This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, this account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or an inauthentic actor.
The user's narrative is highly detailed, emotionally complex, and internally consistent over a two-year period. They describe a very specific personal journey: being on testosterone for seven years, detransitioning, the physical and social challenges involved, and their evolving perspective. The comments reflect a nuanced and passionate viewpoint that is common among real detransitioners and desisters, including anger at medical practices, personal regret mixed with acceptance, and a focus on long-term health. The language is natural, with personal asides, self-reflection, and varied emotional tones that are difficult to fake consistently.
About me
I started transitioning at 22 as a masculine woman who felt disconnected from my body. I lived as a man for nearly eight years, which gave me confidence and a sense of safety. I eventually realized I was hiding again and missed my true, butch self. I stopped testosterone two years ago and am now embracing life as a lesbian woman. While I don't regret my journey, I wish I had dealt with my trauma first.
My detransition story
My whole journey with gender has been a long and winding road. It started when I was around 22. I was a masculine woman, a lesbian, but I felt really disconnected from my body and myself. Looking back, I think a lot of that came from some childhood trauma and also from internalized homophobia and misogyny—I just didn't see a happy future for myself as a butch woman. I felt trapped by what people expected of me because I was female.
I found a lot of transition timelines on YouTube and related so hard to the trans guys talking about their dysphoria. It felt like an answer. I saw a therapist for about two hours total, and she just affirmed me right away without asking any deep questions about my past or my mental health. I got the letters I needed and started testosterone.
Being on T was a huge confidence boost at first. I finally grew the red beard I’d wanted since I was a kid! My body changed, my voice dropped, and I passed completely as a man for nearly eight years. I even became a sex worker for a while during a six-month cross-country road trip. That trip, and that work, actually helped me reclaim my sexuality after some sexual assault experiences and after having identified as asexual until I was 21. For a long time, I was happy. I felt safer traveling, I got more respect from people, and my masculinity finally "made sense" to the world.
But things started to shift. I began having some health effects from the testosterone that were getting worse, and I started thinking about not wanting to be dependent on HRT for the rest of my life. I also realized I missed being part of the queer women's community. When people saw me as a man, they always assumed I was a gay man, and I'd have to come out as trans to try to connect with women, which felt weird and often led to me being fetishized. I just stopped feeling like I wanted to be a man. I felt like I was hiding again, just in a different way. I missed being my true, butch self.
I stopped T about two years ago. The first time I tried stopping, I went back on after a year because the changes were happening fast and I wasn't ready. But this second time, I was. My body changed quickly again—my face softened, my body hair got thinner and lighter, and I gained some weight in my hips and thighs. It's been a process. For the first eight months or so, I was still read as male almost all the time. I started doing voice training, not just to raise my pitch but to change how I speak to be less monotone. I even started wearing makeup sometimes, which is something I never did before transitioning, to help people read me as female when I wanted to be.
Now, over a year off T, I'm finally being seen as a woman again more often. I'm embracing being a butch lesbian. My sexuality shifted back too; I lost all interest in men once I was off hormones. I’ve come full circle. I don't fully regret my transition. It was what I needed at the time to survive and learn about myself. I had amazing experiences and became who I am today because of it. But I do think medical transition is seen as the first solution too often, when for people like me, dealing with trauma and self-esteem issues should have come first. I have some regrets about my top surgery; I'm considering fat grafting reconstruction but I'm also trying to accept myself as I am.
My thoughts on gender now are that it's a journey. I see myself as a female human who is both masculine and feminine. I don't feel the need to fit into a binary anymore. I'm just trying to live my life authentically, focusing on my hobbies and my friends, instead of making my identity all about my body.
Here is a timeline of the main events:
| My Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 22 | Started testosterone therapy and began socially transitioning to male. |
| 22 | Got top surgery. |
| 22-29 | Lived as a cis-passing trans man for 7 years on testosterone. |
| 29 | Stopped testosterone for the first time, but went back on after a year. |
| 30 | Stopped testosterone for the second and final time, beginning my detransition. |
| 30-31 (Present) | Living as a detransitioned female, identifying as a butch lesbian. Voice training, laser hair removal, and navigating being perceived as female again. |
Top Comments by /u/Euphoric-Slice-6266:
Nice, we can do this! I see my gender as a journey, feeling trapped by my birth sex and the expectations put on me, running as far away as possible to the opposite side, but having fun in the process expressing my masculinity in ways that were actually supported (cuz sexism) and even becoming a sex worker while doing my 6-month cross country road trip, which helped me reclaim my sexuality after being asexual until 21, then having some SA experiences (on top of some childhood shit that happened). Excited to reclaim my masculinity but while being proud of being female, instead of feeling disassociated from it.
Life may not feel worth living right now, but please trust me and others in this community that your current feelings, while totally ok to feel, will not last forever, and you can and hopefully will live past this phase and find new meaning and happiness in life. The shape of our meatsuits is really not important compared to the things we can create in this life, the connections with others that can be formed and the love and joy that is to be found. You are not ruined, you are young, and you have SO much life left to be lived. You may never have another chance, please stay strong and choose to stay here. 💜
Yeah, my beard was amazing, I loved it, talked about wanting a red beard since I was a kid and then made it happen. Without t it will turn mostly blonde and thin out, but I may still grow it occasionally cuz fuck it, I don't care about how others perceive me anymore
I basically could have written this. I was on t for twice as long as you, looked way more masc when I was a trans guy, and yes, its worth it. Voice training, hair, and laser hair removal do wonders, you already have a pretty face so you will be fine. You will live a longer, healthier life if you stop so if you are having these thoughts then you should stop now. It'll all be ok!
Cuz it makes them tons of money and its not their job to do mental health screenings, they are cosmetic surgeons. But yes it's fucked up, there needs to be more gatekeeping especially for people under 25, I wish I saw a therapist more than once and I wish she actually asked me questions about why i wanted surgery and hormones instead of just affirming me.
Thank you! Some health effects from t were getting worse and I've been considering it for over a year, a solo cross country road trip made me rethink some things in my life and I concluded that I missed being perceived as a queer woman, now I'm always seen as a gay man and I don't really like men very much haha, I just stopped feeling like I wanted to be a man
The right person for you will understand, I mean trans men find partners and hookups, your situation is obviously different but there are lots of people who don't care what your genital configuration is and care more about personality and common interests. Don't give up hope!
You've been on blockers for 5 years with no t or e?? Holy shit, please get off them, you need hormones to prevent osteoporosis, for brain development and normal bodily functions. Hormone blockers were designed for kids with precocious puberty and to be used short-term, not for teens your age.
I know you don't trust therapists to help you after your experience which I understand, but there are good therapists out there that can help you deal with this trauma and reconnect with your body in a healthy way, I have friends whose lives have been saved by emdr therapy. You are capable of moving past this, please at least try. There is a lot of pain in this world, but there is also a lot of beauty and joy to be found if you can endure the hard times.
I've met quite a few trans people who passed super well irl, one trans guy was 6ft and i thought he was cis until i saw his top scars and he disclosed to me. Plenty of others passed online but when i met them in person was surprised by their body proportions, height or voice, but i dont think most cis people would clock them still. I ironically took a lot of pride in not being clockable to most people (including trans people) and was told by trans guys that they were jealous of my height, beard, no visible surgery scars etc, but even so some people would still clock me and it would surprise me. There is so much variance amongst people though that i have assumed multiple people i have met were trans until discovering they were cis, so no it isnt always easy to tell.