This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, this account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or a bad-faith actor.
The user's comments display a consistent, deeply personal, and emotionally complex narrative of medical transition, surgical regret, and the subsequent process of detransition. The story includes specific, lived details (e.g., pelvic floor issues, loss of sexual function, marital dynamics, an autism diagnosis) that are complex and interwoven over time, making them difficult to fabricate consistently. The emotional tone is nuanced, ranging from anger and frustration to sadness and introspection, which aligns with the expected passion and pain of someone who feels medically harmed. The account does not read like a script or propaganda but like a genuine personal history.
About me
I was a feminine boy from a very conservative home, and my transition began as a way to escape relentless bullying and intense internalized homophobia. I now see it was a trauma response, not a true identity, and my autism made it hard to understand what was happening to me. After surgery, I suffered severe physical and mental health complications that forced me to confront the truth. I deeply regret my transition and have accepted that I am a gay man, though I live outwardly as a woman. I feel my story is a warning that we must explore the root causes of dysphoria instead of just affirming it.
My detransition story
My journey with this started a long time ago, and looking back, I can see all the pieces that led me to transition, even though no one helping me at the time did. I was a feminine boy who grew up in a very religious and conservative home. I was taught that being gay was a sin and that gay people lived sad, lonely lives. At school, I was bullied relentlessly. Kids would scream slurs at me in the hallways and throw food at me. My own sister tormented me at home. I had no safe space anywhere. I now know I’m autistic, which my mom knew my whole life but didn’t tell me until I was 26. It made it hard for me to understand I was being bullied until much later.
All of this combined into a deep self-hatred. I developed an eating disorder and severe body issues. I was sent to conversion therapy, which only made everything worse. Instead of helping me see I was just a boy who might be gay, it made me believe my discomfort meant I was actually a girl. I had intense internalized homophobia; I was terrified of being gay and became my own biggest bully. I saw eight different therapists, both family and individual, and not one of them explored my trauma or the root causes of my distress. All they saw was a feminine boy with gender dysphoria and anorexia, and they just affirmed my feelings. There was an urgency to transition young so I would "pass," and I felt rewarded for having more severe symptoms.
I started hormones and eventually had bottom surgery over a decade ago. At first, transitioning felt like a solution. It allowed me to wear feminine clothes and date men without the fear of being called a slur. It was like a mask that protected me. I built a life as a woman. I’m married to a wonderful, supportive man, and my nieces and nephews only know me as their aunt.
But the surgery was my downfall. It wasn’t what I expected. I lost control of my pelvic floor, I have sore scar tissue and damaged nerves. Intimacy is the most difficult part now; I feel nothing—no drive, no desire. I also started having serious health problems after surgery: extreme paranoia that lasted two years, emotional swings that made me drop out of grad school, and now I suffer from migraines, TMJ, and brain fog from the estrogen. These complications forced me to really think about why I did this in the first place.
I now believe my gender dysphoria was a trauma response. It was a way for my brain to protect itself from the shame of being a gay man. I was a gender nonconforming kid who was traumatized for being different. I feel like I traded one set of problems for another. I regret my transition, especially the surgery. I feel stuck because I’ve built this entire life, but I know the truth: I am a man. I am a gay man. I feel jealous of gay men who are comfortable in their bodies, knowing that’s a path that was blocked for me by my own fear and by the system that failed me. I can’t get back what I lost physically, so I’ve settled on detransitioning in my mind. I know who I am without changing my body again.
I don’t believe the current affirmative model of care is right. We need exploratory therapy to understand the why behind the dysphoria. For me, it was internalized homophobia, autism, and trauma. I think the medical community was well-intentioned but flawed. The gate opened too wide, and people like me, who needed psychological help, got medical intervention instead.
