetitions are so strict regarding substances inserted, but when it comes to hormones why they would be suddenly fine with that ?
I have nothing against trans people doing sport as a hobby obviously.
Yeah let them have "pro transition detrans sub" if that makes any sense to them, I'm in for freedom to create any sub someone likes, as long as its not promoting hurtful ideas (which onestly im not so sure if they really dont do it, i think any pro trans sub promotes hurtful ideas to an extent, but i never lurkedbthe sub enough to have any valid confirmation), calling it "actual_detrans" is reach, and actually misleading.
Yep the shift is really though all metaphors are equally terrible and make people who struggle to understand trans even harder.
Instead of explaining, ie. "I am a woman who looks, act, wants to be treated and function in society like a man due to my psyche", they go with those methophores that are factually incorrect and make people even more confused.
Just as you can't be "woman iside in a man bode", "she needs to express herself in makeup" makes same 0 sense.
There is no specific true trans or rogd, or maybe more like the forst one is rogd for hsts gay people and second for agps.
I would say the same reason woman are victims of other forms of abuse more than man.
Woman in general are more often victims of any form of violence than man. Woman who are detrans are victims of undergoing harmful and regretted transition, which is a form of abuse and violence (by psychologist, doctors, trans activists, people who claims to be friends).
So what made me think I was "trans" was my low self esteem. I didn't like myself and wanted to be somebody else. Because of internalized mysogyny I though those somebody else should be male.
What made be realize I'm not transgender was fact there is no gender. There is also no gender in my culture (it's western thing), only sex. The sex we are born with is just a simple fact. There is no such thing like self-identification. Just like we cannot stop being human and start "identifying" as ie. cat.
We are who we are, there is no changing that. The only thing is to accept that. For me, liking myself more was the main key to actually accept that.
Agree, in general toxic ideologies often go in pairs, or groups the same as ie scientology and flat earth.
Often people who are into fat acceptance are also anti traditional medicine etc.
What i do think is harmful, and valid point and should be fought against, is discrimination against fat people by doctors, in a sense that they refuse to treat them at all deciding its caused by weight. As the result fat people with cancer, or other serious diseases remain untreated, while often treating them would actually help them loose weight.