This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account appears authentic.
There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or a bad-faith actor. The comments demonstrate:
- Consistent, nuanced ideology aligned with a critical perspective on medical transition.
- Personalized engagement, directly responding to specific points in other users' posts with advice and concern.
- Emotional authenticity, showing passion, frustration, and a clear personal investment in the topic, which is consistent with the experiences of detransitioners/desisters.
The user's perspective is firm but does not read as scripted or artificial.
About me
I started hating my body when I developed breasts as a teenager, and I found communities online that told me this meant I was trans. I took testosterone and had top surgery, thinking it was the solution to my depression. The relief was temporary, and I soon realized my real issues were trauma, low self-esteem, and internalized homophobia that made me reject being a lesbian. I am now left with permanent physical changes, including infertility, that I deeply regret. I am learning to accept that I am a woman who can be any way she wants, and I'm working through my pain in therapy.
My detransition story
My journey with gender started when I was really uncomfortable with puberty. I hated the changes in my body, especially developing breasts. I felt like they made me a target and forced me into a role I didn't want. I think a lot of this was tied to a deep-seated low self-esteem and some past trauma that made me want to escape being female.
I spent a lot of time online in communities that encouraged these feelings. I was influenced by the idea that if you hated your body and didn't fit female stereotypes, you must be trans. I started identifying as non-binary first, and then later as a trans man. It felt like a solution to all my discomfort. I thought transitioning would fix my depression and anxiety.
I ended up taking testosterone and got top surgery. For a while, I felt a sense of relief. I liked having a flat chest and a deeper voice. But after a while, the high wore off and I was left with the same mental struggles, just in a different body. I started to realize that my issues weren't really about gender. I had a lot of internalized misogyny to unpack; I had associated being a woman with being weak or less than, and that wasn't fair to me or to other women.
I also had to confront how my sexuality played a role. I'm attracted to women, and I think some internalized homophobia made it hard for me to accept being a lesbian. Becoming a "man" felt like a more acceptable way to be with women. There was also an element of escapism and a kind of self-harm in my pursuit of surgery; I see now that I was seeking a drastic change to punish my body or to try and feel something else.
I deeply regret my medical transition. The top surgery is permanent and I have to live with these scars. I am now infertile because of the testosterone, and that is a profound loss that I grieve. I worry about the long-term health complications, like early menopause and the other effects of having my natural hormone production shut down.
My thoughts on gender now are that it's a social construct. Being female doesn't mean you have to act or look a certain way. You can be a woman and wear baggy clothes, have short hair, and do whatever you want. You can't change your sex, and trying to comes with huge risks and permanent consequences. I benefited greatly from therapy that wasn't just about affirming my gender identity but that helped me work through my trauma, self-esteem, and body issues.
I wish I had waited and worked on my mental health first instead of rushing into changing my body. You can always get surgery later, but you can never undo it. I hope my story helps someone else pause and think.
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 14 | Started puberty, began to intensely hate my developing breasts. |
| 17 | Found online trans communities, began identifying as non-binary. |
| 19 | Started identifying as a trans man and began taking testosterone. |
| 21 | Had top surgery (double mastectomy). |
| 23 | Realized I regretted my transition and began to detransition. Stopped taking testosterone. |
| 24 | Underwent therapy to address underlying trauma, low self-esteem, and internalized homophobia. |
Top Comments by /u/Eucalyptia:
I dislike Female pronouns and being addressed as a woman
There is something to unpack here. You hear "she" and "woman" and your mind starts thinking of unpleasant stereotypes. It's not fair to yourself or to women.
I wish I was a dog or something, animals don't need to worry about gender and appearance
Neither do we. You can do and wear whatever you want regardless of whatever's between your legs (society is yet to catch up to this fact). We're just animals too. We piss and shit and fart and eat. I see people the way I see animals, are you male or female? I don't take clothing or interests into account. It's much simpler that way, and more accurate, and less confusing. We're just fancy monkeys.
Hysterectomies are linked to very real increased chances of developing dementia when you're older, and you'll get early onset menopause as well as cause your body to lose its ability to create its own hormones. A hysterectomy is usually something that many people absolutely mourn having to get... I find it odd that others willingly seek them out. You can't continue to figure out your gender identity for a while without cutting out perfectly healthy internal organs? What harm will it do for you to wait to see if you're sure? I know what harm it would do for you to rush - and then regret it. You can't exactly put it back in.
Now you focus on and follow your non-gender dreams
By the way. You can look and dress however you want. If you feel more comfy in baggy, androgynous clothes, you don't have to let that go just because you're female. You don't have to look any kind of way or do anything just because you're female, always go with your comfort and happiness. Also, please get counseling to help deal with your past. ♥️
but I've been identifying as not female
It's as simple as this: female and male are not identities.
All the expectations and stereotypes around female and male people are just that: expectations and stereotypes. You are free to ignore them. You can't ignore your biology, though. To me there is freedom in that
Otoh, for those who really and truly do want this with no doubts or regrets, how long should we make them suffer or wait?
It's absolutely better to err on the safe side, and try to aim for it not even happening at all. People can start regretting these choices years down the line, and you can't ever go back. In this case it's not an issue with the body (cancer, gangrene, like you said) but an inconsistency of the mind. Therapy, not surgery, should be pushed.
I’m personally a masochist who gets off on mutilation.
Not to be weird but you mention you "get off" on it. I hope you understand that the surgery you're getting in December will decimate your sex drive (you'll be removing your source of testosterone, which is the primary source of your sex drive) and the sudden drop in testosterone/libido might almost "sober" you up and you might regret the whole thing once you no longer feel that sexual thrill that some find in transitioning. I only mention it because this is really not too uncommon unfortunately.
Meh. There's always assholes. I've gotten into intense debates with more masc radfems who pretty much tried to say I can't be feminist if I wear mascara and like dresses. Whatever. Obviously criticize the society that forces these things upon women... But if a woman still ends up wanting to participate in those things just trust her own agency, I say. That brings a little more of the choice/liberal feminism into my own personal mix, though I'm still way more radfem aligned than libfem aligned overall. We all should form our own ideas based on what we know and feel rather than because we want to fit neatly into one category.
I just don't concern myself with those unmovable people who just wanna argue. I see the main point, I agree overall, etc. I deleted my tumblr because all the infighting and fighting with other communities and gatekeeping etc etc was getting to me mentally. But that's almost every online group... Trans and gender groups, radfems groups, fuck even vegans argue with each other about whether impossible burgers are vegan. They all have their drivel. I say the less time you spend in online groups that are solely dedicated to people sharing their opinions the better. Customize your own ideals and then move on to looking at cat pics or something.
I’d even go so far as to say I hope I do regret it. Lol I’m odd to say the least
Dude. You don't need this surgery, you need some help to deal with your affinity for self harm. You hope you do regret it... that's your masochist sexuality talking (not to mention whatever else might cause you to say that.) You're gonna remove your libido and suddenly feel like you were splashed with ice cold water... and it won't be a turn on
Ew. He's a misogynist. I wouldn't be able to deal with that no matter my own gender identity. And to address your other issue, contrary to popular current belief, you do have a right to care, be displeased by, not approve, not put up with, the porn your partner watches, how they spend their time online, etc. You're probably outgrowing him.