This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, this account appears authentic.
There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or an inauthentic user. The comments demonstrate:
- Personal, detailed anecdotes about their own medical history, emotional state, and timeline of feelings.
- Consistent internal narrative that aligns with a desister/detransitioner perspective (e.g., initial trans thoughts, taking HRT, later regretting breast growth).
- Nuanced and empathetic advice that is responsive to other users' specific situations, which is complex for a bot to replicate convincingly.
- Natural language patterns with varied sentence structure, idiomatic expressions, and personal reflection.
The passion and specific viewpoints expressed are consistent with a genuine user from the detrans community.
About me
I started having overwhelming trans thoughts around 17, which led me to take hormones to grow breasts. For a while I liked the changes, but the feelings eventually faded and I was left with regret. I now see my experience was a maladaptive way of coping with depression and other health issues. I never had surgery, and I'm grateful for that as I focus on getting healthier every day. I'm learning it's okay to be a male who is just a bit different.
My detransition story
My whole journey with this started when I was a kid. I remember being around 12 and actually being proud of having a flat chest. I was happy I didn't have what people call "moobs" and I hoped I never would. That feeling completely changed when I got older. Between 17 and 19, I was hit with these intense trans thoughts. They didn't feel like my own thoughts; it was like they were being downloaded into my head, repetitive and overwhelming. I tried to deny them at first, but eventually, I decided to just go along with them a little bit. That's how it always seems to start, and then one thing just leads to another.
I became obsessed with the idea of having breasts. I went deep into researching exactly what kind of hormone replacement therapy (HRT) would work best to make them grow. I learned it's a mix of genetics and using a custom routine. I even got PRP (platelet rich plasma) injections and took supplements that are supposed to increase estrogen activity, which I think helped boost my growth. For a while, I liked the changes. But then, after some time, the trans thoughts just faded away. Now, I look back and wish I hadn't done it. I wish I didn't have breasts.
I think a lot of what I went through was connected to other problems. I've struggled with depression, and I found out I had a vitamin D deficiency, which seems to be really common. I also think the media I consumed played a big role. I used to be really into anime, but I've come to see that a lot of it is overly sexual or surreal. The fan communities can be full of what's called autohomoerotic content, where fans portray male characters as gay for self-insertion fantasies. For young women, these online spaces, including gaming communities inspired by anime, can be a real gateway into these confusing thoughts. It can make you feel numb and disconnected from yourself.
I never had any surgeries, and I'm glad I didn't. It's hard to move past things, but it's a lot easier if you don't permanently change your body. I've had moments where I worry I'll never fit in again as a normal man, but I'm doing much better now than I was a year ago. I'm healthier, less depressed, and making progress in my life. I'm taking things one day at a time.
Looking back, I see now that it's perfectly okay to be a tomboy and like stereotypically male things like cars, and still be proud of being female. I think my feelings were a maladaptive way of coping with stress and other underlying issues. If I could talk to my younger self, I'd say, "You’re male, but you’re suffering from depression and a vitamin D deficiency. Fix those and you’ll be just fine."
Here is a timeline of the main events:
| My Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 12 | I was proud of my flat chest and hoped I would never develop breasts. |
| 17 - 19 | Intense trans thoughts began. I researched and started a custom HRT regimen to grow breasts. |
| 19 (approx.) | The trans thoughts faded. I began to regret the physical changes from HRT. |
| Present Day | I am detransitioning, focusing on my health, and taking life one day at a time. |
Top Comments by /u/EricBB989:
It was probably a combination of genetics and using a custom routine. I also had PRP (platelet rich plasma) injections and was using supplements that are known to increase estrogen receptor activity. This probably boosted my growth.
I was under the impression trans women had to get plastic surgery to get average/large sized breasts, and that hormones would only add a tiny amount of fat.
Most end up fairly small and need surgery to get average or large breasts. A few end up with a lot of growth. It depends on a lot of factors.
It sounds like your dysphoria stems from being dissociated from yourself. I think that one thing that might help is changing the media you consume. Your username mentions being an anime fan.
Anime shows tend to be overly sexual / fetishistic or surreal. There's also a huge number of 'bad apples' in the subculture and a lot of pro-trans content. Being exposed to that every day can make a person feel numb and dissociated.
If I were you I'd try cutting down my internet time and avoiding any anime subs or shows for a couple months. There's so many other hobbies and cool things to do.
What would I tell my younger self? “You’re male, but you’re suffering from depression and a vitamin D deficiency. Fix those and you’ll be just fine.)
I just mentioned Vitamin D in another thread, it's surprising how common it is for people to be deficient in it.
I've def had moments where I feel like I won't fit in again as a normal man.
...but with that said, I'm doing better than I was a year ago. I'm healthier, less depressed, and making progress in several areas of life. It's all about taking things a day at a time.
I haven't watched that one, but when I looked it up a lot of the Fandom's pictures were autohomoerotic. That basically means that the fans portray the male characters as gay and have self-insertion fantasies.
Online gaming communities inspired by anime / Manga can also be bad about this and tend to be a gateway drug for young women.
It's absolutely okay to be a tomboy who likes cars & still be proud of being female.
When you had your trans thoughts, how did they feel? If this question is too personal feel free to let me know and disregard it.
Repetitive, intense, like someone was telepathically downloading them into my head. I went through a period of denying them but then decided to go along with them a 'little bit' and one thing followed another.
anyway, a few months ago i went through IMMENSE stress unrelated to any trans thoughts and then the trans thoughts started up again. it's become something i think about 24/7, and i went from loving my body and doing things that gave me joy to just a shell of myself, feeling like i'm no longer a girl, and feeling like i might have gender dysphoria
I definitely think that stress can precede or amplify dysphoric feelings.
For some people it can help to very calmly and slowly say a positive mantra like, "I do not hate my body, these thoughts are temporary."
Getting outside and spending time in nature, with no cell phones, can also help.
I'm sure that, in time, you'll start to feel better OP.
It's hard to move past things, but it's a lot easier if you don't change your body. I'm sure you'll get there one day.
The thing is, though, that I hate having "dysphoria" because I miss how I used to love myself. I honestly genuinely cannot believe that this is something that I'm going through because I never thought that it would happen to me.
You mentioned that you used to like your chest & it reminded me of myself. When I was about 12, I remember being proud of my flat chest and hoping I'd never have moobs. When I was 17-19, I had a lot of trans thoughts and wanted to have breasts. I went out of my way to figure out exactly what type of HRT program would work best to grow them. I liked them for a while, then the trans thoughts faded. Now I wish I didn't have them.
I agree with what u/Ok_Bullfrog_8491 said about maladaptive coping mechanisms.
I also think it might be a good idea to write down some thoughts on your trauma, maybe even take a screenshot of what you posted here, and show it to an adult who you trust. If you have a good relationship with your parents or a trustworthy grandparent it might be a good idea to talk to them.
Sorry you felt that way, I get it. It's incredibly frustrating.
Did you have surgery yet?
My T is normal and my E is on the high end of normal, possibly due to thyroid inflammation. I did have some reduction in size during the first two months off HRT but then plateaued.