This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, this account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags indicating it is a bot or a bad-faith actor.
The user's perspective is consistent with a desister/detransitioner: they speak from personal experience, express common regrets, and display a deep, nuanced, and often critical understanding of trans and detrans narratives. Their passion and occasional anger align with the expected sentiment of someone who feels harmed by their experience. The comments show a coherent personality and a consistent, evolving viewpoint over time.
About me
I thought becoming a woman would fix my deep insecurities, and I started hormones at 20 after being influenced by online communities. I now see my desire was heavily driven by sexual fantasies and a warped view of myself from porn. I realized the online world was a bubble, and transitioning was an escapist fantasy that would have limited my real life. I stopped hormones at 26, and I'm glad I never had surgery. Now, at 27, I've found a new peace and am focused on building a real life and embracing being the man I am.
My detransition story
My whole journey with transition started because I thought being a woman would fix my deep insecurities and the discomfort I felt in my own skin. I was born male, but I spent a lot of time online in trans communities, starting around 2013. I was influenced by what I saw there and got this idea that trans people, especially trans women, were these incredibly confident people who had it all figured out. I wanted that certainty for myself.
A lot of my feelings were tied up in sexuality. I now realize I was dealing with autogynephilia (AGP); my desire to be a woman was heavily driven by sexual fantasies. I also watched a lot of porn, and I think that addiction warped my view of myself and what I wanted. I had this idea that if I transitioned, I would finally be happy and confident, and that I would pass as a woman. I thought it was the solution to my low self-esteem and depression.
I took hormones for a while. I never got any surgeries. Looking back, I'm so glad I didn't. My experience in the online world was so separate from real life. In real life, I saw that most trans people weren't the confident icons I imagined; they were often insecure and living in a bubble, terrified of anyone popping it. I once got physically threatened by a drag queen for just saying that their friend didn't pass. It showed me how fragile that world could be.
I also started to see that the idea that "gender expression is separate from gender identity" is something only a very small group of people online actually believes. In the real world, especially in working-class communities, people don't see it that way. I realized that if I had continued, it would have limited my life. It's hard to be taken seriously in a professional career, like being a doctor or someone people need to trust, if you're living that way.
I regret transitioning because it was a waste of time and energy. It was an escapist fantasy. But in a way, I'm glad I went through it because it got it out of my system. I'm still young and now I can focus on building a real life. Since detransitioning, I've found a new appreciation for being male. I understand that all men, whether they're masculine or feminine, face social pressures. There's no "greener grass." Being a man is great in its own ways, and I'm learning to embrace that.
I don't think about being the other gender anymore. I'm focused on growing into the man I want to be, without all the fantasies and online noise that consumed me for so long.
Here is a timeline of my journey:
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 19 | Started spending time in online trans communities, began identifying as trans. |
| 20 | Started taking hormones, believing it was the solution to my insecurities. |
| 26 | Stopped hormones and began detransitioning, realizing it was based on a fantasy. |
| 27 | Found a new sense of peace and acceptance with being male. |
Top Comments by /u/External-Post-7821:
I regret transition cause it was a waste of time. But I am happy that I no longer think about it much, or care about the other gender or being the other gender.
If I didn't attempt to transition, maybe I would be wasting more time on it later in life. Instead I am still young and can focus on growing into who I want to be.
I used to spend a lot of time online, and it is definitely for losers. I still spend too much time online. Most successful people with dynamic social lives barely know reddit exists. Reddit is filled with weirdo losers who have weird social values (extreme social leftism) that doesn't ever show its face in real communities of people, especially working class people of all races.
Usually they just use facebook and instagram.
Its pretty much impossible to exist as a trans person in a career that really requires people to put their trust in you.
Not to denigrate artists, I am a reader and an enjoyer of things that aren't necessarily "industrious", but no one really needs to put their trust in you for you to succeed (I guess outside of those sponsoring you for exhibitions). It seems more about gaining attention.
If you are a doctor, a dentist, someone handling someone elses money, someone that is required to establish and maintain business relationships..... that is when reality hits and you can't be the blue haired hipster as easily anymore. Even if such blue haired hipsters (or trans people) are some of your patients/clients, which is the case for myself.
I don't think many people have this kink....
I mean how many people even use Tumblr.
Trans people are not privileged. Most of them have pretty sad lives compared to the average heteronormative person.
Buts its another example of how radically different the experience and inclinations of a FtM and a MtF is. Yet supposedly we are all "trans" and have this common narrative. Just boys wanting to girls and girls wanting to be boys. Ya right. The narratives are fucked and make no sense when you drill into them. They would be better described as male pathological thinking and female pathological thinking
Oh man.... you are like classic case of someone who should not transition.
Ok you are attracted to girls and have autogynephilic fantasies, yes? You did not mention that in your post, but I assume that is the case.
I think if there was no sexual motivation for your "dysphoria" there would be no motivation.
Everyone think they are gonna pass. Just cause you don't look like superman/chad doesn't mean you look at all "female" or ever will.
Just take finasteride.
For trans people I meet in real life, I definitely don't share my true thoughts. I know they can't handle them. Easy for me, as I don't know many trans people in real life. Already been threatened physically by a drag queen cause I said her pretty trans friend didn't pass.
I will echo one of your thoughts. Which is that I had this idea that trans people, trans women were extremely confident people who "knew who they were". As though they had somehow stronger senses of self than the average person.
How wrong I was....
While certainly some trans MtFs have courageous, inspiring, personalities and egos that one could envy.... the vast majority are broken insecure people, desperately protecting their bubble, because when reality pierces through, its often very painful and intolerable.
That they seemed to be sure of who they were.
I have seen this echoed in reddit trans places for years, I was transitioning and in those spaces since 2013. I felt the same thing. Its a load of shit, like most stuff that gets spun up about "trans" cause its mostly projecting escapism.
Its not baffling. Most "kinks' trend towards the submissive side. Which trends towards femininity. Forced "masculization" will never be sexy. Forced femme always will be. It all goes back to biology and evolution.
There are biological reasons that huge significant percentages of men enjoy being submissive or having submissive sexual experiences, where as hardly any females enjoy being dominant or having "masculine" sexual roles, especially if they are attracted to men.
What porn do you watch? Have you considered that you may be addicted to pornography and thus basing your sexual identity around porn. And then further consider that our sexual identity greatly informs our general identity, because humans are very sexual creatures.
Since detransitioning, I did discover a new joy in being male. Being a man is great in many ways. But I think there is a definite "grass is greener" (edit: and it seems someone already echoed this sentiment below me) mentality going on. If you were a cis male you would just be jealous of other cis males that have qualities that you do not. Or women that have qualities and experiences that you do not.
For example you take it at face value that all these men out there with "feminine" energy get to live a wonderful life as a male.
The way a drag queen behaves on stage is not indicative of the power of expression, and freedom from negativity that they actually experience in their day to day lives.
Same with some twink boy who gets off on being a pretty boy and having people admire him. Eventually he grows up, and has to transition out of that kind of mindset and lifestyle.
My point is that you seem to implying men have all this flexibility to have "feminine energy" when in reality they do not, the social expectations effect ALL men, doesn't matter if they are a gender bending drag queen, gay twink, masculine super-alpha, they will feel the pressure and it can get very heavy and ruin the sense of any "power" one feels from being male.
It’s ironic because everyone goes on about how gender expression is separate to gender identity and how sexuality is different again
Except, no one believes this. Just cause you see it in a New York Times Op-ed doesn't mean average street-folk think this way.
I mean yes, trans people believe this. But their opinions are not relevant to the average hetero-normative person.