This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on this limited comment history, the account appears authentic.
There are no serious red flags suggesting it's a bot or inauthentic. The user describes a nuanced, personal, and emotionally conflicted internal experience common among desisters, including a history of mental health issues, influence from online communities, and fluctuating feelings of dysphoria. The language is personal, self-reflective, and lacks the repetitive or agenda-driven patterns typical of inauthentic accounts.
About me
I'm a 20-year-old female who, at 16, became convinced I was a trans man after being heavily influenced by online communities. I was in a constant, difficult battle with myself, cycling between that conviction and the reality of my body. I considered medical transition but didn't go through with it because I knew my history of psychosis meant I couldn't risk permanent change if I might regret it. I'm now learning to love myself as I am and find confidence in being female. My journey taught me that for me, self-acceptance was the real answer, not transition.
My detransition story
My whole journey with this started when I was about 16. I'm female, and for four years, from 16 to 20, I was convinced I was a trans man. I'm 20 now and have only recently realized I need to learn to love myself as I am, to just deal with the cards I've been dealt. But getting to that point was really, really hard.
Looking back, I can see how much the online transgender community influenced me. It’s a very powerful ideology and once you get sucked into it, it's incredibly hard to get out. It's actually kind of scary how easily I adopted that mindset. I’d see transgender stories in the media or online, and just hearing about someone else’s journey and how good it went for them would trigger something in me. I’d instantly adopt their mindset and feel so confident that I was trans and that transitioning was the answer. It was like an episode. Only when I made a conscious effort to cut myself off from those sources could I start to think clearly again.
I was in a constant battle with myself. One minute I’d be so sure I was trans, and the next minute I’d come back to reality and see that I am, and always will be, female, and that I just needed to find a way to accept that. It was super hard. No matter how much I told myself I was being delusional in those moments, the feeling felt completely real.
I thought a lot about medical transition. I had a strong feeling that I needed a deeper, more androgynous voice. But I also have a history of psychosis, and I knew logically that if there was any chance I might regret it later, I really shouldn't permanently alter my body. I realized that my desire to change my voice might just be a confidence thing. I had this idea in my head that my natural voice sounded gross and weird, and that changing it was the solution. But I had to consider that maybe the real work was in trying to become more confident with the voice I already have.
I never went through with any medical procedures. I didn't take hormones or get any surgery. I'm so grateful for that now. My advice to anyone feeling this way is to find a therapist who isn't biased and won't just push you toward transition. You need someone who will help you work out your emotions and get down to the real root of why you're feeling dysphoria and how to deal with it. Try to find a therapist on your own, not one referred by a psychiatrist who might be leaning toward a gender-affirming model. Just google therapists in your area and call one up who isn't specifically a "gender therapist."
I don't regret exploring my identity, but I am so relieved I didn't make any permanent changes. For me, transitioning wasn't the answer. It was about learning to accept myself. I'm not against transitioning for everyone, but it definitely wasn't for me, and I strongly believe people need to be warned about the very real dangers and the potential for regret.
Here is a timeline of my journey:
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 16 | Started to believe I was a trans man (FtM). |
| 20 | Realized I needed to accept myself as female and began to detransition socially. |
Top Comments by /u/EveningConfusion:
I feel the same way. I feel like i am in a costant battle with myself, one moment I feel so confident that I am "trans" and transitioning will be so good for me, and then a minute later I get back to reality and see that i really am female, that i just need to accept myself as i am. Its super hard, and no matter how much i tell myself I am being delusional, when i slip into that mindset I see things so differently. Surprisingly enough, what triggers these "episodes of thinking I'm trans" is being exposed to transgender stories in the media. Just something about hearing/ seeing a transgender persons journey and how good it has gone for them just makes me think it is so great and I adopt their mindset instantly. Only when cutting myself off of those sources do i start thinking clearer. Its wierd.
From what I have seen, this subreddit is for detransitioning/ detransitioned people that previously identified as the opposite gender and transitioned, but now identify with their birth sex, and try to appear socially that way/ use their birth pronouns if possible. But not all detransitioned individuals make the change back to to their old pronouns for one reason or another, but that doesn't mean they are still trans. But i cant speak for everyone since everyones situation is different..
Not all of us are really "against transitioning" but in general, just that it was not for them, and they strongly warn others about the dangers of medically transitioning because they might regret it.
Im in the same boat, having a history of psychosis and all that. Im 20 years old, I thought i was FtM for 4 years until I just recently figured out i need to learn to love myself as I am, kinda "Deal with the cards iv been delt". But that in itself is really hard.
I realised that the online transgender community is very influential. Once you get sucked into the ideology ita really hard to get out of it. Its kinda scary.
If I medically transition I know there is a chance that I may regret it down the line. And logically, to me, that means I really should not medically alter my body.
My best advice to you is to find a therapist that isnt biased, or will push you to transition when what you really need is to work out your emotions and get down to the root of why you are feeling dysphoria / how to deal with your dysphoria.
Try finding a therapist on your own, away from being referred to by your psychiatrist. Maybe google therapists in your area, and call one up thats not a gender therapist or related.
If you need to talk ill be happy to chat, just message me.
Yeah, I am going to do alot more thinking about it... I just dont want to make any rash decisions that will make permanent changes to my body that i wont like. But in the moment I feel strongly that i need to have a deeper/ more androgynous voice. But that may change in a month, or a year.
You make a solid point, perhaps its just a confidence thing. I just have this ideaology in my mind that my voice just sounds gross and weird, and changing that will be my answer. But maybe i should to try to work with what i have, and become more confident in my voice as it is..