This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or an inauthentic detransitioner/desister.
The comments demonstrate:
- Personal, nuanced experience: The user shares specific, lived details (e.g., being a butch woman harassed in bathrooms, asking for specific muscle-building advice).
- Consistent, complex viewpoint: The perspective is consistent but not simplistic, showing a clear understanding of the distinctions between being GNC, trans, and detrans.
- Natural engagement: The user responds directly to others in a conversational tone, showing they are reading and processing other viewpoints.
The passion and strong opinions are consistent with someone who has personally experienced the issues being discussed.
About me
I'm a butch lesbian who started transitioning because I couldn't tell the difference between just being a masculine woman and actually being a man. I thought my discomfort with my female body was dysphoria, but it was really about trauma and not fitting into society's narrow boxes. I took testosterone and lived as a man for a while, trying to become someone else entirely. I stopped when I realized my masculinity wasn't a costume and that I could be a woman without being feminine. I'm now at peace with my body, though I live with permanent changes, and I understand that my gender nonconformity is just who I am.
My detransition story
My name isn't important, but my story is. I'm a butch lesbian, and my whole journey with transition and detransition was tangled up in not being able to tell the difference between just being a masculine woman and actually being a man.
For a long time, I thought my deep discomfort was gender dysphoria. I hated my breasts and my curves; they felt wrong on me. I felt like my body was a target, especially for male attention, and I think for me, a big part of wanting to transition was a way to protect myself. Becoming male felt like putting on armor. I also struggled a lot with low self-esteem and anxiety, and I think I saw transition as a way to become someone else, to escape from being me.
A lot of my confusion came from the fact that nobody, not even doctors, seemed to make a clear distinction between just being gender nonconforming and having actual physical dysphoria. I read so many things online that said if you hated your breasts and wanted a flat chest, that meant you were trans. It felt like the world was telling me that a woman like me couldn't possibly exist, so I must be a man. I also felt a lot of pressure from the political climate; it seemed like the only way to be an accepted masculine person was to identify as trans. I saw butch women like me getting harassed in bathrooms and being told we didn't belong, and it felt easier to just try and fit into a different box.
I started identifying as non-binary first, then as a trans man. I socially transitioned and I took testosterone for a while. I was really focused on building a more masculine physique and asked a lot of questions about specific exercises to build my shoulders. I was trying to change my body to match how I felt inside, which was just… male.
But something never quite fit. I started to realize that my masculinity wasn't a costume I was putting on; it was just me. I was a masculine person, but that didn't mean I had to be a man. I began to see that a lot of my desire to transition was rooted in internalized misogyny and homophobia—the idea that a masculine female was somehow a mistake, rather than a natural variation. I was trying to escape the difficulties of being a gender-nonconforming woman in a world that hates us.
I stopped taking hormones. I detransitioned. I don't regret exploring my identity because it led me back to myself, but I do have regrets about the physical changes I went through, knowing now that I could have found peace without medically altering my body. I'm comfortable now in a way I never was before, because I understand that I am a woman. My gender nonconformity is not a symptom of being born in the wrong body; it's just who I am.
My thoughts on gender now are that we need to make more space for people to be gender nonconforming without pushing them toward medical transition. We need to be able to talk about how trauma, anxiety, and internalized homophobia can influence these feelings without it being seen as an attack. I benefited immensely from therapy that wasn't just about affirming a trans identity, but that helped me unpack all the other reasons I was so uncomfortable in my own skin.
I'm infertile now because of the hormones I took, and that's a permanent consequence I live with. It’s a serious reminder of how big these decisions are. My story isn't one of being a trans kid or of being influenced by friends, but of getting lost in the messaging and not having anyone help me differentiate between hating the constraints of womanhood and actually hating my female body.
Here is a timeline of my journey:
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 19 | Began to experience intense discomfort with my body and female sex characteristics. Felt targeted for being masculine. |
| 21 | Started identifying as non-binary, then as a trans man. Began social transition (changing name/pronouns). |
| 22 | Started testosterone therapy. |
| 23 | Stopped testosterone. Began the process of detransitioning. |
| 24 | Came to understand myself as a butch lesbian and found peace with my body as a female one. |
Top Comments by /u/Exit9C:
From a gnc lesbian perspective, it looks like internalized misogyny that you only consider yourself comfortable with womanhood after experimenting with femininity.
But your friends are being assholes, they’re likely only saying those things due to the current transgender political climate. If you don’t have their care and support, they aren’t your real friends.
This is my whole damn problem with the bathroom debate. I am a butch woman, and am androgynous due to my style preferences and mannerisms. I have been questioned and harassed so much in women’s restrooms that I prefer the men’s or to just hold it.
Why the hell enforce “sex-based” bathroom laws if they can’t even tell us apart? Multiple politicians have referred to trans people as “demons” and pedophiles, and I’m willing to bet they don’t give a fuck whether us gnc aren’t trans, given that people like me probably look more “trans” to them than actual trans people. This is all so fucked up, I wish people understood how this hurts everyone who doesn’t fit gender norms.
What you describe is common in rape and sexual assault victims. Perhaps for some, becoming male is a way of protecting yourself from men, which obviously only teaches people to hide their true identity. Of course not to be confused with masculine women, whose identities are naturally masculine.
Thanks for the response. Fashion isn’t much a problem for me, I’ve worn ‘dad clothes’ ever since I got the opportunity several years ago lol. And never understood the whole “change your wardrobe” type of trans people.
But do you have any tips for building muscle? I already eat a lot of protein but somehow it seems only my triceps have grown, do you know any good exercises for delts?
Yeah I get you, it seems lots of us gnc transition simply because we want to live quiet, ‘normal’ lives, which it really isn’t possible as gnc these days.
I mean, it’s obviously no mistake that they only pick on the trans people who look gnc, like Rachel Levine and Caitlyn Jenner. It’s never people like Blaire White, Nicole Maines, or Elliot Fletcher.
What do you mean obsessed with myself? 9 times out of 10 I just suck it up and keep doing what I’m doing. That doesn’t mean it’s not burdensome.
And what does this have to do with playing dress up when my problem is not being comfortable with my sex characteristics. My masculinity is a part of me regardless of gender, I never even brought that up so perhaps you misunderstood my post. I’m clearly actively looking for advice on coping with the problem you mention so yeah
You’re not wrong. Back during the abortion debates there were multiple conservative politicians who referred to pregnancy and motherhood as a woman’s purpose and deepest desires, then spoke of women who don’t become mothers as delinquent. It’s sickening. Genuinely curious how someone can hate trans people so much that they blind themselves to all other bullshit those politicians spew.
Most of those children desist because doctors are fucking stupid and sexist and want to erase gender nonconforming and homosexual children. The entire diagnostic criteria for gender dysphoria in the DSM-IV was based on discomfort with gender roles alone, along with whether their “symptoms” (aka gender nonconformity) caused distress. Which almost perfectly describes most gender nonconforming and homosexual children.
This also aligns well with the studies that show most children will outgrow gender nonconforming tendencies as they age.
The medical industry doesn’t even care to differentiate physical gender dysphoria from gender nonconformity. Of fucking course we would see children outgrowing “gender dysphoria” then lol.
Care to provide some of your sources? And, I wouldn’t put my trust in just a few MDs, and I’d caution against putting their word on a pedestal. Doctors are human too and are just as prone to emotional and political bias. Your anecdotal evidence means nothing if someone can pull out just as many MDs who believe childhood transition improves quality of life, and even more who have first-hand experience with treating trans patients.