This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the comments provided, the account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or an inauthentic user.
Explanation: The comments demonstrate a consistent, nuanced, and deeply personal narrative spanning many years (2007/2008 to the present). The user shares specific, complex experiences (e.g., social transition, legal professional dilemmas, figure skating) and expresses evolving personal views that are characteristic of a genuine individual reflecting on their own life. The language is natural, varied, and shows personal investment in the topic without relying on repetitive slogans. The account's authenticity is supported by the detailed, internally consistent story of being a desister who socially transitioned but did not medically transition.
About me
I started my social transition back in 2007, fully intending to get surgery as a last resort for my dysphoria. A doctor's honest warning about the real risks made me pause, and I ended up living socially as a man for years. I slowly stopped presenting as male when I realized my true friends didn't care and my feelings about my body had changed. Now I live as a gender non-conforming female and manage my dysphoria without hormones or surgery. I'm grateful I avoided permanent changes, and I'm worried that today's rush to medicalize distress ignores the careful thought we had back then.
My detransition story
My journey with gender started a long time ago, back in 2007. I was a young adult and I told everyone I was going to get a sex change and began living as a man. This was a very different time; the community was small and mostly made up of gay men. We all understood that transition was a serious step, a last resort to try and alleviate deep distress from dysphoria.
I fully intended to get surgery, what we called SRS back then, as soon as I was old enough and could afford it. I feel incredibly lucky now that I had a doctor who was honest with me. He sat me down and warned me about the real risks of surgical complications and how it would likely impact my romantic life and my ability to participate in sports. That conversation made me pause. I started to realize I couldn't afford it anyway, so I kept telling myself, "I'll do it later."
For years, I lived in that socially transitioned state. But I began to notice a shift in the people around me. The ones who were only interested in me because I was an oddity, someone from a group they didn't know, eventually lost interest when I stopped being that person. The people who genuinely cared about me didn't really mind when I stopped. Some were even relieved, thinking I had just been hiding other issues like my gender non-conformity or my bisexuality.
My own feelings started to change too. Around 2017 or 2018, I gradually stopped presenting as male. It wasn't one big moment, just a slow process of stopping. I realized I didn't feel as alienated from my body as I used to. I still have dysphoria, especially around my periods and my chest, but I've found ways to manage it that I never could have imagined before. I never ended up getting any surgeries or taking hormones.
Looking back, I see now that a lot of my feelings were tangled up with other things. I'm bisexual, and people always assumed that because I was gender non-conforming, I must be a lesbian. I think I internalized that message and it created a lot of confusion. My experience has led me to believe that we need to separate gender non-conformity from sexual orientation. Not every masculine woman is a lesbian, and not every feminine man is gay. Most gender non-conforming people are actually straight, just because there are more straight people in the world.
My thoughts on gender now are that the idea of being "non-binary" can sometimes reinforce the very stereotypes it claims to break. By saying you're not a woman because you aren't feminine, you're reinforcing the idea that women must be feminine. True gender non-conformity, where you are a woman who is masculine or a man who is feminine, does more to challenge the binary.
I don't regret my social transition because it was a part of my journey to understanding myself. But I am horrified by what I see happening now. It feels like there's a rush to medically transition, and I worry that people aren't getting the same careful, honest warnings I did. I see young people, especially girls, being swept up in something that feels like an anti-feminist backlash, and it terrifies me. I'm grateful that financial and legal barriers prevented me from making permanent changes to my body that I would likely regret today.
Age | Year | Event |
---|---|---|
20 | 2007/2008 | Began social transition, announced intention to get SRS. |
30 | 2017/2018 | Gradually stopped presenting as male and desisted. |
(Present Age) | Now | Live as a gender non-conforming female, managing dysphoria without medical intervention. |
Top Comments by /u/Erevi6:
Matt Walsh is a bioessentialist - he uncritically believes women should be feminine and men should be masculine. As interesting as his interviews on the subject are, I think it's a damn shame that he's trying to become the face of a counter-movement.
In anybody is interested in GC books by women, feminists, and kesbians, I'd recommend Trans by Helen Joyce, Material Girls by Kathleen Stock, and Irreversible Damage by Abigail Shrier (but I understand how this title could be upsetting).
Last time I opened up about my transition (in 2007/2008) and detransition (not a specific moment, would have been around 2017/2018), I got lectured by a teenager on how much damage I was doing to the transgender community. I thought, 'how funny - I would have started my transition before he/they was even born.'
(On a side note - I really like this thread, it's so much more respectful than any other transgender community I've ever been in.)
It's hard to be in that sort of position, having an insight into how dysphoria and gender identity manifest, but not being able to say anything.