Here is a timeline of my journey:
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| Childhood | Grew up in a religious, conservative household. Bullied at school and home for being feminine. Developed internalized homophobia. |
| Teen Years | Sent to conversion therapy, which worsened my gender dysphoria. Developed anorexia. |
| 26 | Learned from my mother that I am autistic. |
| Late teens / Early 20s | Saw eight different therapists. All affirmed my gender dysphoria without exploring underlying trauma. |
| Early 20s | Started hormone replacement therapy (HRT). |
| Early 20s | Underwent bottom surgery. |
| Post-Surgery (30s) | Experienced serious health complications: pelvic floor issues, nerve damage, emotional instability, paranoia, migraines, TMJ. Began to regret transition and understand it as a trauma response. |
| Now (30s) | Living stealth as a woman but mentally detransitioned. Accepting myself as a gay man without pursuing further surgical reversal. |
Top Comments by /u/Even_Discipline_7474:
I’m so sorry you’re going through this. It’s tough. There’s good and bad days. I find writing my story to be helpful, which allows me to work through my issues. I’m not going through reversal surgeries because I fear scar tissue and that it won’t be the same as what I had before. I’ve settled with keeping my body as is while allowing my mind to detransition. I know I’m a man. I know I’m gay. I can be both of those things without changing anything about me. I am who I am.
I’m sorry you’re going through that. It’s a tough decision to navigate on your own. Puberty blockers and HRT are a new science, so there’s no guarantee on what you’re able to recover. Ive heard mixed things. You should speak with a therapist and doctor before making any decisions.
The statement was gross and disturbing for sure! I think a lot of these surgeons are AGP males and intimacy is the only thing on their mind. They don’t have a concern for the patient bc these doctors know they’re men. My heart breaks for this patient bc clearly they were hurting and wanted to escape.
You can look at the link for more information. Given that I regret my transition, I think it’s safe to say that it doesn’t work for some. It’s a failure on many levels. Wpath writes the standards, surgeons rely on therapist to approve the patient for surgery, and therapists are required to follow wpath’s affirmation model.
I’m sorry for what you went through. There will be a turning point for all of this…I hope. I went through psychotherapy, but I can tell you the only thing it did was give my surgeon the green light. Sadly, a lot of gender affirming therapists do not address the actual issues. Wishing you healing and peace.
I think there are many paths to developing gender dysphoria. I’m sure there are more ways than listed below, but I would guess the majority have one of these issues.
Gender nonconforming kid that gets traumatized for being gender nonconforming.
Victims of SA
Fetish/kink
I had someone reach out to me after one of my posts. He started saying that his girlfriend forced him to be trans….sounded off. I checked his history and he’s commenting on photos of pro-castration and eunuchs…gross. It would appear they are using our stories for devious purposes.
Exploratory therapy would have been the alternative. Exploratory therapy would have given us the opportunity to work through our dysphoria. Some people may persist after exploratory therapy, but all of us should have been given the right to not medicalize.
Thank you for saying that. I can’t imagine doing this to my child, if I had one. I think I’ll consult with a detrans lawyer. Something needs to be done.
I’m sorry, that must be frustrating. I think a lot of therapist are brainwashed into the ideology….they don’t understand it, but hopefully they will one day. A blog would be great for so many people. One day at a time.
Thank you for your thoughtful response. I totally hear you. I’m learning to accept that there’s a lot I won’t get back.
I know there are worse stories out there, which was why I was hesitant to share mine. My surgery experience is nothing like some of the horror stories, but it makes me think, if I had “successful” outcomes and felt mislead by surgeons, then why are we doing this? Why didn’t my surgeon tell me that I, and many others, would lose control of our pelvic floor? Suffer with sore scar tissue and damaged nerves?
Intimacy is a tough one and is probably the most difficult part for me. I feel nothing. No drive. No desire. No energy. I know what I should feel, but there’s nothing. Part of me thinks that if I didn’t have surgery, then I probably wouldn’t be questioning my identity.
I have a great husband and many things to be thankful for, which also makes regret painful and confusing. How can I regret everything else I’ve gained bc of my transition?
I appreciate your kind, thoughtful words. I know I’ll get through this and definitely need to find a support group.