lmao i’ve had trans friends be accepting of my detransition to my face and then heard thru the grapevine that my current “identity” offends them, that i’m privileged and taking the effects of hrt “for granted” frankly it’s fucking ridiculous how insecure they get around detrans ppl, like perhaps the call is coming from inside the house

I wish someone could have broken down the whole "if you question or are otherwise fixated on your gender identity, then you must be trans" argument. I voiced serious doubts 3 months on T, verbatim said "I think I might just be a cis woman" but the queer people around me literally tried to talk me out of it, citing that I was visibly uncomfortable being referred to as one. Like duh, maybe me being uncomfortable being a woman was what led me to transition, but that doesn't mean that I should have done it.

Many believe transitioning to be inherently harmful health-wise, and a massive mental cope or delusion. I agree with the other commenters that say it’s an ideological problem, and that they are going to have certain feelings towards people perpetuating an ideology they feel wrecked their lives.

You do realize that the insinuation you're making is that detrans women are uglier versions of themselves before, right? Perhaps that's why you're getting pushback on this post. I personally don't think all posts need to be productive, but this one I could see being particularly upsetting for some.

I was also really scared about this! I was on T for 1.5 years about and now I’ve been off for almost 5 months. Not only have I been accepted by many lesbians, I’ve been pleasantly surprised at how many have been attracted to my masculine features. Yes, there will be people who don’t understand, but finding the ones who do should offset that pain. It’s a pretty good way to filter out people who judge only based on appearance—this phrase used to annoy me because I wanted to be accepted only based on experience, but I’ve been able to experience that post-T, too! I’d also echo comments that have mentioned detrans and butch lesbians on T being a known phenomenon in the community. You’ll be okay! Give yourself grace and time to settle back in. I’ve found that being accepted and being considered attractive for my masculine traits has been really healing. It helps that I live in a very gay area, but I’m sure that anyone would be able to find that to a lesser degree regardless of demographics. Hope that this helps and if you need/want to chat about anything, feel free to dm me :)

If you keep working out (if that’s possible given your health issues) and eating protein your muscles won’t atrophy. You can keep what you have now as long as you keep providing the muscles with stimulus; gains are just going to be slower than they were on T.

I've also been checking this subreddit obsessively, trying to look for positive outcomes with voice training and general detransition but it's affecting my life to the point where I can't even go an hour without scrolling. It's not even making me feel better anymore, I think it's just keeping me stuck. But I don't understand why the compulsion is so strong that I cant seem to stop looking.

This also isn’t to invalidate anyone whose life did significantly change for the worse more than mine did—everyone’s process is different and those people definitely deserve the space to speak about that. I never got surgeries nor do I have lasting health issues from my time on T, so that’s something to add. I just wanted to post this for anyone who was struggling to imagine a happy future as much as I was six months ago.

Personally, I don't feel any more comfortable about being female/a women just because I've accepted that it's my reality. I think this goes along with the idea that gender transition won't necessarily completely fix gender dysphoria, and honestly detransitioning might not, either.

This isn't to say that detransition won't fix anything, but I don't think you should expect detransition to be a blanket solution. This is all a process, saying to yourself in the mirror "I'm a woman!" is not going to magically make you comfortable with it. I think it takes time.

At this point I'm on my way to accepting that I might always feel shitty about my body and presentation. Doesn't mean that my body/presentation is shitty, or any less deserving of the title of woman. Detransitioning for me (right now, I'm not far in at all so I guess take this with a grain of salt) is about accepting that life was and will be easier for me if I return to presenting as a woman, and that my transition was a band-aid solution for problems that could (and should) have been solved by other means.

Tbh you can do whatever you want, I've been medically detransitioning for a couple months now (just being off of T) but socially people refer to me with he/him pronouns because that's just how people know me at college. I'm graduating in a few months and plan to socially function as a woman after that. Advice that's been helpful for me is that you don't have to rush any sort of change, this is your experience and it's okay to go at your own pace.

Part of why it's uncomfortable is probably just the long amount of time you've had this self-conception. It's perfectly fine to hold onto those pronouns for the time being until it makes sense or feels safe to use she/her. I won't lie, it might be somewhat controversial for you to be a he/him lesbian, but if you find certain circles that vibe with that it's certainly possible.

I think digging into what exactly makes you feel so uncomfortable about being referred to as a woman might be helpful. I'm still not clear on this myself, but it's a good place to start. Try not to stress too much (also advice that I need to follow), clarity will come with time and you're not going to figure out all the answers right away.

Is your confusion about why you're uncomfortable? Or is it just a general confusion about your relationship with (de)transition?