I'm a (bisexual, de-socially-transitioned) lawyer and I have to roll my eyes at some of the things that these training sessions come up with. Non-lawyers telling lawyers to ignore a client's actual legal options (like how to argue against deportation), just because those actual legal options could be construed as invalidating...
(I think the client at least deserves to know their full range of legal options. How else can they make an informed decision about themselves?)
I think the misinformation is a consequence of contemporary politics - the idea that the opposing side must always be wrong, simply because they are the opposing side.
Dividing medical interventions for dyshphoric/LGB youth/autistic youth along political lines helps nobody.
It's interesting that trans women only ever attempt to enter the sports that they have a biological advantage in. I mean, you'd think 'feminine' figure skating or gymnastics would be more gender-affirming than weight-lifting, MMA, or swimming ...
I've been figure skating for over 10 years. Men like to pretend that male figure skaters outperform female figure skaters, but the 'categories' have very different rules and requirements. I mean, you generally won't see the female athletes perform the same jumps as the male athletes, but you won't see the male athletes perform the same spins as the female athletes - compare some of the best male figure skaters doing Biellmann spins to women doing Biellmann spins, layback spins (men don't even do these), and others (1:15 onwards) (you could also just look up random videos of random women doing Biellmann spins - they're usually better than professional males).
(Sorry, that turned into a bit of a rant, I just find it really, really, REALLY interesting. Plus, I love figure skating, and I think people underestimate the insane core strength, leg strength, and balance needed to perform.)
The 'MLM' in question? Predominantly written by female authors for a predominantly female audience.
Yes, I'm very disturbed.
When I started my 'transition' in 2007, I met with a small group of other 'transgender' people. We were all dysphoric - we had sex dysphoria, body dysmorphia, or, owing to our sexuality and gender non-conformity, gender dysphoria. We accepted that transition should only be used to alleviate our dysphoria-induced distress.
Now, however, feels like an anti-feminist, hyperfeminine backlash. I'm worried that a lot of people who are ill-suited for transition will end up transitioning and suffering unnecessary medical problems.
I'm not from your target audience, so feel free to tell me to piss off, but this is how I feel having watched the development of the transgender movement over the past 20 years: I socially transitioned back in 2008ish, back when the overwhelming majority of transgender people were gay males, and the 'preferred approach' was to 'watch and wait,' and when everyone understood that transitioning was just cosmetic changes to ameliorate dysphoria. It used to frustrate me that I had to wait until adulthood to undergo SRS, but, watching what young people are going through now... Well, I feel awful for all the people who don't have the same opportunity to develop that I did.
I'll give you a hypothetical example (but refugee law is spot-on):
A ftm client seeking permanent protection alleges he cannot return to his country of origin on fear of persecution.
If we followed the sensitivity training advice, we'd be limited in the legal advice we could give - we could look at the treatment of men in the country of origin (which will not establish the claim of persecution alone, ever), or we could look at the treatment of trans men in the country of origin (there is very little research on the treatment of trans men in countries - moreover, this tends to suggest that the hypothetical ftm client 'is not really a man,' so it may break the sensitivity training). In other words, the client's options are very limited (and the chances of success are potentially quite low).
There are problems citing homosexuality too. For example, a trans man may be in a relationship with a man, but if the decision-maker sees the trans man as female, and understands that their relationship is unlikely to attract a risk of harm based on how he looks in the country of origin, then the decision-maker may dismiss the claim. Immigration law isn't about how you see yourself, it's about how others see you (and this is a real problem for bisexual claimants).
If we chose to apply the sensitivity training in our dealings (e.g. using pronouns) but ignoring much of its application, we'd have a much better chance of establishing persecution. We could still look at the treatment of men and the treatment of trans men specifically, but we'd also be able to look at the treatment of female people, GNC female people, and female people assumed to be lesbians (and, usually, all at once). In other words, the client has a much better range of options (and may choose whichever option the client wishes to choose, even if it may be invalidating).
A bit of a simplification, but I hope I've communicated the point properly!
Sex is also relevant in criminal law (imprisonment, image-based abuse), medical/negligence law (treatment, possibly standards of care), etc.
I started my transition back in 2007/2008, intending to get SRS as soon as I was old (and rich) enough. I feel both incredibly lucky that my doctor warned me of the potential risks that SRS had and absolutely horrified that so many people today aren't getting the same care...
(Warnings on the risk of surgical complications and the likely impact surgical transitioning would have on my romantic and athletic life.)
Are people still being warned? From what I've heard, it comes down to the individual doctor?
I was permanently banned from a major women's sub, that twoxchromosomes one, for criticising a penis-having author's commentary on vaginas... (in the creepiest, power-tripping possible way). It's such a shame that Reddit is so hostile to LGB people, women, and detrans people.